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Interesting Questions

I went to the Missing Persons Bureau. No one was there.

If a bouncer gets drunk, who throws him out?

I once found a throw rug in a catch basin.

When will all the rhetorical questions end?

We have mileage, yardage and footage. Why don't we have inchage?

Why are there no recreational drugs taken in suppository form?

A tree: first you chop it down, then you chop it up.

Once, at school, I received a dressing down for not dressing up.

"No comment" is a comment.

If you get cheated by the Better Business Bureau, who do you complain to?

What is the plural of "a hell of a guy"? "Hells of guys"?

Why do we say "redheaded" but "brownhaired"?

Environmentalists changed the word "jungle" to "rain forest," because no one would give them money to save a jungle.

Same with swamps and wetlands.

I'm not an organ donor, but I once gave an old piano to the Salvation Army.

I choose toilet paper through a process of elimination.

I thought it would be nice to get a job at a duty-free shop, but it doesn't sound like there's a whole lot to do in a place like that.

What exactly is "midair"? Is there some other part of air besides the "mid" part?

How can "crash course" and "collision course" have two different meanings?

How come you press harder on a remote-control when you know the battery is dead?

Since Americans throw rice at weddings do orientals throw hamburgers?

Why are they called buildings, when they're already finished? Shouldn't they be called builts?

Why are they called apartments, when they're all stuck together?

Why do people without out a watch look at their wrist when you ask them what time it is?

Why do you ask someone without a watch what time it is?

Why does sour cream have an expiration date?

Who is General failure and why is he reading my disk?

The light went out, but where to?

Why do banks charge you a "non-sufficient funds fee" on money they already know you don't have?

Why is it you have a "pair" of pants and only one bra?

Does the reverse side also have a reverse side?

 Why is the alphabet in that order?

If the universe is everything, and scientists say that the universe is expanding, what is it expanding into?

If you got into a taxi and he started driving backwards, would the taxi driver end up owing you money?

What would a chair look like if your knees bent the other way?

If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to see it do the other trees make fun of it?

Why is a carrot more orange than an orange?

When two airplanes almost collide why do they call it a near miss?

Do fish get cramps after eating?

How come abbreviated is such a long word?

Why are there 5 syllables in the word "monosylabic"?

If it's zero degrees outside today and it's supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?

Why do they call it the Department of Interior when they are in charge of everything outdoors?

Why do scientists call it research when looking for something new?

If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?

When I erase a word with a pencil, where does it go?

Why is it, when a door is open it's ajar, but when a jar is open, it's not adoor?

Tell a man that there are 400 billion stars and he'll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint and he has to touch it.

How come Superman could stop bullets with his chest, but always ducked when someone threw a gun at him?

Do infants have as much fun in their infancy as adults do in adultery?

If "con" is the opposite of "pro," then what is the opposite of progress?

Why is lemon juice mostly artificial ingredients but dishwashing liquid contains real lemons?

How much deeper would the ocean be if sponges didn't grow in it?

Why buy a product that it takes 2000 flushes to get rid of?

Why do we wait until a pig is dead to "cure" it?

Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?

Why do we put suits in a garment bag and put garments in a suitcase?

Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

Do Roman paramedics refer to IV's as "4's"?

Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have an "s" in it?

What do little birdies see when they get knocked unconscious?

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?

Is the main reason Santa is so jolly because he knows where all the bad girls live?

Should you trust a stockbroker who's married to a travel agent?

Is boneless chicken considered to be an invertebrate?

Do married people live longer than single people or does it just SEEM longer?

I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.

If all those psychics know the winning lottery numbers, why are they all still working?

Isn't Disneyland a people trap operated by a mouse?

Since light travels faster than sound, isn't that why some people appear bright until you hear them speak?

Isn't the best way to save face to keep the lower part shut?

War doesn't determine who's right, just who's left.

If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?

Would a fly without wings be called a walk?

Can you be a closet claustrophobic?

If the funeral procession is at night, do the people drive with their lights off?

If a stealth bomber crashes in a forest, will it make a sound?

When it rains, why don't sheep shrink?

If the cops arrest a mime, do they tell her she has the right to remain silent?

If a book about failures doesn't sell, is it a success?

Do cemetery workers prefer the graveyard shift?

What do you do when you discover an endangered animal that eats only endangered plants?

Do hungry crows have ravenous appetites?

Is it possible to be totally partial?

What's another word for thesaurus?

When companies ship Styrofoam, what do they pack it in?

If it's tourist season why can't we shoot them?

Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections?

Why do kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?

When you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn?

Why do they call it a TV set when you only get one?

Do radioactive cats have 18 half-lives?

If you shoot a mime should you use a silencer?

What was the best thing before sliced bread?

If a mime swears, do you wash his hands with soap?

If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?

Is there another word for synonym?

Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do, practice?

When you open a bag of cotton balls is the top one meant to be thrown away?

Why isn't there mouse flavored cat food?

Why do they report power outages on TV?

Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?

Should vegetarians eat animal crackers?

EARTH FIRST! We'll strip-mine the other planets later.

Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.

I'm as confused as a baby in a topless bar.

The gene pool could use a little chlorine.

Make it idiot-proof and someone will make a better idiot.

He who laughs last thinks slowest!

A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.

Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.

I wouldn't be caught dead with a necrophiliac.

I won't rise to the occasion, but I'll slide over to it.

Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be happy.

Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.

I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.

Okay, who put a "stop payment" on my reality check?

Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs.

We have enough youth--how about a fountain of SMART?

All generalizations are false, including this one.

I.R.S.: We've got what it takes to take what you've got!

We are born naked, wet, and hungry. Then things get worse.

Artificial intelligence usually beats real stupidity.

Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now.

Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.