Dain bramaged
Eat Well, Stay Fit, Die Anyway
Body by Nautilus; brain by Mattel
Boldly going nowhere
CAUTION - Driver legally blonde!
Heart Attacks...God's Revenge for Eating His Animal Friends
He's not dead, he's electroencephalographically challenged
Honk if you've never seen an Uzi fired from a car window!
How many roads must a man travel down before he admits he is lost?
Axe me about Ebonics
CATS: The other white meat
Don't be sexist - broads hate that
I'm an imbecile and I vote
Money Isn't Everything... But it Sure Keeps the Kids In Touch
If you lived in your car, you'd be home by now
Saw it... Wanted it... Had a fit... Got it!
WARNING! Driver only carries $20.00 in ammunition
Could you drive any better if I shoved that cell phone up your ass!?
If you can read this, I can slam on my brakes and sue you!
Your gene pool needs a little chlorine.
You're just jealous because the voices are talking to me not you!
Don't piss me off! I'm running out of places to hide the bodies.
JESUS SAVES...He Passes It To Gretzky...Gretzky Shoots...He Scores!
You are depriving some poor village of its IDIOT
Save Your Breath...You'll need it to blow up your date!
Forget world peace. Visualize using your turn signal.
Grow your own dope, plant a man.
All Men Are Animals, Some Just Make Better Pets.
Some people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.
I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
WANTED Meaningful overnight relationship.
BEER It's not just for breakfast anymore.
I need someone really bad...Are you really bad?
Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
All men are idiots....I married their king.
The more you complain, the longer God makes you live.
IRS We've got what it takes to take what you've got.
Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now.
Reality is a crutch for people who can't handle drugs.
Out of my mind...Back in five minutes.
Hang up and drive.
Smile, it's the second best thing you can do with your lips.
I took an IQ test and the results were negative.
Where there's a will...I want to be in it.
It's lonely at the top, but you eat better.
We are born naked, wet, and hungry....Then things get worse.
Consciousness, that annoying time between naps.
Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
Uh, ever stop to think and, uh...........
Be nice to your kids...They will pick out your nursing home.
Always remember you're unique...Just like everyone else.
Honk If You Want To See My Finger.
Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
I love cats...they taste just like chicken
Cover me. I'm changing lanes.
As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools
Happiness is a belt-fed weapon
Laugh alone and the world thinks you're an idiot.
Sometimes I wake up grumpy; other times I let her sleep
I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather.... ...Not screaming
and yelling like the passengers in his car....
Montana --- At least our cows are sane!
I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a
vegetarian.
Your kid may be an honor student but you're still an IDIOT!
It's as BAD as you think, and they ARE out to get you.
When you do a good deed, get a receipt, in case heaven is like the
IRS.
Smile, it's the second best thing you can do with your lips.
Friends don't let Friends drive Naked.
Wink, I'll do the rest!
I took an IQ test and the results were negative.
Okay, who stopped the payment on my reality check?
If we aren't supposed to eat animals, why are they made of meat?
Time is the best teacher; Unfortunately it kills all its students!
Reality? That's where the pizza delivery guy comes from!
Warning: Dates in Calendar are closer than they appear.
Give me ambiguity or give me something else.
Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot.
He who laughs last thinks slowest.
Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes.
Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be happy.
I souport publik edekasion
The sex was so good that even the neighbors had a cigarette.
We are Microsoft. Resistance Is Futile. You Will Be Assimilated.
3 kinds of people: those who can count & those who can't.
Why is 'abbreviation' such a long word?
Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie!'... till you can find a
rock.
I like you, but I wouldn't want to see you working with subatomic
particles.
I killed a 6-pack just to watch it die.
Sex on television can't hurt you unless you fall off.
I'm a corporate executive, I keep things from happening.
Linx
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