October 16, 1999

I just took three sleeping pills (Restoril) and downed a few shots of peach schnapps. Feeling freaky. It’s kind of hard to type. I’m just feeling majorly depressed and want to sleep. Too much is going on and I’m feeling clueless as to what I need to do next. I just want to stay in bed and take my sleeping pills. It’s a nice numb, fuzzy, euphoric feeling. Is it dangerous to drink with these sleeping pills? I wish I had someone to talk to about this. If I told my psychiatrist he’d most likely hospitalize me. That’s one place I want to avoid. I can’t type anymore, I won’t be making sense for too much longer. I am spacing out from the pills and alcohol. I better get into bed. I’m sure I’ll sleep all day tomorrow – fun – escape from reality.