Index of Popular Fallacies
POPULAR FALLACIES
At what precise minute
that little airy musician doffs his night gear, prepares to tune
up his unseasonable matins, we are not naturalists enough to determine.
But for a mere human gentleman -- that has no orchestra business
to call him from his warm bed to such preposterous exercises --
we take ten, or half after ten (eleven, of course, during this
Christmas solstice), to be the very earliest hour, at which he
can begin to think of abandoning his pillow. To think of it, we
say; for to do it in earnest, requires another half hour's good
consideration. Not but there are pretty sun-risings, as we are
told, and such like gawds, abroad in the world, in summer time
especially, some hours before what we have assigned; which a gentleman
may see as they say, only for getting up. But, having been tempted
once or twice, in earlier life, to assist at those ceremonies,
we confess our curiosity abated. We are no longer ambitious of
being the sun's courtiers, to attend at his morning levees. We
hold the good hours of the dawn too sacred to waste them upon
such observances; which have in them, besides, something Pagan
and Persic. To say truth, we never anticipated our usual hour,
or got up with the sun (as `tis called), to go a journey, or upon
a foolish whole day's pleasuring, but we suffered for it all the
long hours after in listlessness and headachs; Nature herself
sufficiently declaring her sense of our presumption, in aspiring
to regulate our frail waking courses by the measures of that celestial
and sleepless traveller. We deny not that there is something sprightly
and vigorous, at the outset especially, in these break of day
excursions. It is flattering to get [p 270] the start of
a lazy world; to conquer death by proxy in his image. But the
seeds of sleep and mortality are in us; and we pay usually in
strange qualms, before night falls, the penalty of the unnatural
inversion. Therefore, while the busy part of mankind are fast
huddling on their clothes, are already up and about their occupations,
content to have swallowed their sleep by wholesale; we chose to
linger a-bed, and digest our dreams. It is the very time to recombine
the wandering images, which night in a confused mass presented;
to snatch them from forgetfulness; to shape, and mould them. Some
people have no good of their dreams. Like fast feeders, they gulp
them too grossly, to taste them curiously. We love to chew the
cud of a foregone vision to collect the scattered rays of a brighter
phantasm, or act over again, with firmer nerves, the sadder nocturnal
tragedies; to drag into day-light a struggling and half-vanishing
night-mare; to handle and examine the terrors, or the airy solaces.
We have too much respect for these spiritual communications, to
let them go so lightly. We are not so stupid, or so careless,
as that Imperial forgetter of his dreams, that we should need
a seer to remind us of the form of them. They seem to us to have
as much significance as our waking concerns; or rather to import
us more nearly as more nearly we approach by years to the shadowy
world whither we are hastening. We have shaken hands with the
world's business; we have done with it; we have discharged ourself
of it. Why should we get up? we have neither suit to solicit,
nor affairs to manage. The drama has shut in upon us at the fourth
act. We have nothing here to expect, but in a short time a sick
bed, and a dismissal. We delight to anticipate death by such shadows
as night affords. We are already half acquainted with ghosts.
We were never much in the world. Disappointment early struck a
dark veil between us and its dazzling illusions. Our spirits showed
grey before our hairs. The mighty changes of the world already
appear as but the vain stuff out of which dramas are composed.
We have asked no more of life than what the mimic images in play-houses
present us with. Even those types have waxed fainter. Our clock
appears to have struck. We are SUPERANNUATED. In this dearth of
mundane satisfaction, we contract politic alliances with shadows.
It is good to have friends at court. The abstracted media of dreams
seem no ill introduction to that spiritual presence, upon which,
in no long time, we expect to be thrown. We are trying to know
a little of the usages of that colony; to learn the language,
and the faces we shall meet with there, that we may be the less
awkward at our first coming among them. We willingly call a phantom
our fellow, as knowing we shall soon be of their dark companionship.
[p 271] Therefore, we cherish dreams. We try to spell in
them the alphabet of the invisible world; and think we know already,
how it shall be with us. Those uncouth shapes, which, while we
clung to flesh and blood, affrighted us, have become familiar.
We feel attenuated into their meagre essences, and have given
the hand of half-way approach to incorporeal being. We once thought
life to be something; but it has unaccountably fallen from us
before its time. Therefore we choose to dally with visions. The
sun has no purposes of ours to light us to. Why should we get
up?