1. Three of your immediate family members are named Stan
2. You can find a direct route from Polish Hill to the South Side, but can't find a bathroom on the South Side
3. You remember the glory days of Pitt football <--hahahaha
4. You consider all of South Oakland an architectural landmark
5. You think ethnic diversity means its ok to accept Protestants
6. You slam on the brakes at the sight of a tunnel
7. Four of your immediate relatives work for the city or the county
8. Polka music makes you horny
9. You cried when Mario retired (Or when you see a replay of the "Immaculate Reception" which, I might add, is a sacred holiday in my family. We light candles around my Dad's autographed Franco Harris photo and watch the "Greatest Steelers Moments" tape while "Ode to Joy" plays in the background.)
10. You can taste the difference between batches of Iron City
11. You think the Steigerwalds are a dynasty
12. You can tell at least two versions of the "Why Danny Marino wasn't drafted by dem Stillers" story
13. You think "alternative lifestyles" means those who have money and live in Fox Chapel
14. You consider a trip to Monroeville Mall a good Saturday night out.
15. You think Mount Washington is really high
16. You live on the South Side and wonder what life would be like on the North Side
17. You think ethnic cleansing means switching to Irish Spring Soap.
18. A special night out includes Eat-N-Park
19. You visit Cleveland and notice how clean it is
20. You believe that if you are making a left-hand turn, you have the right of way when the light turns green
21. You can't eat a sandwich without coleslaw and fries in the middle
22. You finish all of your sentences with the word "n'at"
23. You take fancy vacations in Seven Springs
24. You wear your best Flannel to the Top of the Triangle restaurant
25. You think Donnie Iris is the Second Coming
26. "Stan, Guy, love the show" means something special to you.
27. You live vicariously through WDVE and wonder why Jimmy Krenn was never on Saturday Night Live.
28. Myron Cope does not sound like a lunatic on drugs to you.
29. You've been to an Isaly's Ice Cream shop.....
30. Your cousins who went to West Virginia University are considered the "traitors" of the family.
31. Your uncle tells a story about the time all the rivers froze and he and his friends walked from the South Side to the North Side on the ice.
32. Your favorite candy at Halloween was a Clark bar.
33. You remember "Chiller Theater with Chilly Billy Cardille" and cheer when you see him in Night of the Living Dead.
34. You put ketchup on everything.... I mean, everything!
35. When you see a Speedy Gonzales cartoon or hear "Ariba!", you think of baseball
36. You 'worsh' your clothes
37. "Hey Yunz Guyz" is your traditional greeting
38. You know the time and location of every Wing Night in a 10 mile radius.
39. You know the location of the following towns, know someone from them and have spent time there: Johnstown, Altoona, Bethlehem, Ligonier, Harmony, and Wilmerding.
40. You've memorized lines from the movies "Flashdance," “All The Right Moves,” “Slap Shot,” and “Inspector Gadget” .
41. If you're a guy, your biggest fear is seeing your best friend drive into the "fruit loop". You're second biggest fear is seeing him drive out with Kordel Stewart.
42. If you're a girl, you're biggest fear is getting hit on by a hairy-chested man, heavily weighted in gold chains, who refers to his friends as "junior" at Chauncey's.
43. Your latest cultural experience: On your way to partying at Slippery Rock University, having to stop your car to let the Amish buggy cross the street.
44. As your out-of-town friends brag about their latest trips to Europe, you think to yourself, "Polish Hill will suffice."
45. You eat out at least once a week at a mafia-owned Italian pizza parlor.
46. Your father has worked for the same company for over 20 years.
47. You don't see what all the hype is about Disney World when Kennywood is just around the corner.
48. You're having a hard time on where to take your date out for dinner and a night on the town:
a. "meat on a stick" in the south side and the guzzling IC Light at Jack's
b. splitting an order of "O fries" and guzzling IC Light at Peter's Pub
c. getting fries and coleslaw on a sandwich at Primanti Brothers and guzzling a yard of I C Light at Blue Lou’s
49. N at' " is eloquently added to the end of every sentence.
50. You've taken deliberate field trips to the Andy Warhol museum.
51. You water ski on Raystown Lake
52. You feel the only good bands out there are Donny Iris, Joe Grushecky, The Blue Oyster Cult, and of course.... Rusted Root.
53. You're more worried about Jerome Bettis's health than your own.
54. You own more than one original Terrible Towel.
55. Your most bitter regret is that Dan Marino plays for the Dolphins...
56. You don't understand what all the hype is about for Rolling Rock beer, you've been drinking it for years
57. You consider a great vacation a trip to Conneaut Lake or Lake Erie.
58. ...For something a little more exotic, a trip to Jersey Shore (Pennsylvania, that is).
59. You're 35 years old, have never been outside of Allegheny County, and don't see the need to leave.
60. You only own four spices: salt, pepper, Heinz ketchup, and the bottle of Trappey's Red Devil you swiped from Primanti's.
61. You design your Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.
62. For the life of you, you can't understand why your all your out-of-town friends don't get the "fries and cole slaw" thing
63. You have 101 favorite recipes for keilbasa and saurkraut.
64. Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow.
65. You find 20F "a little" chilly.
66.You know the four seasons: Winter, Still Winter, Almost Winter, and Construction.
67.You remember fondly time off from school known as "Snow Days".
68.Words like: hoagie; chipped ham; pop; and gumband actually mean something to you.
69.You can use the phrase "Firehall Wedding" and not even bat an eye.
70.The Monday after Thanksgiving is a National Holiday to you (First Day of Buck Season)
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