A realistic friend's oath...

When you are sad,.............

I will get you drunk and help you plot revenge against the scum sucking bastard who made you sad.

When you are scared,.........

I will laugh at you and tease you about it every chance I get.

When you are worried,.........

I will tell you how much worse it could be and to quit complaining.

When you are confused,........

I will use little words to explain it to your dumb ass.

And when you are lost,........

I will answer my cell phone and give you directions.

When you are sick.........

I will hold your hair while you pay homage to the porcelain god.

When you fall......

I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass.

This is my oath...............I pledge till the end.

Why you may ask? Because you're my friend!!!!!!!