Last Week - Tim complained a little more than 
usual, and made some people cry.  Poor Tim hasn't 
got the cash to come back next semester.  Bummer.

Okay, so I got about 6 weeks left here in scenic 
SUNY Cortland, so I decided to just make a few 
observations on this lovely place where we all 
work and play.  How often do you just kind of walk 
around campus an look at the places that you have 
classes, or the things that you use to do the things 
that you do?

The reason that I write about this is because I had 
a rather intimate encounter with a door this weekend.  
I had my pinkie stuck in the door to  The Dragon 
Chronicle for about 5 minutes Saturday night.  I got 
it wedged in between the handle and the door casing.  
As I type this column, I am looking at it pondering 
the next time that it will assault me.   This event, 
however, did give me an idea for this column.  A list 
of things that you should do to call your experience 
here at Cortland complete.

Now I'm not talking about the usual "Go to class, 
Eat, Go to bed" trip.  I've already given up on that 
premise, as my GPA reflects.  I'm talking about the 
stuff that makes Cortland unique.  The things that 
make Cortland the way that it is.

• Eat at Winchell.  I think everyone will agree with 
me when I say that the trip to the bathroom after 
any meal there is unforgettable.

• Intramural sports.  Nothing like a nice game of 
Broomball at 11:00 p.m. when you really should be 
studying.

• Go to the basement of Corey Union and get a peek 
at the door that says "Bowling Alley" and think to 
yourself, "What??"

• Take a ride in the lovely, reliable elevators on 
a Sunday night.  I live in Casey Tower, but I've 
seen a lot of them.  I wouldn't exactly call them 
spotless.

• The Waterworks.  Enough said.

• Set up your email account and write to every 
address you know, including the President.  Glorified 
version - do like Voido does.  Instead of using your 
email account to write to everyone you know, use 
someone else's account and write to people who don't 
care.

• Get involved in the annual first snowball fight in 
the quad, and along the street.  Then when public 
safety comes, hide.

• Downtown.  I guess there are several things to be 
said, but to save my hide I'll make it brief.  Bar.  
Dance floor.  Hookup.

• The Cortland vs. Ithaca football game.  (Gee, what 
a coincidence that this column appears the same week 
as the game, huh?)  Definitely an important aspect of 
the Cortland experience.  Join together to root on 
the team while bashing the other one.  Even if you 
don't know anything about football, it's still 
important to go.

• The Clayton Block Party.  Now, I know that mayoral 
candidate Tucker wishes to abolish this act of campus 
unity, but hang on just one minute.  It's an important 
part of being at Cortland.  It's the lifeblood of the 
campus community.  Stating that as a platform for a 
mayoral campaign is a good way to lose the entirety of 
the college vote.

• Writing columns for The Dragon Chronicle and 
basically becoming the king of Cortland media.