A man visits a new watering hole and notices there is a monkey having the run of the place. This monkey is jumping up onto tables, drinking out of customers' bottles, eating chips and fries left behind, just getting into anything he wants. But when the animal scaled a pool table, he became fascinated with the cue ball. He picked it up, smelled it, then DEVOURED it.
The man, wanting to shoot a game of pool, went to the bartender to get a replacement cue ball. Turned out the bartender owns the monkey- claims the animal is really quite SMART, but a little rowdy. After shooting a couple games the man left.
A week later the man returned to the bar and saw the same monkey sitting next to a bowl of peanuts, and was amused to see what happened next... The monkey grabbed a peanut, examined it, raised up and stuck it up his ass, then pulled it out and ate it. This he repeated several times.
The man made a comment to the bartender about the 'stupid creature'- but then the bartender explained that the monkey was FAR from stupid; you see, ever since eating that cue ball, he SIZES everything FIRST...!