The Big Piece of Gum by Claw

It was a quite day when...GASP! HORROR!! Bustopher Jones ran out of food! "Oh my god!" he yelled when he realized the awful truth. Instantly, he set out in search for food.

He went to his favorite restaurants, but they, too, were out of food. It seems Bustopher's love of their cooking had caused them to be out as well.

Everywhere Bustopher went he found that there was no food. He was even reduced to digging through garbage cans, but this tended to be very ineffective as he was constantly getting stuck in them. After a time, he switched to dumpsters, but they, too, were empty.

Finally, he went to the other Jellicles for help. "It's your own fault," Skimble said. "Yeah," agreed Victoria. "You've eaten everything on town! There's no food for any of us!" "But I have to eat," Bustopher whined. He decided to go to Old Duteronomy for his advice. "Oh great Old Guy," he said. "Please give me your advice. I need food, but none is left." "I've lived a long time," Old Duteronomy said, "but I'm afraid I don't know the answer to your problem." "No!" Bustopher whined. "But," Old Duteronomy said, "and in this case I mean Lard Butt, I do know who can help you." "Who?" Bustopher asked getting excited. "Why, the Good Magician Mistoffelees, of course." "Of course!" Bustopher said whacking his forehead with his hand. Stray bits of fat flew off, landing on the ground and wobbling like Jello. "Thanks, Old Guy," he said, and hurried off.

Bustopher reached the Good Magician's castle, but the door was locked. How was he to get in? Bustopher circled the castle, and met up with a bunch of bowling pins. They were guarding a key that obviously fit the door.

"Hey, can I have that?" Bustopher called. The bowling pins, upon hearing him, lined up in a triangle formation and stood before him. They weren't giving up that key without a fight. How was Bustopher going to get it?

Then, it hit him. But he was so fat that it bounced right off. All he had to do was bowl them over. Bustopher backed up, got a running start, tucked himself into a ball, and started rolling towards the bowling pins. They scattered when they saw him coming, leaving him the key.

One of them yelled "Strike!" Apparently they were tired of doing this job and were going on strike. The Bowling Pin Union wouldn't be happy about this.

Now Bustopher had the key. He went around to the front of the castle, but now there was a moat. Bustopher was shocked that he had missed this, but he had to cross. But how?

Then, he had an idea. He held his nose, bent his legs, and yelled "Cannon Ball!" He jumped into the water. But the water, thinking it was under attack, rushed away. Apparently, it thought it was under attack by a huge black and white ship with cannon balls.

Now Bustopher walked up to the door, placed the key in the lock, and turned it. The door opened. Bustopher started to walk through, but then realized that the door was too small. His massive body wouldn't fit through. Now how was he going to get in?

Inspiration hit again, and again bounced off. He leaned up against the door, and let himself seep through. As they say, "There's always room for Jello," and his body, being mostly made of lard, acted just like it.

Thus, after a few minutes, Bustopher was in. And there was the Good Magician Mistoffelees. "Whaat can I do for you, Bustopher?" he asked. "Oh Good Magician, I'm hungry and there's no more food. What shall I do?" "First of all, you owe me one year's service," the Good Magician said. "Question. If I work for you, I'll be fed, right?" Bustopher asked. "Of course. You have to have your strength to work for me," Mistoffelees answered. "Good, then I'll take the job. Now, where's the food?" Bustopher said, drooling.

Mistoffelees took one look at Bustopher and knew that he would be out of food shortly if he fed him. "I'll tell you what. Just for this once, I'll forgo the one year's service. As for your Answer..." Mistoffelees made a big sweeping gesture. A huge piece of gum appeared. "Eat that." "But how will that help?" Bustopher said. "Well, it should take you quite a considerable amount of time to eat it all, and when that's done, it'll take seven years to digest. And by the time that happens, there should be plenty of food, again."

"Hey, thanks!" Bustopher said, grabbing the gum and leaving. He headed back towards the other Jellicles and explained Mistoffelees's Answer.

"Well, that's fine for you," Victoria said, "but what about the rest of us? You're just a big tub of lard. And another thing..." Bustopher wasn't listening to her. He was focusing on how much she looked like a Little Debbie snack cake.

Then, suddenly, he popped her into his mouth. Besides, seven years was a long time and Bustopher hadn't eaten in a while. It would be good to start off with some solid food. But he quickly spit her out and shouted loudly "Hey! Where's the cream filling?"

THE END