Sano whistled brightly, his hands in his pockets. It was a good day. He'd spent the morning flirting with the foxy doctor under the guise of getting his hand checked, and now he was on his way to see Misao. He was fond of Misao, more so than he'd admitted. It pissed him off that Shinomori was playing with her emotions the way he was...but a confrontation would only hurt Misao more, so he hadn't done anything about it.

Except to try and cheer her up. Usually his attempts to distract her worked, whether it was getting her to dress up in a kimono- And damn, isn't that a pretty sight?- or joking with her. It felt like he'd gained a younger sister to replace the one he'd left behind so many years ago...

"Sagara."

There was a figure standing in the road ahead of him, though Sano would have been willing to swear that no one had been there a few seconds ago. Inwardly, he smiled; he'd get his confrontation after all. About bloody time.

Sanosuke cocked his head to the side. "Well, well, if it isn't the icicle of the Oniwabanshuu himself. What a pleasure."

Shinomori raised an eyebrow; it was almost a threat.

Sano didn't flinch. "I know you're twice the fighter I am, Shinomori. It don't mean I'm afraid of you." Especially not while I'd love the chance to try and kick your ass...but Misao would kill me, especially if I tried it just before taking her out to dinner. Even I'm not that dumb about manners.

"Oh?"

Instead, he smirked. "You won't touch me. If only because you know that Misao would never forgive you if you did, not this time."

Shinomori's eyes narrowed. "What do you know about Misao?"

"I like her. She's got spunk. What I don't know is why she puts up with you."

He could see that the words hit close to home, though Shinomori's only reaction was a slight twitching around the eyes. "You should stay away from her."

Sanosuke smirked. "Jealous?"

Shinomori didn't answer.

"Yare yare," the gangster shrugged. "Not like it's any of your business anyway, right? All you've done since you got out here is make her feel unwanted. 'Bout time she had someone around who appreciates her."

Oh, that one really hit home, he could tell. Shinomori's entire face tightened, and he took a few steps forward, one hand clenched at his side. Sano didn't flinch or retreat, or even look away.

Shinomori's voice was low. "If you hurt her, I'll kill you."

Sano glared right back. "I'm not the one who's been hurting her."

Having said that, he walked right on by the other man, continuing towards the Kamiya Dojo. His whistling was brighter than ever.

Aoshi stood in the middle of the road in a daze.

I'm not the one who's been hurting her.

It was true. All he'd done since he arrived was hurt Misao... confuse her, bring her closer and then push her away again. Why didn't he just leave? He had no more reason to stay. He'd made certain she was all right- indeed, she'd been better off here than she'd been in Kyoto, at least ar first- he'd shown her where their friends were buried, he'd apologized...what was left?

Why couldn't he leave?

An image entered his mind: on his first day back in Kyoto, seeing her walk down the street...dressed, for the first time that he could remember, like any other girl. She'd looked so different, dressed that way...so much more mature, so quiet, so unlike the mischevious girl who ran circles around everyone else at the Aoiya...as though she were a stranger, instead of his Misao...

...his?

A image appeared in his mind, unbidden...Misao, her head tilted backwards and her eyes closed. Sunlight spotted her face, filtered through the trees and highlighting a place on her forehead, one of her eyes, part of her mouth...

He shook his head slightly.

I don't own her. She can do whatever she wants- lead the Oniwabanshuu, quit and be like any other girl, whatever she wants. I have no right to interfere with anything she does.

But the image of her in a kimono, looking so completely unlike the girl he thought he knew, troubled him...what if she did leave the Oniwabanshuu? What if she stayed in Tokyo to try and live a normal life?

True, she had said herself that she would never do that...but she had seemed so happy with Kamiya and the others...with Sagara...

He cut that thought off before it had a chance to fully form.

If she ever did leave, the Aoiya would be so empty without her... his own life would be...

He cut that thought off, too; it took more effort.

I have to talk to her. But she was busy, she had plans for the evening with...Sagara...the idea was bitter in his mind. I have no right to interfere. I won't. I just want to talk to her...

Afterwards, then. When she gets back.

Misao was troubled.

She'd tried to have a good time, she really did, and sometimes she forgot herself enough to laugh and not think about...things. But throughout the entire evening, in the back of her mind, her head was spinning.

Thoughts about Aoshi...thoughts about herself...Kaoru's light-hearted teasing about her and Sano...the way other people had been staring at her, as though they couldn't believe such a sweet looking girl was swearing as much as her almost-rude companion, even if it was teasing...

The end of the matter was that Misao's head hurt from so much thinking. The fact that she was dressed up in a kimono again wasn't helping; it only made her feel more unlike herself. All at once she was longing to be eight years old again...back at home in Kyoto, not caring what anybody thought of her, Aoshi still home and happy...Where did all that go? When did I grow up?

"You're not fulfilling your side of the deal, pretty," Sano said, interrupting her brooding. "You forgot about the smiling part."

She looked ruefully up at him. "Sorry, Sano. I just...I guess I'm just...confused," she finished helplessly. "I don't know."

"Shinomori?" he asked, not unkindly.

"Only partly. Mostly it's just...well, who am I, Sano?"

He looked down at her curiously. "Whaddya mean?"

She kicked at a pebble in the road. "Don't you think I'm...well, weird?"

"Nope."

She hadn't expected that answer. "But- Sano, you saw how all those guys were looking at me! I might look like a proper Japanese girl right now, but I'm now. I gamble with you, I swear, I carry weapons around with me all the time and I know how to use them, I'm happier climbing around on rooftops and sleeping outside than I could ever be settling down and having kids, I-"

"Whoa, whoa!" Sanosuke stopped walking and placed his hands on her shoulders, looking down at her. "Misao, what brought this on?"

To her horror, her eyes were filling with tears, She scrubbed them away with one of her sleeves, not able to meet his gaze.

"Shinomori, then." A bit less kindly.

For some reason she wanted to defend Aoshi, even if he'd been acting strange lately. "No, not really, Sano, truly. It's just that I've been thinking...I mean, I came here on vacation partly to get away from him, yes, but also because I was feeling...lost." They'd started walking again, slowly. "Technically I'm the leader of the Oniwabanshuu now. Well, only sort of technically; girls aren't supposed to be allowed to lead them at all, and we're supposed to be disbanded, but...after what Aoshi-sana did, before...I just wanted to try and make things right. We were all so shocked that he'd attacked Jiya...I couldn't let everything fall apart, you know? So I said that now I was the leader and they'd all have to follow me. And it worked!" Pride welled up in her, hot and furious. "It worked! We were a group again, even though Aoshi-sama was gone and Jiya was wounded. I just didn't think it would last...after he came back, and Jiya recovered, I thought one of them would take charge again and everything would be okay. But it didn't happen like that."

There silence for a minute. "What did happen?"

Misao frowned, trying to find words. "Aoshi-sama wouldn't take back the position. Actually, I barely ever even saw him...we didn't talk much. I kept trying to tell myself that he was hurt and confused, but...I wanted him back. Not just as Okashira- he's a good leader, we all still believe that- I wanted him back just as...one of us. But he kept staying away." The tears were welling up again. "I know that he's not the same person he was before he left, I know that...but, we all still care about him, and it's like he doesn't want to let us."

"So you were in charge. What about Okina?"

"He said he was too old, but that he was proud of me and thought I could do it. He said he'd help. But, Sano...I had no idea what I was doing. What do I know about being a leader?" She was trying so hard to find the words, to explain how lost and disillusionized she'd been when she left...it helped that he was listening to quietly, letting her flounder. "But finally I just couldn't do it anymore. I'm not ready for that, Sano. I don't know that I ever will be. So I left. I thought that maybe I could come to Tokyo and get away from it all for a while and try to figure out everything."

They walked in silence for several more minutes, and reached the Kamiya Dojo. It was late; no one else was up, not even Kenshin, and the house was dark. Without saying a word they both walked towards the backyard, not quite willing to let the evening end yet.

Misao sat in the grass and stared up at the moon, thoroughly depressed and feeling a bit guilty for dumping everything on Sano. She was trying to think of a way to apologize to him when he asked her something. "Why do'y think you're weird again?

She looked over at him, amazed. "Sano, I gamble, I fight, I dress like a ninja-"

"You are a ninja," he interrupted, smiling.

"Well, yeah, exactly! What kind of girl am I, Sano?" She kicked at the ground moodily, wishing she had her own shoes instead of geta. "Even when I'm dressed like a girl, I don't act like one. No wonder Aoshi-sama's not interested in me." She bit her lip, remembering the conversation she'd had with him two nights before. My entire life I have been ninja, surrounded by other ninja. There is nothing else I know, nothing else I could do...nothing else I'd ever wanted to. And that's true, I can't change that. I wouldn't if I could. But...who's gonna ever want a ninja weasel-girl like me? She sighed.

"You so sure he wants a normal girl?"

She blinked. "Well, shouldn't he?"

Sano shrugged. "Maybe; maybe not. But you're being too hard on yourself, weasel. Who knows what that icicle is thinking?"

"But there's something I never told anyone else, Sano," Misao said quietly. "When I saw the end of the fight between him and Jiya, that time...he told me to go, and to never show my face to him again." She bit her lip. "He doesn't need me, Sano. He won't even talk to me. I don't know why he came from Kyoto to Tokyo, but I know it can't have been because of me."

"Did you know that he confronted me on my way over here earlier and told me that if I hurt you in any way, he'd rip my heart out of my chest?"

Misao was stunned beyond measure. Sano's eyes twinkled at her. "Look, weasel-girl, I know that you're not sure how you feel about him. But he's definitely got feelings for you. I dunno what's going through his head- probably feels guilty about stuff he's done in the past." The ex-gangster shook his head in disgust. "Him and Kenshin, geez. Anyway, if he asks you for a chance, maybe you should try and give it to him. That's not so hard, is it?"

I hadn't even thought about that... she thought absently. I hadn't even thought that maybe he felt so guilty about what he did to me that he couldn't face me. Maybe that's it. It'd be just like him, the idiot! The realization of it was so great that she almost couldn't breathe. Is it possible? Could it really be possible?

No, it can't be, it just couldn't be...

But in her mind it was so easy to see it...the way Aoshi had been when he showed the graves of their four friends, the pain, grief, and shame he had felt...the way he hadn't let her near it. What was he afraid of?

Oh, Aoshi-sama...don't you see? You don't have to prove anything to me. You never did...

Sano stood up, dusting off his pants. "Che. Probably get grass stains all over these."

Her attention snapped back to him; the retort was automatic. "That's what you get for going around in white, rooster." She grinned. "Maybe you can ask Megumi-sensei to clean them for you."

He raised an eyebrow at the suggestive note in her voice. "You're dreaming, weasel. It's time I left, though. You've got a lot to think about."

She nodded, slowly, then got to her feet. Before he had a chance to protest she had launched herself at him, wrapping her arms around his waist and hugging him. "Hey, Sano...thanks."

He hugged her back. "No problem, pretty. Just keeping smiling and we'll call it even, okay?"

She nodded. "Uhn!"

"Sweet dreams, weasel-girl." Sano kissed her easily on the forehead. "I'll see you tomorrow." He turned and walked away, his hands thrust into his pockets, whistling.

Misao blushed slightly, but grinned after him. That baka, she thought. He insults me one minute and is nice to me the next. I guess it's his way of showing that he cares, though. He teases Kaoru and Yahiko all the time, not to mention Megumi...

Misao smiled a bit sadly at that thought. She liked Sanosuke very much. He was fun to tease- and very cute, she had to admit. Under other circumstances...perhaps something might have happened. But she had seen the way he looked at Megumi whenever he thought no one was watching him, and could guess where his feelings really were. Just as he knew where hers were. So the game between them was just that: a game, and not something that would go further. Whatever Kaoru thought.

She didn't mind, though. It was nice to have someone to play such games with, and Sano was already one of the best friends she'd ever had. He was rough and rude, but then, so was she. And every so often, he would say something so observant that she'd be completely surprised. There was much more to him than he usually let on; Megumi would be a lucky woman, if they ever stopped being idiots and let each other know how they felt.

Like you and Aoshi-sama?

Her smile faded. With a start, she shook off the sudden feeling of melancholy. I refuse to worry about it any more tonight. It's been too nice an evening to spoil by fretting about that idiot any more than I already have. Her good mood had returned in full, and she relished it. She opened the door to the little shed where she'd been sleeping and stepped inside, shutting the door behind her.

She was just reaching up to pull the ribbon from her hair when she noticed the extra shadow leaning against the wall. She stared at it incredulously. "Aoshi-sama?" she asked, astonished.

The shadow moved into the moonlight. "Misao," he said simply.

"What are you doing here?" Misao demanded, covering up her confusion with annoyance. What the hell does he think he's doing now?

"Waiting for you."

"Why?"

"I wanted to talk to you."

"So talk." Misao knew she wasn't being very encouraging, but she was very tired of having to force answers out of him. Whenever they had any sort of conversation, she did all the work. This time, if he wanted to tell her something, he could do it without her help! She crossed her arms over her chest and waited, meeting his gaze without fear. Maybe Sano's right, maybe he just doesn't know what to say to me. But I can't help him if he doesn't give me any clues at all about what he wants. It's his move.

He was quiet for a few more minutes, watching her with a very strange expression in his eyes. He's never looked at me like that before. What's he thinking?

"What is there between you and Sagara Sanosuke?" he asked.

"What's it to you?" Misao fired back.

Aoshi's eyes flashed. Quick as lightning, he grabbed her wrist and used it to pull her towards him. Before she could even think of reacting, he had bent his head down and was pressing his lips against hers.

Huh?

He was kissing her. With all the passion she could have wished for, and a possessiveness she had never guessed at. She let out a small moan, grasping the front of his shirt in her hands to pull him closer and parting her lips. His tongue slipped between them and darted at hers. His hands moved up and practically ripped the ribbon from her hair, then buried themselves in her scalp. He kissed her again, and again, and again, as though trying to claim her with his mouth.

Her head was spinning, and her knees felt as though they wouldn't be able to support her weight for too much longer. With a small gasp she broke off kissing him and ran her lips along his neck and jaw, clinging to the front of his shirt. I can't believe this is happening... Her mouth found an unexpectedly responsive spot just below his ear, and smiled as he caught his breath. She felt him freeze and then shiver as she breathed out slowly on that spot.

With a low cry he caught her by the waist, crushing her against him. One of his hands held her there as the other began fumbling with her obi, struggling to get it untied. Meanwhile his lips reclaimed hers, kissing her even more hungrily than before. She wrapped her arms around his neck, her fingernails digging into his upper back and shoulders.

The obi came undone and fell to the ground, and her kimono opened in front. His hands withdrew and then rewrapped themselves around her bare waist. She flinched, surprised by how cool they felt on her warm skin, and the kimono slipped off of her shoulders a bit. He trailed kisses from her mouth down her neck, and nibbled at the spot where neck met shoulder. She moaned, closing her eyes and letting her head fall back. Aoshi ran his fingers along the curve of one of her breasts as he moved his mouth back towards her ear. "You're mine," he whispered between kisses, his voice hoarse. "Mine."

Inside, Misao was laughing. Now she knew, now she was sure, finally she was sure of him! Oh no, Aoshi-sama. You've got it backwards. You belong to me, and I'm going to make damn sure you don't forget it!

She pushed down gently on his shoulders and he went to his knees, his mouth sliding from her throat to her breasts. His hands moved up to her shoulders, pushing the kimono over them. It slipped to the ground, leaving Misao wearing absolutely nothing. Annoyed at the inequality between them- how had he managed to get all her clothes off, and none of his own?- she began hauling his shirt over his head. He shrugged out of it, complying with her wishes, and she sank down into his embrace, kissing him again as she ran her hands along his arms and pressed her chest against his.

She pushed him down onto his back, laying herself on top of him. His hands traced circles fitfully all over her body while she moved her mouth along his skin, taking cues from his breathing and lingering on certain spots. She flicked her tongue over one of his nipples, and that undid him. With a grunt, he rolled over, trapping her beneath him. His weight pressed against her as he joined their mouths together again. One of his hands wrapped itself in her hair, and the other moved between them and traveled slowly down her skin. His fingers reached the top of her thigh, paused- then slipped between.

Misao gasped as warmth spread through her entire body, focused on that one spot between her legs. All at once she was desperate for breath, overwhelmed by both pleasure and need, and a little pain. Her hands clutched frantically at his shoulders, and a few tears slipped down her face.

He noticed and paused, his body frozen with tension. "Misao?"

She ignored the doubt she heard and hauled his mouth back down to hers, kissing him passionately. "Just shut up," she whispered against his lips, moving encouragingly against him and swearing by every god she'd ever heard of that if he pulled away from her this time, she was going to kill him.

Aoshi stared at the ceiling, his mind curiously blank. He was lying on his back, arms crossed behind his head. There was a blanket loosely covering him. Him- and the girl at his side.

What have I done?

He had always prided himself on his self-control...his ability to make decisions and act on them without letting his emotions get in the way.

Where had that control gone tonight, when he'd most needed it?

He rolled over, leaning on his elbow and looking down at the girl who lay sleeping next to him. Misao was curled snugly on her side, with a small smile on her face. Her hair was pooled around her, and Aoshi absently picked up a few long strands and rubbed them between his fingers as he thought.

I've betrayed her again, he realized with a twinge of grief. I should never have come here tonight...should never have left the Aoiya at all. I had no idea this would happen, I never meant...

Misao shifted in her sleep, letting out a small sigh. Aoshi was both startled and touched by how completely at ease she was. Her skin was silvery in the moonlight, her hair shining with blue overtones. All at once he realized how delicate her features were- the pointed nose and chin, the long eyelashes. He'd rarely seen anything so beautiful.

He brushed Misao's hair lightly against his lips, marveling yet again at how long it was. Perhaps, I did mean...

Something will have to be done about this. I can't stand off to the side and pretend that I don't care anymore. I have to decide.

One way or another.

naifun: Internal strife/storm in a teacup. (isn't that a great mental image? Something so turbulant, contained inside something so fragile and commonplace...)