Funny Stuff
I love deadlines.
I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by.
Regis Philbin is an idiot. that's my final answer
Tell YOUR voices to shut up, I can't hear mine!
I can please only one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow isn't looking good either.
Needing someone is like needing a parachute. If he isn't there the first time you need him, chances are you won't be needing him again.
Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level, then beat you with experience.
I treat my man like a king, i let him be seen with me.
I have P.M.S. and a gun. Excuse me, did you have something to say?
Don't walk behind me because you are not my slave, don't walk beside me although you are my equal, just walk about 5 steps in front of me 'cause baby, you have a great ass!
I hate indian givers, no wait, I take that back.
I don't make mistakes, I thought I did once, but I was wrong.
One out of every 4 people is mentally unstable, think about your 3 best friends, if they seem normal, then you are the one.
Friends don't let friends drive naked.
Don't pee on the electric fence.
I wanna die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather....not screaming like the people in his car.
You`re just jealous cause the little voices talk to me!
Guys are like beanie babies-they`re cheap,their heads are full of stuffing,and the really cute ones are hard to find!
Always remember that you are unique. Just like everyone else
I never make stupid mistakes. Only very, very clever ones
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
God made me pretty,
What happened to you.
Out of my mind... Back in 5 minutes.
Cats aren't clean, they're just covered in cat spit.
As we mature we tend to ponder the deeper questions, Like, if Mike Brady was such a good architect how come he only had one upstairs bathroom- for 6 kids?
I have opinions of my own -- strong opinions --but I don't always agree with them.
-George Bush
If a man says something, but there's no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong?
"The best way to accelerate a Macintosh is at 9.8m/sec/sec"
~Marcus Dolengo
"Man was predestined to have free will"
~Hal Lee Luyah
"Boys will be boys, and so will a lot of middle-aged men"
~Kin Hubbard
"Those who can laugh without cause have either found the true meaning of happiness or
have gone stark raving mad"
~Norm Papernick
Wanna know what bugs me? When I'm watching a movie and someone says, "Did you see that?" It's like..."No! I paid $8.50 to come here and stare at the friggin' ceiling!"
Somtimes I think that you should put a condom on your head, because if your gonna act like a d*ck you might as well dress like one too!
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Email: mulder2195@aol.com
