1.It's not a laugh to practice barking at 3a.m.

2. It's wrong to back Grandma into a corner and guard her.

3.He shouldn't jump on your bed when he's sopping wet.

4.The command "SHUT THE BLOODY F*%@ UP!" means just that

5. The cats have every right to be in the living room.

6. Crapping on the floor is not something deserving of a treat

7.Barking at guests 10 minutes after they arrive is stupid

8.No, we said SIT

9.I know its a nice leg, but don't ride it.

10. Getting up does NOT mean we are going for a walk

11. Just because I'm eating, doesn't mean you can.

12. If you look at me with those big soppy eyes, I'm not going to give in and feed you. NOT NOT NOT. Oh, ok, just this once.

13.No, it's my food....Oh alright then, just a small piece.