A couple came upon a wishing well. The husband leaned over, made a wish and threw in a penny. The wife decided to make a wish, too. But she leaned over too much, fell into the well, and drowned. The husband was stunned for a while but then smiled and said, "It really works." -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

What's the worst part about getting a lung transplant? A: The first few times you cough, it's not your phlegm. -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

These two convicts were about to be executed. The Warden says to the first one "Do you have a last request?"

The convict says "Yes. I'd like to hear Achy Breaky Heart one last time."

The Warden says "OK, I think we can arrange that." Then he says to the second convict "How about you? Last request?"

The second convict says "Yeah. Kill me first."