The first line is what women say. The second is what they mean.

You want.                              
........You want.

We Need.
........I want. 

It's your decision.                      
........The correct decision should be obvious by now. 

Do what you want.
........You'll pay for this later.   

We need to talk.
........I need to complain. 

Sure...go ahead.                       
........I don't want you to. 

I'm not upset.   
........Of course I'm upset, you moron.   

You're...so manly.
........You need a shave and you sweat a lot.   

You're certainly attentive tonight.                       
........Is sex all you ever think about?

I'm not emotional! And I'm not overreacting!             
........I'm on my period.

Be romantic, turn out the lights.                                
........I have flabby thighs.

This kitchen is so inconvenient.                           
........I want a new house.

I want new curtains.                  
........and carpeting, and furniture...  

I need wedding shoes.   
........the other 40 pairs are the  wrong shade of white. 

Hang the picture there.             
........No, I mean hang it there!

I heard a noise.                       
........I noticed you were almost asleep.

Do you love me?                     
........I'm going to ask for something expensive 

How much do you love me? 
........I did something today you're really not going to like. 

I'll be ready in a minute.                                  
........Kick off your shoes and find a good game on T.V.

Is my butt fat?
........Tell me I'm beautiful.

You have to learn to communicate.  
........Just agree with me.

Are you listening to me!?     
........[Too late, your dead.]

No
........No Maybe No Yes No

I'm sorry.
........You'll be sorry.

Do you like this recipe?
........It's easy to fix, so you'd better get used to it.

I'M NOT YELLING!   
........Yes I am yelling because I think this is important.

In answer to "What's Wrong?"                                            
........The same old thing. Nothing.

Nothing.                                  
........Everything. 

Everything.
........My PMS is acting up. 

Nothing, really.                        
........It's just that you're an a**hole

I don't want to talk about it.
........Go away, I'm still building up steam.