Argument (ar*gyou*ment) n.-
A discussion that occurs when you're right, but he just hasn'trealized it yet.

Airhead (er*hed) n.-
What a woman intentionally becomes when pulled over by a policeman.

Bar-be-que (bar*bi*q) n-
You bought the groceries, washed the lettuce, chopped the tomatoes, diced the onions, marinated the meat and cleaned everything up, but, he, "made the dinner."

Blonde jokes (blond joks) n.-
Jokes that are short so men can understand them.

Cantaloupe (kant*e*lope) n-
Gotta get married in a church.

Childbirth (child*brth) n.-
You get to go through 36 hours of contractions; he gets to hold your hand and say "focus,...breath...push..."

Clothes dryer (kloze dri*yer) n.-
An appliance designed to eat socks.

Diet Soda (dy*it so*da) n.-
A drink you buy at a convenience store to go with a half pound bag of peanut M&Ms.

Eternity (e*ter*ni*tee) n.-
The last two minutes of a football game.

Exercise (ex*er*siz) v-
To walk up and down a mall, occasionally resting to make apurchase.

Grocery List (grow*ser*ee list) n.-
What you spend half an hour writing, then forget to take with you to the store.

Hair Dresser (hare dres*er) n.-
Someone who is able to create a style you will never be able to duplicate again. See "Magician."

Hardware Store (hard*war stor) n-
Similar to a black hole in space-if he goes in, he isn't coming out anytime soon.

Lipstick (lip*stik) n-
On your lips, coloring to enhance the beauty of your mouth. On his collar, coloring only a tramp would wear...!

Park (park) v./n.-
Before children, a verb meaning, "to go somewhere and neck." After children, a noun meaning a place with a swing set and slide.

Patience (pa*shens) n.-
The most important ingredient for dating, marriage and children. See also "tranquilizers."

Waterproof Mascara (wah*tr*pruf mas*kar*ah) n.-
Comes off if you cry, shower, or swim, but will not come off if you try to remove it.

Valentine's Day (val*en*tinez dae) n.-
A day when you have dreams of a candlelight dinner, diamonds, and romance, but consider yourself lucky to get a card.