| 1st | 2nd | 3rd | TOTAL | |
| Dallas | 0 | 1 | 1 | 3 |
| Buffalo | 0 | 1 | 1 | 2 |
RICO'S PICO'S FOR GAME 2
By RICO
Wednesday, June 9, 1999
The game begins with Lindy Ruff protesting to the referees about the plastic playing surface and his team forced to wear roller blades. The refs turn a deaf ear and tell Ruff if his team doesn't come out in 10 minutes in full gear, the game will be forfeited.
Dominik Hasek leads his team out, sporting their roller blades. Hasek trips and falls on his blades as soon as he steps on the plastic. Six Sabres fall on top of Hasek, reinjuring his groin. Dwayne Roloson is forced to step in and take over. Being a former roller hockey player, Rolie the Goalie comes up big and stops Brett Hull on a break away. The first period is scoreless and instead of a zamboni coming out between periods, a Dallas city sweeper comes out and cleans the plastic.
In the second period, Richard Smehlik scores on a breakaway against Eddie the Eagle and puts the Sabres on the board. Ten seconds later, Derek Plante gets it back, scoring one against his former teammates. Plante does a wild celebration after scoring and has to be escorted off the plastic by mental health workers because of the fear he could hurt himself!
In the third period, Eddie Belfour gets tired of not having any action, so he pulls a Patrick Roy - skating up the ice with the puck. Belfour skates right past Smehlik and labels a shot, top shelf where Momma hides the Vezinas. Rob Ray steps on the ice and labels Mike Modano, getting boos from the crowd. But Ray continues his aggressive play, stealing the puck form Hull and going in alone on Belfour. Ray does a 180 degree turn with his back facing Belfour and shoots the puck between his legs. The puck does a crazy hop on the ice and bounces over Befour's head and into the net. Tying up the game.
The game goes into triple overtime before Jamie Langenbrunner is able to put one past Rolie to win the game and tie the series! Ken Hitchcock flies over the boards and picks up the 5 ft 11 in Langenbrunner twirls him around and throws him right back into the net in which he just scored. Langenbrunner comes back and splashes Hitchcock right in the face with the water bottle left lying on the net. The Reunion Arena goes wild and the fans demand that the Stars transfer to the pro Roller Hockey League.
After the game, Hitchcock comes out for his press conference blowing his Sousaphone. He takes it off his shoulders and slams it against the wall, shattering it into pieces. "The activities leading up to a game consume all your energies. Your very soul is stolen from you by the flowing river of time. My mind has run dry of all fluid energies. The progression of thought has been cut off, my meditation has been buried and forgotten. Devoid of any fulfillments or Stanley Cup victories, I creep onward in my never ending journey of drudgery. Dragging my legs through the swamps of despair, a coach clings onto the branch of creativity. Finally surrendering to oblivion, Man discovers the Roller Hockey League!"
With the temperatures reaching 102 degrees, the Dallas Stars pull the ultimate surprise on the Sabres. Game Two is going to be played on a roller hockey surface! The temperature is way too hot to make ice, so the Stars figure this is one way to beat Hasek and his teammates. In last night's game, the Sabres were able to survive the intense heat and make it deep into the first overtime period. Game 2 will be a different story and a different playing surface. This is how the Stars will level the playing surface. On roller blades, Hasek will be a mere mortal.
