How to combine
The X-Files
and
the Silly Season
Yes, it's that time again. Don't you just love it?! Is it just me or do Chrissie sales advertising start earlier every year? Time to do the annual hunt for someone who'll stock the limited edition (ie one year) desktop diary, time to wonder if someone would accept a limited edition desktop diary with droplets of drool on the cover. In Australia, Christmas means it's as hot as hell and we have summer non-ratings TV, which almost always means no X-Files. Not even repeats. Geez those bastards at Ch 10 are slack. What happened to the spirit of the season?
...For Yanks, it's a different matter. They GET new ep's, altho' apparently 1013 productions take a week off to celebrate the New Year. They even get Chrissie-based eps on time. For the USA, the episode on the same time as Christmas was:
Christmas seems to be a bad time for The X-Files. Season 3 is the only one I'd hang around for! P'haps the forces at work are too distracted by the lure of plum puddding.
However....
just because CC & co. go to sleep at this time of year, it doesn't mean everyone does. Below are some X-Files/Christmas banners I've found around the place. (And don't forget mine, at the top of this page!) Clicking on the picture will take you to the site it's from.
"X Christmas" Wav (721 KB, runs for 1:07 mins...but worth the wait)
Can't be bothered waiting for that? Read my transcript of it.
The last thing X-Files/Christmas I can think of, is one of the sections in the book "The Extra-Terrestrials Guide to The X-Files" (published 1996 by Headline Book Publishing; by Mark Leigh and Mike Lepine. It's on p.76-77, and it's VERY VERY funny. In fact I recommend this book as a whole, it's a complete cack, representing Mulder & Scully at the extreme end of their natures (Mulder believing eveerything he reads/hears/sees, Scully feeling anxiety over her height). I'm not going to copy it here but have a look at it if you at all can.
. .
This is not copyrighted by me. I don't know where its from or who it belongs to. Remember to keep your festive spirit, people. Enjoy.
Gillian Anderson: Hi, this is Gillian Anderson, Agent Dana Scully on the Kevin & Bean [??] Christmas album.
David Duchovny: I'm David Duchovny, Agent Fox Mulder from The X-Files. This holiday season, trust no one, not even Santa Claus.
GA: Mulder, Santa Claus isn't real. He's a folk legend, any eight-year-old child could tell you that.
DD: What about the poop, Scully?
GA: What poop?
DD: The crap, Scully, it was reindeer crap, you analyzed it yourself.
GA: So it's reindeer crap, reindeer do that too, you know.
DD: On the roof, Scully, how do you explain that?
GA: There could be a thousand explanations, maybe some kids put it up there as a prank. Maybe the reindeer ate Mexican.
DD: Alright, well then how do you explain what we found on that half-eaten plate of cookies?
GA: All we found were a few white beard hairs, Kenny Rogers could have been up here. We don't know, they could have come from anyone!
DD: No. Not just anyone. There's someone out there. Yes Dana, there is a Santa Claus.
GA: Oh Fox. Forget about that stuff. It's Christmas! Hey, I'm gonna buy your gift tonight, what do you want?
DD: The truth, Scully. All I want is the truth....and a pony.
NOROMO VALUES by Brianna L (noromo_values@start.com.au). Let me know if something looks wrong, or if you have comments, critisism, praise, suggestions.
Not in frames but table-heavy so Netscapers, tread lightly. Sitemap, disclaimer.
Spoiler free for Australian teev. Lawyers and Shippers, fuck off, everyone else, enjoy.
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