"My penis is a finalist in the DMC World Championships."
"My penis is the meanest mother fucker on Venus."
"My penis is finger lickin' good."
"My penis is a public safety hazard."
"Nothing works harder on tough stains than my penis."
"My penis whittens teeth better than Rembrant."
"4 out of 5 doctors prefer my penis for major aches and pains."
"My penis is an essential part of a balanced breakfast."
"My penis will lead Poland to victory."
"Darwinism is based on my penis."
"My penis has the same properties as many organic fuel sources."
"My penis is a thermal detonator."
"If you play my penis backwards, you can hear a message from satan."
"My penis is one of the 8 pillars of Buddhism."
"My penis twitches when it sleeps."
"I can play 'Stairway To Heaven' with my penis."
"My penis is an illegal alien."
"I can lift skyscrapers with my penis."
"My penis is stronger than Kunta Kinte."
"At the time of World War II, the circumference of my penis was 7 inches."
"My penis has it's own area code."
"I move furniture with my penis."
"My penis plays Mozart better than I do."
"Penis and black raspberry ice cream are my favorite foods."
"My penis has a half life of 51 years."
"My penis has a British accent."
"Would you like some penis with your tea?"