Kids Safety Online

For parents who have grown up with television, raising today's Internet generation can be daunting. Kids know more about the technology and they use the Internet differently from adults, so it is not surprising that parents often feel at a disadvantage.

While it can be intimidating, parents' involvement in their kids' online lives is essential. They may be miles ahead of us technically, but kids still need adults to help them develop good judgement and critical thinking skills to deal with situations, information and people they encounter online.

A good starting point for parents is to become familiar with how their kids are using the Internet. Most of us don't have a clue what our kids are up to when there are multiple windows open on the computer screen and their hands are flying over the keyboard at breakneck speed. This section will help you take the first step towards becoming more aware and involved by explaining the different technologies that kids use and the activities they like.

Web sites

The Web - short for the World Wide Web - is the most popular place for kids to visit on the Internet. A Web site consists of a "page," or a collection of pages, containing text, pictures, links for downloading games, music or software and sound and video clips. There are literally millions of sites on the Web, which can be accessed using software on your computer called a Web "browser."

The Web is different from other media in that it offers kids the ability to create their own content. Young people use the Web to explore and display their creativity in very exciting ways - creating online movies, music, Web sites, e-zines (magazines) and blogs or online diaries.

However, the Web has its downside. When surfing it's easy to come across sites containing pornography, hate, violence and illegal and dangerous content and activities. Children's privacy can be at risk both from commercial sites that ask for personal information, and when kids themselves post contact information or photos on their own Web sites.

With millions of pages already published, and thousands more being posted every day, finding accurate online information can be an intimidating task. Since anyone can publish their views online, the Web contains a great deal of inaccurate and misleading information. Studies show that young people tend to believe that "if it's on a computer it must be true," so it's important to teach your kids to question what they read online.

If your kids have their own Web sites, be aware of what they are posting. Teach them to respect copyright by not stealing from other sites and to never post anything mean or threatening about another person.

Tip: Create a family Web site, with help from your kids, to keep friends and relatives up to date on your activities.

E-mail

If you have Internet access, chances are you use e-mail. Sending and receiving e-mail, which stands for electronic mail, is the number one use of the Internet. E-mail is a fast, efficient and cheap way for kids to stay in touch with friends and family and even establish pen pals (e-pals) around the world.

Despite the benefits, anyone who uses e-mail is aware of the explosion of spam, or junk e-mail, which floods into inboxes each day, much of it offensive or obscene. It has been estimated that junk e-mail makes up over 40 percent of all e-mail travelling over the Internet. Kids, who may not think critically about the messages they receive, are particularly vulnerable to the ads, scams and disturbing messages that can show up in their accounts.

Internet Service Providers (ISPs) generally supply their customers with free e-mail accounts. If your kids are young, ask your ISP about setting up a shared e-mail account for them so you can monitor their messages. To protect young children from receiving unwanted messages, teach them to never share their e-mail address with anyone they don't know.

If your kids are older, they probably have their own free accounts through sites such as Hotmail and Yahoo! Help them set up filters on these accounts to avoid unwanted messages and make sure that in the registration process they choose NOT to receive promotions from advertisers or to be included in an Internet directory. Encourage them to protect their e-mail address and never give it out over the Internet.

Tip: Set up a 'dummy' e-mail account for your kids to give out online. This will protect their real address from junk e-mail.

Instant messaging

For today's Net generation, instant messaging (IM) has replaced the telephone as the most popular way of talking with friends. Kids rush home from school, log on and continue schoolyard conversations, often staying online for hours.

To use instant messaging, you need to download software from the Internet and register with an instant messaging service. Because the most popular IM service is MSN Messenger, many kids refer to instant messaging as 'MSNing.' Instant messaging is a great cost-free tool for kids for talking to friends, keeping in touch with people in faraway places and for coordinating school projects.

Many parents confuse instant messaging with chat rooms when their kids say they are 'chatting' online. While both technologies involve talking in 'real time,' there are important differences that have safety implications.

A chat room is a place on the Internet where you can talk to anyone in the world. Imagine opening up an international phone book, picking out random strangers and calling them. Instant messaging is a safer environment because it permits users to select the people they want to talk with. Users create contact lists of friends to chat with and can block people they don't know or don't want to communicate with.

While kids have some control over who they talk to, it's still possible to talk with strangers using IM. The prestige associated with a large instant messaging contact list means some kids have over 100 IM 'friends,' many of whom they've never met.

Kids feel freer to say things online that they would never say face-to-face, so instant messaging can be used to spread rumours and gossip. For many kids, this means home is no longer a refuge from the peer pressures of school.

Most IM programs encourage users to fill out a 'personal profile' which includes detailed personal information. Once completed, this profile is available to anyone on the Internet who wants to pull it up and read it. Kids should be taught to never fill out these kinds of profiles online.

Tip: Sit with your kids and review their instant messaging contact list to make sure they know everyone on it.

Chat rooms

Chat rooms are places on the Internet where you can have live, real-time conversations with many people at the same time. Think of it as a telephone party line - except you type rather than talk. Everyone in the chat room can see what everyone else writes, but you can still be as anonymous as you want.

While chat rooms can be dynamic meeting places for people with similar interests, they can also be cruising grounds for predators trying to make contact with young people. For this reason, kids shouldn't be in chat rooms - period. Just as we teach young children not to talk to strangers in the street, they shouldn't be talking with strangers online. When they become older (10-13) they should only participate in monitored kids' chat rooms, and even then under the close supervision of an adult.

Chat rooms are monitored in several ways. Some sites run software that automatically shuts people out for using inappropriate language, while others use real live monitors. Keep in mind that even in monitored chat rooms, there is nothing to stop an adult from joining in and pretending to be a child.

Young teens are particularly vulnerable with regard to chat rooms. They're exploring their sexuality, moving away from parental control and seeking to establish new relationships outside the family. In the anonymous atmosphere of chat rooms, they feel free to be more open and honest and conversations can quickly become intimate, making them vulnerable to online predators.

Because of this, adolescents should be encouraged to only use monitored teen chat rooms, to protect their personal information when chatting online and to always stay in the chat room's public area. (Some chat rooms offer users the option of going into 'private' rooms, or sharing private messages, that no one else can see or monitor.)

Tip: Keep your Internet-connected computer in a public area of your house - never in a child's room.

File-sharing

File-sharing, also known as "peer-to-peer" technology, allows users to search for and download files from other users' computers. Young people use this technology to swap music files or video files of TV shows and movies. Kids have embraced downloading culture from the start, and, as with most technologies, are way ahead of parents in this area.

The sharing of copyright-protected files over the Internet is illegal but that hasn't stopped file-sharers from downloading and swapping millions of files on a monthly basis. The recording industry blames file-sharing for a 25-percent decline in compact disc (CD) sales since 1999 and is fighting back by suing individuals who have downloaded files on a large scale.

Parents need to take an active approach in this area and discuss the ethics of file-sharing with their children. It is a complex topic, with many people, including parents, downloading files and some musicians speaking out in support of the practice. You can help your kids think about this issue by asking if they're aware that file-sharing is illegal. Ask them to think about the artists who created the work. Should they not be compensated when their songs are exchanged online? Also, if everyone file-shares where will the money come from to develop and promote new artists?

To access a file-sharing network, users need to download special software. While these programs are available free online, they come at a cost. Some of the most popular programs are bundled with additional software known as "scumware," or "thiefware." Once installed on your computer, this software automatically creates links on Web pages that send users to advertising and, sometimes, pornography sites.

Another concern related to file-sharing is that many people use these networks to trade pornographic images and videos, making it easy for kids to stumble across obscene material. Compounding the problem is the fact that parental filters designed to block pornography don't work with file-sharing programs. Some file-sharing programs now offer their own built-in filtering systems, so check to see if the program your kids are using can be configured to block sexually explicit material.

Tip: If you see yellow or green links on Web pages, it means you have 'scumware' on your computer. To learn how to remove it from your system, visit www.scumware.com.

Text messaging

A new form of electronic communication that is becoming increasingly common is text messaging, also known as SMS, for short message system, through cell phones. It is popular with kids because it's cheaper to send a text message than to make a phone call and they can send their message out to many people at the same time.

It's called short message system because cell phone screens are so small they can only display a limited amount of words. Kids use an SMS language, based on short forms and acronyms, that is also popular in chat rooms and with instant messaging. Cryptic conversations written in SMS lingo baffle most adults.

For example, here's a short conversation in SMS: how wz d pRT last nyt? Did U hav :)? Got 2 go, c U l8r Translation: How was the party last night? Did you have fun? Got to go, see you later.

It is not easy for parents to monitor cell phones because unlike computers in a public area of a home, school or library, phones are personal, private, connected - and always accessible.

As with the Internet, parents and kids use cell phones differently. Most parents see cell phones as tools, while kids view them as an integral part of their social and entertainment lives. Unlike parents, who find cell phones intrusive at times and turn them on and off as necessary, kids have their phones turned on all the time so they can always be reached - by their friends that is, not necessarily by their parents!

An increasing number of kids are also being bullied through text messaging. Because kids tend to keep their phones on at all times, bullies can relentlessly harass victims at school, at home or even in their own rooms. If your child is bullied through a cell phone, report the problem to your phone service provider. If it's a persistent problem you can change the phone number.

Cell phone use by teens is also challenging teachers as more and more students send and receive text messages during classes or use text messaging to cheat during tests and exams.