Movie Review: The Streetfighter's Last Revenge

Starring:

Features: Laser-shooting Mariachi, Repeated use of the word 'Pigbastard', Gratuitous vampire fangs, Blatant breast grabbing, Big fat sensei, Mojojojo voice speaks ancient wisdom, Vulcan head pinch, Cheesy 70's music montages, Mariachi vs. cremation incinerator, So much money it takes two people to lift it, Harpoon gun, Six-million-dollar-man noise, Kung-Fu jumping, Kung-Fu editing, Bad Love Scenes x 2, Incomprehensible "synthetic heroin" storyline, Booby Scenes x 6 (with minor booby-to-mouth-contact.)

Memorable Lines: "I think that dress will look much better off, clothes just get in the way"

"We can call our partnership 'Good and Evil Incorporated."

"You're the woman I'm interested in, and its not just for your money, its really not."

Best Fight: Chiba vs. Mariachi with a half naked screaming girl running around.

Plot Synopsis: Uhm, that's a toughie.  Sonny Chiba, as Tsurugi, kind of doesn't like the mob.  Or maybe he does.  I don't know.  Apparently there's this secret formula for making synthetic heroin, and its contained on two tapes that must be played together to decipher.  Chiba always has one of them, I don't know how, but he does.  He basically kicks everyone else in the movie around for an hour and twenty minutes, kills the whole syndycate, and blows up his girlfriend.  I really don't know what the hell was going on in most of this movie.

Reviews:

Akodo: