.

The wisdom of this page is expressed by

ToddRodd

AND

SexyDiva

Now this page represents a great achievement in my research. We've all have wondered how these "playas" and "playettes" are so successful. And why do nice guys and girls have it rough. Believe me, there is a science to it all. And it's not as complicated as you may think. But there is a lot to explain.

There are several factors that go into play in the making of a player:
Confidence
Greed
Insensitivity
Passion
Selfishness
Insecurity

The attractiveness of the Mack
Ofcourse players are attractive. But for several reasons. It really has nothing to do with looks even though it may be a plus. But ANYONE has the ability to become a player.
Players are confident. And that's VERY attractive. Confident in themselves and not seeking approval from others. And in turn, that may cause others to start seeking approval from them!
This is where it all begins.

The weapon of insecurity
You've read right. Players use insecurity as a weapon to control their relationships. The root source of insecurity begins from the high social value of the player. The player really doesn't truly have high social value. It is all nothing but perception.
The more people who are fond of the player, the higher the social value of the player.
(Example.....a man who have several female admirers)
This may explain why for example, so many women seek after and cling onto a man who clearly have several other female prospects.

Challenge
The player being a challenge to "bag" is a driving force for it's success. And a player with many admirers can be viewed upon as a challenge for any person. Human beings love to win. So therefore being the celebrated one to finally "tame" the player's social ways really seems like a desireable goal.
But the problem is, the player doesn't want to be "tamed" into a monogamous relationship. Because once that happens, the player will feel less in control and insecure. The supply of prospects is security for the player.
Like an old saying goes:"Always keep a spare tire"
The less available the player seems, the more valuable he/she is socially. So naturally, the player will most likely continue to have a generous supply of prospects since its social value will continue stay high due to its current prospects and the "potential bidders". It's a self-fulfilling prophecy. One hand washes the other.

Passion
This is also a big contributor to the player's attractiveness. Every player has a passion of some sort.
(example: cars, friends, prospects, career, music, etc..)
And since it's a passion, it would be a significant part of the player's life. Now.... this would once again evoke some insecurity on the "investor's" part. He/she will then wonder about how significant he/she truly is to the player. This starts "approval seeking" and clingyness.
The "investor" usually tries to then turn the player's passion onto him/her. By doing so will be a validation to the "investor" that he/she is truly significant to the player's life. He/she will then feel important in final.

Dazzle
Oooohhhh....."dazzle" is what makes players so much fun to be with. A "dazzle" could be anything. A strong personality, an impulsive character trait, a fancy car, very good looks, sharp wit, lots of money, social status, etc. It is something that is particularily attractive about the player. But mainly it is nothing more than a very effective lure. A "dazzle" is often a player's passion as mentioned above. "Dazzles" are usually practised and maintained by the player to either maintain or augment his/her social value.

The Nursing Need
This is a very common ploy. How many times have you seen someone stay with another person who abuses them, uses drugs, cheats on them, lie to them, or even disrespects the "investor's" family? WE ALL HAVE! And why do they get away with it? It's "The Nursing Need"!
The Nursing Need is based upon insecurity. The "investor" wants to feel needed. He/she wants to feel significant to the player's life. He/she wants to make him/her "better". It's as if they're taking on a life-long project. And in many cases, they are.
It's not very hard to understand the "investor's" Nursing Need. Would you feel very secure in a relationship if your partner was doing better than you or don't need anything from you? Most of us wouldn't. So the "investor" then chooses a "wounded bird" for them to "nurse".
But far too often the "investor" isn't observant enough to abandon the "project" and stays with the player in hopes things will be rosier in the near future. The rockier the road gets, the more needed the "investor" feels. Once again, this is a self-fulfilling prophecy. One hand washes the other.
This is a player's haven. The player usually has almost total control of the relationship by playing the "wounded bird".

In Conclusion
Being a player really means living selfishly and shallowly. It's all for self with no room for any others. This doesn't sound very healthy. It abandons all honesty. And since honesty is a solid support of all relationships, everything is doomed from the beginning.
"Playing" may be fun. It may be a LOT of fun. But spiritual destruction is the inevitable consequence.

Main Screen	Buzzing Page
Shout-outs!	Fun Page
Movie Review	BoardRoom
Chat Friends	Life Page

Email