Show love People with EDs usually do not love themselves. Further more- their self-hatred controls their lives. The probably believe they are ugly, stupid, have no talent, take space in the world. You should show them it is not so. Show them love and respect. Tell them all the things you love about them, all the things they are good and talented at. Please, tell them the truth- what you really think, and do not exaggerate in telling them how wonderful they are. It will be hard enough for them to believe they are good in SOMETHING- telling them they are perfect will only make them think you are lying and they cannot trust you. I'm telling you in advance, they will not believe you, especially not in the beginning. But if many people tell them the truth many times, it will slowly sink in. Be patient, and know from the beginning it will take a lot of time, a lot of effort, and mostly - a lot of love, to convince them, even a little bit, that they are not worthless.

Do not be disgusted Maybe you find throwing up, eating compulsively, or being as skinny as a stick disgusting. Well, please remember that the person involved is someone you care about. I myself, used to think throwing up is disgusting. I never thought I'd get to a point where I'd EVER make myself vomit, not to mention do it 7 times a day. Believe me, when your inside this horrible thing called an eating disorder, there are no limits to what you can do to try and control your emotions. So please, try and understand, or at least accept, the things we do. Many times a people with eating disorders feel bad enough about the things they do. You should show them they are NOT disgusting, in spite of what they do. Hug them, comfort them, show them your love. Be there for them.

Listen if they want to talk It is so hard to open up about these disorders. They will talk to you only if they really trust you, so please, do not betray that trust. Be there to listen, and try to understand what they are saying. There is no better way to try and understand your loved one, than to hear what they have to say, what they feel, what they think and how they hurt.

Do not push them to talk Like I said, it is very hard to open up about this, so if a person has trouble talking about their problem, please do not push to hard. It's ok to try and make them talk, but don't be aggressive, don't make them think they HAVE to talk. If you see they don't want to discuss it, leave the issue.

Urge them to get help Your loved one needs and deserves help. The sooner they will get it, the better. But problem is, they may not realize it, and may not think they deserve help. Try to show them they need help, and help them get the help they need. You may want to find out about treatment programs in your area. Be prepared to the fact your loved one may see treatment as a threat. Remind them you are on their side, and you just want to help them be happy, as they deserve to be.

And finally: Take care of yourself In all of what happens to your loved one, don't forget yourself. This must be very stressing to you, and I know from experience that sometimes it's harder to be the loved one of a sufferer, than the sufferer herself. You may want to get professional help for yourself as well as your loved one. It will help you understand their situation, and deal with it. Don't neglect yourself. Being there for a person with an ED is very hard and very exhausting. Take care of YOU.

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