Once every century there comes along a person
So intellectually devoid
That there is a scientific imbalance
Between the hot and cold air flowing in said person's head.
It swirls, it twirls, it carries infant voices and clarinet riffs,
Until the person goes mad.
That person is Juliet Verni,
But her best friend Mary-Beth is the REAL danger.
For within Mary-Beth lies the biggest evil in the world,
The unknown evil, the unspoken evil, the unfathomable evil:
The desire to be a cheerleader.
Yes, cheerleaders suck. They suck imensely, they suck ass,
They suck the Boys Varsity Basket Ball team during half time.
I know, I've seen it. It is NOT a pretty sight.
And therefore, Mary-Beth sucks.
Her mouth's a living vacuum, and she's obsessed with guys in white lacy underwear.
But she's my best friend, and I hate her anyway.