If you kiss him right away, you're easy
If you don't, you are frigid

If you praise him often, he thinks you are just flattering him
If you don't, he thinks you are self-centered

If you agree to all his likes, you are submissive
If you don't, you are controlling

If you visit him often, he thinks you're desperate
If you don't, he thinks you're not interested

If you are well dressed, he thinks you are vain
If you don't, you're a Plain Jane

If you are jealous and watchful, he say's you're possessive
If you're not, then he fools around

If you attempt a romance, he sez you are smothering
If you don't, he thinks you are cold

If you are a minute late, he says you are inconsiderate
If he is late, and you mention it, he says you're impatient

If he is visited by another woman, he sez "Oh, we're just friends"
If you visit another man, you are fooling around

If you kiss him often, he thinks you're forward
If you kiss him only once in a while, he thinks you're too reserved

If he fails to help you with the "little things", he brings up the feminist movement
If he does, he expects to be rewarded

If you comment at his looking at another woman, he says you're jealous
If you are stared at by other men, you're flirting

If you talk, it's always too much
If you listen, it's never enough

In short:

So complex, yet so predictable
So macho, yet so sensitive (usually to their own feelings)
So confusing, yet so funny
but most of all, so damn irritating