1:00 AM - Alarm clock rings.
2:00 AM - Hunting partner arrives, drags you out of bed.
2:30 AM - Throw everything except the kitchen sink into pickup.
3:00 AM - Leave for the deep woods.
3:15 AM - Drive back home to pick up gun.
4:00 AM - Set up camp, forgot the tent.
4:30 AM - Head for the woods.
6:05 AM - See eight deer.
6:06 AM - Take aim and squeeze trigger.
6:07 AM - Click...
6:08 AM - Load gun while watching deer go over hill.
8:00 AM - Head back to camp.
9:00 AM - Still looking for camp.
10:00 AM - Realize you don't know where camp is.
NOON - Fire gun for help, eat wild berries.
12:15 PM - Strange feeling in stomach.
12:30 PM - Realize you ate poison berries.
12:45 PM - Rescued.
12:55 PM - Rushed to hospital to have stomach pumped.
3:00 PM - Arrive back at camp.
3:30 PM - Leave camp to kill deer.
4:00 PM - Return to camp for bullets.
4:01 PM - Load gun, leave camp again.
5:00 PM - Empty gun on squirrel that is bugging you.
6:00 PM - Arrive at camp, see eight deer grazing in camp.
6:01 PM - Load gun.
6:02 PM - Fire gun.
6:03 PM - One dead pickup.
6:05 PM - Hunting partner arrives in camp dragging deer.
6:06 PM - Repress desire to shoot hunting partner.
6:07 PM - Fall into fire.
6:10 PM - Change clothes, throw burned ones into fire.
6:15 PM - Take pickup, leave hunting partner and his deer in camp.
6:25 PM - Pickup boils over, hole shot in block.
6:26 PM - Start walking.
6:30 PM - Stumble and fall, drop gun in mud.
6:35 PM - Meet bobcat.
6:36 PM - Take aim.
6:37 PM - Fire gun, blow up barrel plugged up with mud.
6:38 PM - Mess pants.
6:39 PM - Climb tree.
9:00 PM - Bobcat leaves, you wrap gun around tree.
MIDNIGHT - Home at last!!!

SUNDAY - Watch football game on television, slowly tearing up hunting license into small pieces. Place license in envelope and mail to the game department with detailed instruction.