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        Here's my new attempt at the best darn Tales of the Gold Monkey episode guide available on the Web. Don't settle for imitations. Thanks to Lesley Pohl and Craig Nystrom for supplying me tapes so I could add credits (and of course see this wonderful show again after all these years). And now, not only can you relive these exciting adventures by reading the episode descriptions, you can read the text to the original scripts!!! That's right, I've purchased all the original scripts and with lots of help from Lesley Pohl and Leanne Shawler (and a little help from yours truly), I've uploaded them to this site and linked them to the episode title here. The size of the file is listed in brackets. Plus as an added bonus, you can read three early scripts that were never produced. I don't know why they weren't made, but my guess is that they were too elaborate to film for a weekly series. Happy reading!! All episodes are one hour unless otherwise noted. The titles and original broadcast dates are accurate. (All dates are from ABC's first telecast.) Note: All opinions expressed in this guide are that of Patricia Annino and no one else. If you don't like them, TOUGH! Write your own episode guide! REGULAR
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Lady From a Colder
Clime [70K] (written 25-Jun-1982)
Writer: Andrew Schneider,
Paul Savage
Jake tries to help a beautiful woman professing to be Anastasia
Romanov, heir to the Russian throne, prove her claim. To do this, they must find
a Russian priest allegedly living on an island inhabited by cannibals. Num-num,
Jake stew!
Visions From the
Past [78K] (written 3-Aug-1982)
Writer: George Geiger, Sheldon
Chad, Donald R. Boyle
While coming to the aid of a sinking ship, Jake meets a
woman who's a dead ringer for his lost love. However, she's not what she
pretends to be. Yes, Jake's hormones get him into trouble again.
River to the
Past [71K] (written 22-Nov-1982)
Writer: Steve Zito
A
rewritten version of "Visions From the Past". More than 3 months and a different
writer still didn't make a difference and get this story on the
air.
Pilot [119K]
(22-Sep-1982) - 2 hours
Special Guest Star: John
Hillerman
Writer: Donald P. Bellisario
Director: Ray
Austin
Jake meets Sarah (Not exactly love at first sight. She brains him with
a bottle of champagne.) and helps her with her mission to stop the Nazis, led by
the evil Fritz (John "Higgins" Hillerman), from retrieving the legendary Gold
Monkey. Worth watching if only to see John Hillerman, with monocle and goofy,
German accent, pistol-whip Jack. Nazis viciously attacking innocent dogs!!
Boo...hiss!!! Also interesting is Ron Moody's portrayal of Louie, a striking
contrast to Roddy McDowall's.
Shanghaied [68K]
(29-Sep-1982)
Guest Star: Guy Stockwell
Writer: Donald P.
Bellisario
Director: Alan J. Levi
Corky is shanghaied by a
mysterious man with a hook for a hand to repair his ship. So Jake sets out to
find him while battling a nasty case of malaria (as opposed to pleasant case of
malaria). This episode was never broadcast on the USA Network, but instead was
hacked together with 'Trunk from the Past' and syndicated as the movie, "Curse
at the Gold Monkey" (always erroneously listed as "Curse of the Gold Monkey".
Both titles are pretty stupid, if you ask me.).
Black Pearl
[65K] (13-Oct-1982)
Guest Stars: Cliff Potts, Bo Brundin, Kai Wulff,
Barrie Ingham
Writer: Dennis Capps and George Geiger & Bob Foster
& Paul Savage & Donald P. Bellisario
Director: Victor
Lobl
Those evil Nazis are at it again; this time, attempting to create the
atom bomb. Of course, mankind's only hope is the very busy, Mr. Cutter. Doesn't
this poor guy ever just kick back and relax? This episode introduces Cliff Potts
as agent Johnny Kimble. Also, pay close attention to the shark attack scene.
That stock footage looks like they lifted it straight from "Jaws". You knew
Steven Spielberg had to figure into this show somehow.
Legends Are
Forever [60K] (20-Oct-1982)
Guest Stars: William Lucking,
Badja Djola
Teleplay: Milt Rosen and Reuben Leder and Donald P.
Bellisario
Story: Milt Rosen
Director: Virgil W.
Vogel
Jake's old Flying Tiger buddy, Gandy Dancer (William Lucking), talks
Jake into helping him transport medical supplies to a Watusi tribe and locate
the treasure of King Solomon's Mines. (Yes, this show IS set in the South
Pacific, not Africa.) It's great to see Louie actually get involved in the
action. I just hope this episode didn't inspire that insipid 1985 remake of
"King Solomon's Mines" starring Richard Chamberlain and Sharon Stone.
NOTE:
When this episode was originally telecast, this dedication was included at the
end, "This Program is Dedicated to the Memory of Director LARRY DOHENY
1924-1982".
Escape from Death
Island [69K] (27-Oct-1982)
Guest Stars: Gerry Gibson, Pierrino
Mascarino, Mickey Morton, Xander Berkeley, Reid Shelton
Writer: Peter
Elliot & Stephen Katz
Director: James Frawley
Jake and Corky
are held prisoner in a penal colony after helping a man attempt to rescue his
son. They soon discover that the prisoners are running the joint. Why they all
didn't just escape is beyond me. Maybe they wanted job security.
Trunk from the Past
[62K] (3-Nov-1982)
Guest Stars: Jared Martin, Richard
Eastham
Writer: John Pashdag & Brady Westwater
Director:
Christian I. Nyby II
Sarah first receives the Ancient Egyptian trunk that
her father was murdered upon and then a visit from her ex-fiance (Jared Martin),
who's searching for the temple of Amon-Ra. Jake seems far less afraid of
becoming a victim of the Pharaoh's curse than admitting his feelings for Sarah
and making a commitment. (Sigh)...men!
Note: The USA network never
aired this episode. See 'Shanghaied' for details.
Once a Tiger...
[66K] (17-Nov-1982)
Guest Stars: W.K. Stratton, Lance
LeGault
Writer: L. Ford Neal & John Huff
Director:
Winrich Kolbe
Jake sets out to rescue his nemesis from his Flying Tiger
days (Lance LeGault) and his important cargo. Interesting note: the original
title of this episode was 'Eye of the Tiger'. Now you can't get that damn
Survivor song out of your head, can you. "It's the eye of the tiger. It's the
thrill of the fight. Rising up to the challenge of our rival." H - E - L -
P!!!
The Lady and the
Tiger [63K] (8-Dec-1982)
Guest Stars: Anne Lockhart, Richard
Narita, Jerry Supiran
Writer: Donald P. Bellisario
Director:
Virgil W. Vogel
Jake crashes on a Japanese-held island, inhabited by
Amish and a tiger. (You know, this stuff sounds really inane when you actually
write it down.)
Note: This episode was originally interrupted in most
of the US when a terrorist with a truck full of explosives threatened to blow up
the Washington Monument in the name of nuclear disarmament (Yeah, you read it
right.). Some people have no respect for quality television.
Note 2:
This is the only episode in which Jake admits that his parents weren't married
and that he never knew his father. There's nothing wrong with that, as long as
nobody tells Dan Quayle (who bears a striking resemblance to Stephen Collins, or
am I the only one who's noticed?).
The Late Sarah
White [68K] (22-Dec-1982)
Guest Star: Nicholas
Pryor
Special Guest Star: Cliff Potts
Writer: Maryanne
Kasica & Michael Scheff and Donald P. Bellisario & George
Geiger
Director: Harvey Laidman
Jake sets out to Manila after he's
informed that Sarah has died from hepatitis while on a mission there. Cliff
Potts makes his second (and last) appearance as Johnny Kimble. So, let me get
this straight. Jake risks his life, saves Gen. MacArthur, and stops a civil war
from breaking out in the Philippines just because he can feel that Sarah's
alive? Why can't I meet a guy like that?
The Sultan of Swat
[68K] (5-Jan-1983)
Guest Stars: James Callahan, John DiSanti, Calvin
Jung, Jay Varela
Writer: David Brown
Director: Virgil W.
Vogel
Jake's boyhood idol, a Babe Ruth-type baseball player, is accused of
raping and killing a native girl (Nia Peeples). The original script (I have my
sources) was actually was pretty good, but for some reason, the character of
Sarah was hastily written out and the story that's left is pretty senseless.
Ape Boy [57K]
(12-Jan-1983)
Guest Stars: Shannon Sinutko, Michael Ensign, Bill
Cross, Charles Bartlett, Stefan Gierasch
Teleplay: Andrew Schneider
and Bill Driskill
Story: Eric Lerner and Bill Driskill
Director:
Winrich Kolbe
After making an emergency landing on a supposedly
uninhabited island, Jake and his merry friends discover a boy raised by apes.
Any resemblance to Tarzan, Bomba the Jungle Boy, et al, is purely
intentional.
There's a flashback sequence with no dialogue, just haunting
background music. This music was used as the opening theme for the pseudo-movie,
"Curse at the Gold Monkey" (see 'Shanghaied" for more info).
God Save the
Queen [75K] (19-Jan-1983)
Guest Stars: Kathryn Leigh Scott,
Charles Macaulay, Charles Smith, Roy Dotrice
Writer: George
Geiger
Director: Virgil W. Vogel
A British Lord attempts to steal
the Royal jewels and threatens to blow up the luxury liner, the Queen Victoria,
with the Duke of Windsor, Jake, Corky and Jack on board. Ladies, this episode is
only worth watching to see Jake trying to elude capture while wearing just a
towel. Be still my beating heart.
High Stakes Lady
[55K] (26-Jan-1983)
Guest Stars: Shelley Smith, Charles Napier, Aki
Aleong
Teleplay: Bill Driskill
Story: Lance Madrid III and
Bill Driskill
Director: James Frawley
Jake falls for a beautiful
and mysterious card sharp (Shelley Smith) who gets him involved in a high stakes
poker game and international intrigue. Sure, Jake finally tells a woman that he
loves her and, not only is it not Sarah, but she turns out to be a German spy.
Figures.
Force of Habit
[73K] (2-Feb-1983)
Guest Stars: Pamela Susan Shoop, Elizabeth Huddle,
Luke Askew
Teleplay: Tom Greene
Story: Tom Greene and
William Schmidt
Director: Harvey Laidman
Not to be confused with
the classic 1968 film, "Change of Habit", starring Elvis Presley and Mary Tyler
Moore. Jake's former girlfriend, now a novice nun, tries to recover stolen
vaccine meant for orphans (or something like that). I'm a little hazy on the
details, but you get the gist of it.
Cooked Goose [73K]
(4-Mar-1983)
Guest Stars: Sondra Currie, James Hampton
Writer:
Jay Huguely
Director: Donald A. Baer
A clipper co-pilot (James
Hampton, Pvt. Dobbs from "F-Troop") is left for dead and his new bride is
kidnapped and the evidence points to Princess Koji. This was the first episode
to not air in the "family hour" and the writers made the most of their freedom
with a risque hot tub sequence. I won't go into details. The cyberpolice may be
reading.
Last Chance
Louie [74K] (11-Mar-1983)
Guest Stars: Faye Grant, Jay
Robinson, Curt Lowens, Grace Zabriskie, Gerald Hiken, Henry
Darrow
Teleplay: Tom Greene & George Geiger
Story: Bob
Shayne
Director: James Fargo
Louie goes on trial for the murder of
a fellow former Legionnaire who deserted and collaborated with the Germans
during WWI. Jake and the man's daughter go to Saigon to find information to
clear Louie.
Fun Fact: Faye Grant, who plays Genevieve, later became
Mrs. Stephen Collins. At least it's a fun fact as long as they're still
married.
Naka Jima Kill
[68K] (18-Mar-1983)
Guest Stars: Michael Mullins, Sandy
Ward
Special Guest Star: Kim Cattrall
Teleplay: Andrew
Schneider and Tom Greene
Story: Thom Thomas and Andrew
Schneider
Director: Jack Whitman
Sarah's college roommate, Whitney
Bunting (Kim Cattrall), a newsreel reporter, arrives in the Marivellas to get an
interview with the Japanese Defense Minister, the recent subject of an
assassination attempt. Unfortunately, she'll go to any length, including putting
everybody's lives in danger, to get the job done. In the original story, it was
Hirohito, not the fictitious defense minister, who was being plotted against. I
don't know why they made the change. Perhaps it was because Hirohito was still
alive and they didn't want a copycat attempt.
Boragora or Bust
[79K] (25-Mar-1983)
Guest Stars: John Reilly, Gerald Hiken, John
McLiam
Writer: George Geiger & Tom Greene
Director: Ivan
Dixon
Jake's friend, an old prospector, discovers a platinum mine and within
days Boragora is crawling with would-be miners and a charming, yet devious
American businessman. I'm not usually into stunts, but there's a breathtaking
motorcycle jump in this episode.
A Distant Shout of
Thunder [75K] (8-Apr-1983)
Guest Stars: Jose De Vega, Michael
Cavanaugh
Writer: Tom Greene & George Geiger
Director:
James Fargo
All sorts of Exodus-type mayhem (plague of frogs, water
changing into "blood", etc.) occurs after Sarah inadvertently takes a statue of
the "fire god", Pele. Here's a TV rarity, a non-violent action show. The angry
natives try to sacrifice Sarah, not by throwing her into the volcano, but by
drugging her and politely asking her to jump. Then Jake saves her from this
bunch by reciting poetry!!! Sen. Paul Simon would be proud. FYI: Pele is
actually a goddess. Pele, Polynesian deity, is female. Pele, Brazilian soccer
player, is male.
Mourning Becomes
Matuka [76K] (1-Jun-1983)
Guest Stars: Alexa Hamilton, Sab
Shimono, Alex Colon, Marc Hayashi
Teleplay: Jay Huguely and Tom Greene
& George Geiger
Story: Jay Huguely
Director: David
Jones
Someone's trying to kill Princess Koji during her birthday celebration.
So she "persuades" Jake to act as her bodyguard (no Whitney Houston/Kevin
Costner jokes, please). O.K., so she blackmails him into doing it by threatening
to reveal Sarah as a spy. That's a form of persuasion, isn't it.
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