If you'll count my tears
You will see my fears-
Fears of every word and deed.
If you'll feel my pain
You'll become insane.
You'll cut yourself until you'll bleed.
If you'll walk in my shoes
You'll see there's nothing to lose
But a worthless aching soul.
If you'll feed my heart
you will fall apart.
You'll know why I lost control.
Cry with me everyday,
Die with me every night.
Say what i always say:
"I will be alright!"
But I'm not an angel,
And god doesn't love me.
I'm not an angel.
No one's thinking of me.
If you'll think my thoughts
You'll see evil dots
Inside my twisted mind.
If you'll look through my eyes
At the mirror that lies...
Maybe I'm better off blind!
I hate myself everyday
Lets see you hate yourself every night!
Say with me what I must say:
"I can win this fight!"
But I'm not an angel
And I cannot save myself.
How can I undo
All the things that I gave myself?
We hate ourselves everyday,
We die alone every night.
We say what we learned to say:
"We are all alright!"
But we are not angels
And god doesn't love us.
There are no angels
Flying above us.
No, we are not angels
And no one can save us.
No one can undo
All the things that they gave us.
Somewhere we'll see there's an answer to all that we've found.
Somehow, no matter how hard we try the walls crumble down.
And even the air that we breath doesn't want us here-
Not even the people that told us what we want to hear...
When you come here you learn that tears come from loneliness.
We'll never be free- we'll always be tied to the fence.
Somewhere I lost every part of what used to be me.
Sadly I'm no longer what they designed me to be.
They cannot hurt me... no more... - I will take no offense...
I'm doomed forever to stay here- tied to the fence.
Some say we are holy, some say we'll never be whole.
Some say we are falling through a black hole.
Some say we are merry being how we are.
Some say we won't carry it very far...
Some people say all our lives that we only pretend.
Some people think that we'll break if they start to demand.
But we are stronger and stronger... though on false pretense.
We stay low, but we always know we are tied to the fence.
It's amazing...
How a person changes so much in just weeks...
I never thought I could be so weak-
But I am.
It's so frightening...
How a person loses his self-control...
I never thought I would sell my soul-
But I have.
I've changed so much
I can hardly recognize myself.
I'm afraid of what's happening inside myself
And I can't deny it-
I know it's not right
And I wanna fight... I wanna fight...
But I give up,
I let go,
And I watch the process from outside
And I slowly become addicted
It's the pain that I can't hide.
It's all I care about now,
It's all I think about now...
That's what I realize now:
It's my life.
Nothing matter...
I never thought I'd ever
Sell my memories forever...
It's my love.
There's one thing only-
About the rest I don't care.
When they told me that it
Happen out there
I wondered if it could happen to me
I was sure I won't let it be!
But now I just give up,
I let go,
And I watch the process from outside
And I slowly become addicted
It's the pain that I can't hide.
I miss you like water
In the boiling sun
Of technology.
Today I run
Across the border-
To save what's left
Of my childhood.
Now I'm clean-
As loves die...
As pure as the earth
When it touches the sky...
As pure as the skin
When it parts from the soul,
And purges from sin.
I should lock myself in heaven
Let no angel find out.
But I give myself in:
Guilty without a doubt.
And my soul burns in hell-
But my body is pure,
And I'm free from the pain
Only I can't endure!
I'm floating in a bubble.
Weightless- but so heavy.
Insignificant-
Yet causing pain.
Silently I fly
But inside I'm crashing
Submissive to the force
I contain.
See me floating-
I'm so close to your world
Yet so far...
I'm too strong to survive
And too weak to reach out
And cry: "give me a hand!"
My bubble is rising...
I look at the ground-
You're all small...
So small compared
To the force that contains me.
My bubble is about to pop-
And I will fall down crashing
Never again
Will I contain
A force.
If you'll come closer, undress my disguise...
Will you forgive me for all of my lies?
If you will see me: nothing but truth-
Will you forgive me for my stolen youth?
Someday, I promise, we will be cured:
All I've inherited, all you've endured...
Someday our pain won't be our thrill.
We will be healthy- never more ill.
Don't let them pour over rain.
I will remember your stolen pain.
Don't cry now- cover the stain.
I won't forgive, I'll steal you again.
Top of my lungs I'm screaming to crack.
Wasted while I am painting you black.
Through our existence will we go on,
Or will our choice be: ending our song?
Don't let them tear you apart.
Please, take good care of your beautiful heart
Don't look back now: we've gone too far.
Always remember: you're my stolen scar.
While I endure you: you are too kind.
You deserve better. Made up my mind...
My heart is dead, I'm carried above...
Will you forgive me, my stolen love?
If you want to feel precious
Honey bubbles to drink,
Let me sip from your heartache
Let me feel what you think.
To the point where there's no more
Reason to hide
I will kill all your pain-
I will crush it inside.
When you need to feel precious
Marmalade on your lips
And the softest of hands
Touching my hips
I would make you feel pure
Like the angel you are
Marmalade on your lips
Just like salt on my scar.
Come home to feel precious.
Uncover the tears.
Don't hide all the madness
Put it into gear.
Pour all of your anger
And guilt into me.
Let me sip from your heartache
And help you break free.
Do you long to feel precious?
Milk and sugar and breath
Like you long for the night
When it falls into death?
Cause I made you feel pure
Through the blue-read-white night.
Somehow you just turn cold
When the dark turns to light.
Come home to feel precious.
Uncover the tears.
Don't hide all the madness
Put it into gear.
Pour all of your anger
And guilt into me.
Let me sip from your heartache
And help you break free.
There is no good pain,
But all pain is good.
I shouldn't be sane,
But really I should.
There is no real love,
But only love's real.
There's no cure, no salve
But you seem to heal.
Take me to the place where it makes sense.
I have not been out there ever since
You and I have chosen the same path.
Now you know I'd give you my last breath.
I don't comprehend,
But it is all clear.
Don't give me a hand-
I'd rather die here.
The answers have come-
But we choose to go.
We feel worse than some,
But want to stay so.
Take me to the place where it makes sense.
I have not been out there ever since
You and I have chosen the same path.
Now you know I'd give you my last breath.
The blood understands what I feel.
It cries the tears I can't cry.
It kills the pain that I live-
Revives me whenever I die.
The blood- it shows me my pain.
I suffer: here is your proof.
I cope while staying alive-
I don't have to jump off the roof.
The blood can make me regret.
A punishment for all I've done.
Oh, please, let me drown in my blood
And never again see the sun.
If you will kill the precious sweetness of my sorrow
All that will remain will be a scar.
It will show you who I am,
It will show you who I've been
It will reflect the truth that hides in who you are.
If you will come a little closer- I will run.
If you will push a bit too far you know I'll break.
And I'll be seen as who I am
And I'll be watched as what I've been
And I'll be punished for my tragic big mistake.
And when I die- you know I'll die by my own hands.
And when I go you'll know that I just couldn't deal.
And you will see me as I am:
A weak young girl- that's all I've been,
A foolish girl that simply didn't want to heal.
Don't deserve the hands I cut.
Don't deserve the tears I cry.
Don't deserve the strong relief.
Painlessly my eyes are shut.
Painfully my eyes are dry.
No more feelings- no belief.
Don't deserve the air I breath.
Don't deserve the food I eat.
Don't deserve the hate I hold.
Uselessly I pray for death.
Usefully I burn with heat.
No more pain- it is controlled.
Don't deserve the flesh I bite.
Don't deserve the bones I break.
I'm but the guilt that I contain.
Shamelessly don't try to fight.
Shamefully I make mistakes.
No more numbness- I feel pain.
Chose for yourself
That path you will follow,
But don't follow others
Because you're afraid.
I was trouble for you
But now I'm a bother
-well, don't bother.
Let yourself look
At the things you have done
And say they are good
-it's no sin.
I was humble one time
But I'm selfish today
-just don't look at me.
Stretch and you'll see
A color goes over my tears-
It's the color of hate.
I'm the color of blindness
I'm the color of arrogance
I'm the color of spotlight searching morons.
Don't be a color-
Be a person.
Know who you are
Not what you represent.
Don't be a judge
And don't let others judge you
Please, stay safe.
No matter what they say
No matter how long
Or how far is the way
I'll be there hanging on.
No matter what they say
I'll complete the mission.
No matter what they do
You're still my religion.
If believing means giving
Your happiness.
If obeying means paying
With loneliness.
If not to win is a sin,
Than I've sinned many times-
But you're still my religion.
If believing means forgiving
Each and every time.
If committing means admitting
Each and every crime.
If to fail is to be pail,
Than I'm white as the snow-
But you're still my religion.
If believing means leaving
My life behind.
If to slave means to behave
'Cause you're true and kind.
If to lose means to be bruised,
Than I'm scared and bleeding-
But you're still my religion.
No matter what the say
No matter how long
Or how far is the way
I'll be there hanging on.
No matter what they say
I'll complete the mission.
No matter what they do
You're still my religion.
It's dangerous to fight a part of you
You might lose yourself in the battle.
Oh! How I wish I only knew
The score I want to settle.
It's dangerous to fight a part of you
The part of you that rules.
To think I'll have to cope alone-
I might not have the tools...
It's dangerous to be yourself
When you don't know who you are.
The path I chose was the wrong path
And now I've gone too far.
It's dangerous to fight the part of you
That tells you what to chose.
What would I do if I would win?
It's easier to lose.
Look at the sad girl
Look at the poor girl
Judge her now-
At her lowest tide.
Look at her crawling
Look at her falling
Into her hole
Of addicting sight.
Observe her weak hands:
No grip, as she stands.
Her mask on the ground
revealing her fraud.
The shame in her eyes-
She's living for lies,
She's starving to feed
The cruelest of Gods.
She's begging to feel
Excepted and real.
She looks for a sign,
But can't find a hint.
So she falls deeper yet,
And tries to forget...
So look at her, lost
In death's labyrinth.
I walk through endless halls
In search for something pure.
I grab my past, which falls,
But now I'm not so sure:
The things I used to be,
The things I have become,
It's meaningless to me,
And I have now grown numb.
I listen to the sound,
Don't know what to believe.
What is the truth around
The things I must achieve:
The sore and painful past,
Or what I feel today?
I hope life is the last
Price I have to pay.
