I drank too much on the weekend and did things I shouldn’t have done. I was passed out in a friend’s car at the end of the night. Most of the night was a blur. I did vaguely remember having sex with this guy I know. I just met him at school recently. He has been calling and stopping by every day since then. What am I doing? At least he used a condom. Still, I have a boyfriend. It’s a long distance relationship and I visit him on weekends or he visits me. I feel so out of control. This is so unlike me. I had a session with my therapist on Tuesday. I told her everything. She was pretty bugged out. She said that drinking with my medication isn’t a good thing. Yeah, I did know that. She even spoke of hospitalization. No way. She says that I’m self-destructive. Who didn’t know that? I’m afraid, afraid of slipping into psychosis. Most days, things seem all fuzzy, like I’m in a dream. I’m drifting from reality. My family would freak if my psychiatrist forced me into the loony bin again. Am I really going to self-destruct?
