Movie Review: Wu-Tang Mystagogue

Starring: Hong Kwong, Chang Yi, Hsu Feng, Chan Siu Pang, Carter Wong (Thunder from Big Trouble in Little China)

Features: Full length preview for Dolemite before the movie starts, Expanding Kanji Film Style, Blind Kung-Fu Master, Ninjas, Royal Ear Cleaning, Heart Removal Device, Worlds Most Complicated Trap (tm) defeated by a fishing pole, Oddball bird weapon (complete with flying-for-no-reason noise), Arab-Ninja vs. El Mariachi look alike, Random albino cockatoo, Extensive Kung-Fu editing, Massive deforestation, Wagon-Wheel-Fu, Canadian Shuriken, Chair made of knives, Booby trapped Buddha, Sister Martyrdom, Seven second James Bond musical interlude.

Memorable Lines:

Rebel: "Death, just what is this Death?"

Imperial Guard: "Well, I'll help you find out!"

Blind Master (when surrounded by enemies): "You still have time to repent your ways."

Best Fight: Brother and Sister vs. Evil King.  Fought on a carpet of slippery soybeans.  Topped off with a 45 second death scene.

Plot Synopsis: A brother and sister duo must head out from the sacred temples of the Shaolin to rescue the rebel Ming prince.  Along the way, they must deal with threats from the Imperial Guard, Ninjas and a mysterious pair of wanderers, one who wields the deadly 'Bloody Birds' and one who is a master of, well, the fishing pole.  Can the brother and sister pair save the captured prince and maintain the safety of the Shaolin temple?

Reviews:

Akodo:

Bald Headed Dragon:

Hana: