Jack Stewart had been Jennifer’s Gynaecologist since she married Jonathan and moved to Bel Air so he knew her medical history. He sat back in his seat again and smiled at her.
"Your referral letter from Doctor Sherman is quite clear but we’ve known each other a long time Jennifer so why don’t you tell me a bit about your symptoms."
"It’s been three months since I had a period. You know that ever since I had the abdominal surgery I haven’t had a regular cycle, but three months is a long time." She looked at him and he could see that she was concerned.
"What else is different from normal?"
"It started while Jonathan and I were on our trip around Europe. I put it down to the travelling and the different foods and climates. I wasn’t ill, I just didn’t feel a hundred percent. I was more tired than normal and I had a couple of dizzy spells – nothing that lasted any length of time though."
"Have you had any pain or discomfort of any kind…. Headaches? Stomach cramps?"
"I haven’t had any pain anywhere, even when I had the dizziness I didn’t have a headache, a bit of nausea but it didn’t last."
"Okay. Well, we’ll start with a few basic tests that can be carried out here. Then I’ll draw some blood to send for analysis, get a urine sample and do an internal examination. None of it will be painful and hopefully we’ll find an explanation for your symptoms."
"Do you have any idea what the problem could be?" Although not unduly worried, Jennifer was concerned by the symptoms she’d had. She led a very full and active life and she wasn’t used to feeling unwell.
"There could be a handful of reasons Jennifer. It might be viral or you could be anaemic. Doctor Sherman wanted you to see me because he thought it might be hormonal but there could be any number of simple explanations so let’s not speculate at the moment." Jennifer liked and trusted the softly spoken Scotsman so she nodded and smiled at him before she asked the one question that had been on her mind.
"Could this be the onset of the Menopause? After my surgery all those years ago I was told that there was a possibility it could happen earlier than normal."
"I can’t rule it out at the moment but it isn’t high on my list of possibilities. The blood tests we do will give us a clearer picture."
"Will you do those now?"
"Yes, it won’t take more than 10 minutes to get the samples and there’s no point in you having to come back at another time. I’ll get my Nurse to organise the things we need and while she’s doing that I’ll do your examination."
"That’s fine, thanks Jack." Jennifer was a little nervous but she knew that it was a lot easier to get as many tests as necessary, done at the one time.
The procedure didn’t take long, and after he had completed it the doctor did the other tests and got the samples that he needed. Throughout the short time she was in the examination room Jennifer didn’t really have any further conversation with him, except when he told her to dress again and he would take the samples to be sent for analysis. He left the room and Jennifer got fully dressed, she sat and waited for him to come back through, he hadn’t given her any indication that he had noticed anything wrong so she wasn’t worried, although she had expected him to make some kind of comment to her.
Doctor Stewart returned a short while later. He walked round his desk and sat down facing Jennifer. She looked questioningly at him and he smiled at her.
"You said that Jonathan was waiting for you?"
"Yes." For the first time she began to feel uneasy. "Why?"
"I would like you to go to Cedars Sinai for an Ultrasound scan."
"Right away?" Jennifer began to worry, she wanted to know why it was so urgent that she should go to the hospital and yet her doctor seemed fairly calm. She was confused more than anything else.
"Jennifer when I did your examination I thought that I could feel something. I took your sample out to our lab here and did a quick test. I want you to go for an Ultrasound because I think that you might be pregnant."
Jennifer sat back in her seat and stared at him, her eyes filled with tears as she realised that he was serious. It took her a moment before she could say anything, she was completely shocked.
"I don’t understand."
"I don’t think that the test, or my findings are wrong but the only way to be certain that it’s a foetus I can feel is to send you for the scan. The sooner we know what we are dealing with the sooner we can decide what to do." He paused a moment and looked at her, it was quite an incredible piece of news to be breaking to her and he knew that if his diagnosis was correct then it would be nothing short of a miracle. He’d never come across this situation before in his 30 years as an OBGYN.
"Jennifer, would you like me to go and get Jonathan?" He stood up and walked around the desk towards her. She nodded slowly, still trying to absorb what he had told her.
"Do you want to tell him yourself or would you like me to do it?"
"I suppose I should tell him…I’m just not sure that I’ll be able to." The doctor smiled at her and went out to the waiting room.
Jonathan, oblivious to what was going on in the Examination Room, was sitting reading a magazine. Jack Stewart stopped at the doorway and looked in. He had known The Harts for many years and was very aware of the effect this news might have on them. Jennifer had abdominal surgery many years ago that had meant her chances of conceiving were drastically reduced. When Invetro Fertilisation had been discussed as an option, about ten years after her operation, they had gone for the initial tests, only to discover that Jonathan had fertility problems as well. Deciding that fate never intended them to be parents the Harts had carried on with their lives and had never discussed the issue any further with him. He knew that they had resolved any feelings they had on the subject a long time ago and this was going to take a lot of getting used to.
Jonathan looked up from the magazine and smiled at him. "Hello Jack, how are you?"
"Jonathan, I’m very well thanks…I’ve just examined Jennifer and I’d like you to come in so we can discuss my diagnosis."
Jonathan was immediately concerned and he threw the magazine down on to the table as he stood up. "What’s wrong?" He faced the doctor and looked at him, he got more worried as each second passed without a reply to his question.
"Come on in and we can discuss it together with Jennifer." Jonathan followed the doctor, he could feel a knot in his stomach and he knew it was fear.
Jennifer was trying to compose herself, it had never dawned on her for a second that she could be pregnant, this was the kind of thing that you read about in magazines, a million-to-one chance. They had given up any idea of having children of their own more than 10 years ago. She was in her mid-40’s, surely too old to have a first baby. The health risks to the child would be greater now, and she wasn’t sure how carrying a baby at her age would affect her physically either. Her head was starting to hurt. She had no idea what was going to happen next and when the door opened and the doctor stepped in followed by Jonathan she lost her composure and the tears welled up again.
Jonathan took one look at her tears and felt the knot in his stomach tighten. He moved past the doctor and over to his wife. "What’s wrong?" He looked down at her, waiting for a response. "Jennifer?" She lifted her head and their eyes met, Jonathan was confused as in spite of her shock and bewilderment she smiled at him through her tears.
"Jack thinks that I’m pregnant."
Jonathan stared at her in silence before turning to the doctor. He waited for him to explain that Jennifer had misunderstood, she couldn’t be pregnant. It wasn’t possible. There was more silence before Jonathan found his voice again. "Jack?"
"Jennifer is right Jonathan, I do think that she’s pregnant. I realise how much of a shock this is. I need you to take her along to the Radiology department at Cedars Sinai for an ultrasound scan to be certain but I’ve done an examination and a pregnancy test and I stand by my diagnosis. I would say that she is between 12 and 14 weeks pregnant."
Jonathan didn’t know what to say or do, he was relieved that Jennifer wasn’t ill but he was completely shocked at the prospect of a baby at this stage in their lives and he knew that Jennifer would be too.
Doctor Stewart looked at them both. "Jonathan why don’t you sit down and we’ll discuss the next steps." Jonathan sat on the chair next to his wife and reached to take her hand in his. He didn’t know which one of them to look at, he wanted to know how Jennifer was feeling but he needed to hear what the doctor had to say. With his free hand he reached into his pocket and took out his clean handkerchief, which he handed to Jennifer to wipe her tears.
"Thanks." Her voice was little more than a whisper and he squeezed her fingers gently and smiled at her before turning his attention to her doctor.
"Jennifer, Jonathan… I’ve known you both for many years, I know your medical history and I would never have put money on this happening. I do need you to have the scan but I wouldn’t have been so frank about my diagnosis if I had any doubts that I could be wrong. Jennifer, your symptoms could have been an indication of a few different conditions, but the examinations I did lead me to believe that you were pregnant and the test confirmed my findings. I know that you thought it would never happen and I suppose with something close to a million-to-one chance that was a safe assumption! What can I say? I guess that miracles do happen!" He paused a moment "It’s the first one I’ve witnessed in a career that has spanned over 30 years and from Edinburgh University to Bel Air." Jack Stewart gave them the opportunity to say something but they were both still in a state of shocked silence. He lifted the phone on his desk and buzzed his Receptionist.
"Laurie, could you call Maureen Collins and tell her that I am sending Mrs Hart over for an Ultrasound this afternoon please."
"I know this will take a while to sink in. Any questions yet?" Jennifer wiped her eyes again and looked at her doctor.
"I need to know what the risks are Jack. My age must be against us as well as the past problems. What are the chances of this baby being healthy?" She was quite calm now. Jonathan stared at her.
"Jennifer at this stage I’d be lying to you if I said that there wouldn’t be any problems. There are possible risks and as the age of the mother increases so do the risks, but your age alone doesn’t necessarily mean problems. As for your past medical history? Well, I’ll review your notes of course but as I recall the diagnosis was only that conception was unlikely to occur. The ultrasound will give us an idea of how things look. As far as the health of the foetus is concerned there are lots of tests available which although not one hundred percent accurate are very successful in diagnosing possible problems. Some of them will be possible to do this early, others need to be done around 16 to 18 weeks gestation or later." Jack Stewart looked at the couple sitting in front of him. While Jennifer seemed to be listening and taking in the information Jonathan still seemed to be in a state of shock.
"Jonathan, are you okay?" Both Jack and Jennifer looked at him, he was aware of them looking at him but he didn’t know what to say or do. All the talk of problems and tests was making his head ache. A child of their own was not an option they had considered in over 10 years, it was just going to be the two of them, their lives were geared around being a couple, not a family, he couldn’t believe how calm Jennifer was.
"Darling?" Jennifer’s voice was soft and when he looked at her and their eyes met she looked so vulnerable. She was scared and he was supposed to be strong and supportive for her. Like he had been all of those years ago when they were first told their dream of having a baby had ended and they had to accept that it would probably never happen. Only this time he didn’t know if he could cope with it all. This wasn’t supposed to happen, he was used to having things go as planned, he hated not being in control of the situation. He knew that they were waiting for him to say something, but he couldn’t.
The doctor realised that Jonathan was having problems with the news and he wanted to let them discuss it in private, in their own environment. "If you want to go home and talk about your thoughts and feelings together we can rearrange the hospital appointment." He paused, that wasn’t what he wanted, he wanted to know how far into the pregnancy they were and how the scan looked as soon as possible. Another 24 hours wouldn’t make any difference though.
"I’d rather go and get the scan done now." Jennifer was quite emphatic and she looked at Jonathan. After a moment he nodded.
The journey from the doctor’s office to the hospital took 20 minutes and neither of the Harts said very much. Jonathan drove them in his car and Jennifer sat in the passenger seat staring out of the window, wondering why an event that most people welcomed in their lives was causing them so much upset. She supposed the answer was simply because it was so totally unexpected.
Maureen Collins was the Chief Radiologist and she was the best in her field in the State. She had years of experience and cases like this one weren’t as rare as they used to be as lots of couples were waiting until they were older before starting their families. She was waiting for the Harts when they arrived.
"Hello Mrs Hart, Mr Hart. I’m Maureen Collins, Jack Stewart said to expect you." She smiled at them and Jennifer relaxed a little. "Come on through to Scanning, everything is ready." She walked down the corridor and they followed her.
Maureen had Jennifer change into a gown and when they went into the room where the scanner was she had her lie down on the bed next to the machine. She asked Jonathan to sit on the chair beside the top of the bed so that when she had finished checking the images on the screen and doing the measurements she needed to do, they would both be able to see the monitor.
The ultrasound gel was cold and the pressure from the transducer that Maureen was rolling across her abdomen was a little uncomfortable, but the worst part of the whole thing was that Jennifer couldn’t see the screen and she couldn’t read anything into the expression on Maureen’s face. Finally after what seemed like an eternity Maureen looked up at Jennifer and smiled. She turned the monitor round and Jennifer lifted her head slightly, she glanced quickly at Jonathan who was leaning over to see the picture then returned her attention to the screen.
"First of all there is definitely a pregnancy here. The foetus is 13 weeks gestation – that fits in with your dates?" She looked at Jennifer and she nodded.
"Yes."
Maureen pointed at the screen as she pressed a button on the monitor and the image changed. "If you look here you can see the head, the spine and the legs." She used her finger to draw a semi-circle on the screen and as Jennifer stared at the image she caught her breath, she saw what Maureen was pointing to and recognised it as looking like a baby. Jonathan saw it too, he hadn’t known what to expect but he hadn’t expected it to look so much like a baby. "There is a strong heartbeat and although the placenta is a little lower than it could be, it’s nothing to worry too much about. This ultrasound isn’t the most comprehensive of scans but it presents us with a fair idea of how things are forming. There are lots of tests available to check for possible defects but my initial reaction is that we are looking at a pregnancy that is progressing normally." She moved the transducer around a little and the image on the screen changed, they could see the baby’s arms and hands and as they watched it twitched and moved. The picture widened again and the machine bleeped. Jennifer looked immediately at Maureen for an explanation. "It’s printing your due date and a photograph."
When the procedure was over Maureen excused herself and left Jennifer to get dressed again. Jonathan walked out in to the corridor with her.
"I gather this is a bit of a surprise for you both."
Jonathan looked at her. "Yes it is. We were told many years ago that we would never have children…Well, as good as, the odds were so long. It took a while for us to get used to the idea but we did, and we accepted the fact that we wouldn’t have a family. We have full and busy lives. It’s just such a shock, especially at our age."
"You need to give the news time to sink in, make an appointment with a Consultant Obstetrician and talk through all of the options. First of all though you need to talk to each other about it." She smiled sympathetically at Jonathan and he nodded. Maureen extended her hand to him. "I’ll pass on my notes to Dr Stewart. Good luck Mr Hart."
Jonathan watched her walk down the corridor; she had just turned a corner out of sight when he heard Jennifer come out of the room. He turned around slowly and looked at her. She met his gaze and she looked so bewildered. She was still holding the photo and the date that the machine had printed out. Jonathan reached for her other hand, taking it in his he linked fingers with her and smiled encouragingly at her.
"Come on sweetheart, let’s go home, we’ve got a lot to talk about."
Jennifer nodded. "Yes we have." She agreed.
It was late afternoon when they got home. Jonathan said he’d go and make them some cold drinks. Jennifer wanted to take a shower and she headed upstairs.
In their bedroom Jennifer put her purse down on the cabinet by the bed and she laid the scan photo down beside it. She sat on the edge of the bed and slipped her shoes off. She paused a moment then picked the photo up again, the image wasn’t all that clear and if Maureen hadn’t pointed out what everything was she wouldn’t have known exactly what she was looking at. Reality was beginning to slowly sink in though and it dawned on her that no matter what happened and what decisions they made, their lives would never be the same again.
Jennifer spent about fifteen minutes in the shower and when she came out her head was a little clearer. She wrapped herself in a bath towel and walked through to the dressing room. She stood in front of the full-length mirror and looked at her reflection, she didn’t know if she looked any different, she certainly felt different. She looked at her body, there were things that she hadn’t really noticed and she should have done. The change in her breasts had been what had prompted her to think she might be going through the first stages of the menopause but she hadn’t noticed some of the other subtle changes. As she looked more closely now she realised that there were some. She had always been very slim and worked out regularly to keep it that way. Although on their trip around Europe she had eaten more rich foods and not exercised as much as she would have done at home. Slowly she reached down and placed her hand flat on her abdomen, there was definitely a slight roundness to it that hadn’t been there before. She looked down at her hand and smiled – she was pregnant.
Downstairs Jonathan was standing by the window looking out into the garden, his head was full of different thoughts and he was so confused by his feelings. On the one hand he wasn’t sure that they could cope with the demands a child would make on them, physically as well as emotionally. They were so used to it just being the two of them; they could do what they wanted, when they wanted, without having to consider anyone else. A child was a major tie and they would have to make a lot of changes to their lifestyles. The main thing they had to worry about was whether or not the baby was healthy. It sounded as though they would have a lot of different tests and procedures to go through before they would know if it was. He also wasn’t sure how fair it was on a child to have parents that were so much older, that particular thought was dispelled as he remembered his own childhood at Mission Street Orphanage and how he had longed for parents, it wouldn’t have mattered to him how old they were as long as they had loved and cared for him.
Moving away from the window Jonathan turned around and went to sit on the sofa, thoughts of Mission Street still occupying his mind. He had been so young when he was first sent there, but unfortunately not young enough, most couples wanted babies. It had been a lonely childhood and he had no idea what it felt like to be part of a family. Max had become a father figure to him and they had shared a special bond. His relationship with Jennifer was the most amazing thing that had ever happened to him and Jonathan always thought that if there was a God then finding Jennifer was his way of making it up to him for not having a family when he was younger. She was the single most important thing in his life and Jonathan knew that however she felt about this he would support her decisions.
Jonathan was still sitting on the sofa when he heard Jennifer coming downstairs. He got up and walked round towards her. They both paused a moment and looked at each other. Then Jonathan stepped forward and held his arms out, Jennifer walked over and into his embrace. They stood holding each other for a few minutes in silence before Jonathan finally spoke to ask her how she was feeling.
"I’m not sure …confused, shocked…scared." She seemed so vulnerable and he felt a lump in his throat as he looked at her, there hadn’t been many occasions when he had heard his wife admit that she was scared. He touched her cheek with his fingertips and she met his gaze. She took a deep breath to try and stop the tears and she managed a small smile as she told him "I am happy though Jonathan." He returned her smile and nodded, he understood exactly how she felt. He was feeling completely bewildered by the events of the day, and whatever the outcome, there were going to be changes in their lives. So far he hadn’t allowed himself to feel happy but when Jennifer said the word he was able to agree with her. The love that they shared had created a new life, a little person that was part of both of them. Their own miracle. It sounded so dramatic and Jonathan smiled at the thought but that’s exactly what this baby was. They would have to hope and pray that the dream that they had long given up on was coming true and that this wasn’t going to be the start of a nightmare. They had to have this child and he or she had to be healthy.
"I’m happy too darling."
"Will she be okay Jonathan?" He looked at her and smiled.
"She?" He repeated questioningly. Jennifer shrugged her shoulders and smiled at him. "We’ll do everything we can to make sure…she… has the best chance possible."
"Can we do this?" She asked quietly. Jonathan knew what she meant, they really hadn’t had time to think about the situation but they each knew that if the baby was healthy there wasn’t anything else that they could do but continue with the pregnancy.
"Well, we have about six months to get used to the idea!" Jonathan said.
"I think it will take me that length of time to get used to it. I never imagined this could happen now. The first couple of years after we discovered what the chances of us having our own baby were I felt there was always a glimmer of hope. But when it didn’t happen I was able to accept it and decide that we had so many other blessings in our lives."
Jonathan smiled at her and reached to push her hair back from her face. He looked closely at her. She had no make-up on and she looked so natural, there was something else though, something different. It was as though he was seeing her in a completely new light. Resting his fingers lightly on her cheek he bent his head slowly and kissed her softly on the lips. "I love you Jennifer." His voice was almost a whisper as he was overcome with emotion.
Jennifer smiled. "I love you too."
The Harts spent the evening quietly at home just the two of them. They sat together on the sofa, for the most part in a companionable silence, they were each lost in their own thoughts. Jonathan had been thinking about the house. They were still staying in the place they had rented after the fire at Willowpond. Just before Max died they had thought about moving but they never got round to it and recently they had done a lot of travelling so they had only needed a base in LA, not a permanent home. He looked at his wife and decided to share his thoughts with her.
"Darling."
She lifted her head and smiled at him. "Yes?"
He hoped she’d like his idea. "I was thinking, how would you feel about us getting together with Andy Gardener and his team and have them draw up the plans to re-build the house at Willowpond."
Jennifer thought for a moment and smiled at him. "I think that’s a wonderful idea. It’s time that we moved home again."
"I’ll call him in the morning and see when we can have a meeting." Jonathan was pleased that she had agreed with him, there were going to be a lot of changes in their lives over the next few months and he was beginning to feel quite excited at the prospect.
Jennifer felt ready for bed about Ten o’clock and Jonathan went to make her a warm drink while she went upstairs. When he came up she was already in bed and he stayed and chatted to her as she had her drink then after she had finished he left her to get some sleep and he went back downstairs again.
Jonathan spent about an hour catching up on some paperwork; he managed to concentrate on it – but only just. When he’d finished he put his briefcase away and went to make himself a drink. As he passed the fireplace he stopped and looked at the photographs that were on display. There was one of Max and Jonathan lifted it down to look at it. He smiled wistfully. Max would have been delighted at the news of the baby. When they had discovered that it was unlikely they’d have children Max had been there to support and comfort them. He, more than anyone, had known how upset Jonathan had been at the time. Max had been there for him to talk to when he was putting a brave face on things for Jennifer. He had been like a father to him and Jonathan knew he had a high standard to attain to be the kind of father to his child that Max had been to him. He wanted to do his best so that not only would his son or daughter be happy and be proud of him, but Max would too.
Jennifer slept soundly and when she woke the next morning the sun was shining brightly and it promised to be another beautiful warm day. Leaving Jonathan asleep she went out on to the balcony and looked at the view. The ocean was quite calm and the beach was deserted, this was her favourite time of the day. Taking a deep breath of sea air she smiled then turned and sat down on one of the chairs behind her. She loved it here at the beach; it had been her idea to move to Malibu after the fire had destroyed their home in Bel Air. Willowpond would always be special though and that’s why she felt ready to go home now. It would be the perfect place to raise their child. For a moment all the feelings of what could go wrong came to mind again and Jennifer sat back, closed her eyes and tried to think nice, positive thoughts. She was already at the end of the first trimester so she had come through the first stage totally unaware of being pregnant. There were things that she had done that she wouldn’t have had she known, but there was no going back now so it was pointless thinking about it. She hadn’t done anything that would endanger the baby, she hadn’t even drunk much. Normally when they were out for dinner they would have wine or Champagne but she hadn’t felt much like drinking when they had been on their trip. She also hadn’t been exercising as strenuously while they were away which was another good thing. She had always worked hard at staying physically fit and she knew that she was in good shape for a woman of her age, she hoped that would be in her favour as her body adapted to being pregnant.
Jennifer sat outside for about fifteen minutes and when she headed back in to have her shower Jonathan was just wakening up. She smiled. "Hello sleepyhead." She walked round to his side of the bed and bent to kiss him.
"Good morning."
Jonathan smiled warmly as he sat up. "How’re you feeling?"
Jennifer sat on the edge of the bed facing him. "I feel fine Darling, I slept really well. I don’t remember you coming up to bed."
"I was quite late. I did some paperwork." He paused and looked at her. "Then I did a lot of thinking."
Jennifer was interested. "What conclusions did you come to?"
Jonathan reached out and covered her hand with his. "That I will do everything possible to make sure that our child has a wonderful childhood, the kind that you and I both missed out on."
Jennifer nodded and smiled again. "Lots of love, and fun and laughter. And parents who will always be there to support and encourage every achievement."
"I had none of that until I was almost 15 years old and met Max." Jonathan reminisced.
"The early years of my childhood were happy while my Mother was alive, after she died my Dad did his best but I was away at school most of the year." Jennifer wasn’t bitter about it now. She had resented her Dad when she was younger but they had resolved their differences many years ago. Jennifer understood how much her Father had loved her Mother and how devastated he had been when she died. She knew that it wouldn’t have been easy for him to send her away to school. She still thought that there could have been another option but she had always respected her Dad and that was all in the past. Now, if everything went well, it was going to be her turn to be a parent. Jennifer knew that no matter what happened in her life she would be there for her child. She also had faith in Jonathan and she knew what a wonderful Father he would make, if anything happened to her she was certain he would find a way to cope and keep their child with him, not send her away.
Jonathan was bemused by the expression on his wife’s face and he smiled at her. "What’s so amusing Jennifer?" He asked her.
"I’m sorry, I can’t help it. I just keep thinking of our baby as a girl." She grinned at him.
Jonathan smiled. "Two beautiful ladies to my credit…" He paused and looked seriously at her. "How lucky can one man get?"
Jennifer became equally serious. "I think that any little girl or boy who gets you as their Daddy will be the lucky one."
