in these months
i have struggled to know you
to learn from your foibles and your mistakes
and yet all i find is the void you never filled
closing
i go for days without thinking of you
more like weeks to tell you the truth
i can't determine how long it's been
since i shed a tear for you
i looked at the pictures
on the wall the other day
and noticed myself in the picture
with someone i did not recognize
and as i bent closer to
study the picture
i realized the man in the picture
was you
my father
and i wish i had the emotions
to shed a tear
not for the fact that you were dead and lost
but for the shame of having forgotten
you so soon
(c)Rachel Perlman 1997
