The journey to the hospital seemed endless, Jonathan held Jennifer’s hand but he knew that she was beginning to drift in and out of consciousness and he was terrified he was going to lose her. They had some sort of monitor in the ambulance but Jonathan had no idea what they were doing. As soon as they got to the hospital they rushed Jennifer away and he was left standing by the Reception desk with the female paramedic.
"They’re in good hands now Mr Hart." She told him.
Jonathan had to give some details to the receptionist and they were able to access Jennifer’s file immediately so he was directed through to the waiting area. He wanted it to be a bad dream, he kept thinking that he would wake up at any moment. He had never experienced fear like it and he knew that he was going to throw up. He made it to the rest room in time. When he came out again there was a doctor waiting for him.
"Mr Hart we are preparing your wife for surgery, your baby is very distressed and we need to deliver it now. It’s the only way we’ll be able to stop the bleeding."
"Will Jennifer be alright?" She was his first thought.
"She has lost a lot of blood and her pressure is low but as soon as we operate we should be able to sort that out. Barring any complications she has a good chance of a full recovery. We will let you know what’s happening. The baby won’t have been getting the required amount of oxygen but hopefully if we get it out quickly it‘ll have a chance. Five weeks premature isn’t too bad so we‘ll keep our fingers crossed." His bleep went off and he turned to look through the doors of the Operating Room.
"They’re ready now, it shouldn’t take long." He dashed off leaving Jonathan alone again.
Jonathan lost count of how many times he walked up and down the waiting room and the corridor outside, he couldn’t sit down, he had a pounding headache and felt constantly sick. It all seemed to take longer than he had expected, at one point two medics had come out with what looked like an incubator, he assumed that the baby was in it. They disappeared along the corridor before he had time to react. Nothing happened again for a while.
The doctor came to speak with him when the procedure was over and he explained what they had discovered.
"The placenta had started to separate from the wall of the uterus which was what caused the profuse bleeding, we had difficulty stopping the bleeding and had to remove the uterus. Once we did that we managed to stabilise your wife and we have her blood pressure back under control again now, it’s still a bit low and she did lose a lot of blood so we had to give her a couple of units. She’s in the recovery room at the moment and we are confident that she will make a complete recovery. Unfortunately as we had to remove the uterus there won’t be any more pregnancies."
"We never dreamed that we would have had this one." Jonathan told him. He looked at the doctor and wasn’t sure what to say to him, he was scared to ask about the baby.
The doctor continued speaking. "We rushed your daughter to the Neo-natal unit and somebody from there should be down soon to update you on what’s happening. We hope we got her out in time, she was breathing but obviously I can’t tell you what effects there will be from this, the Neo-natal team will be the ones to explain everything to you."
Jonathan nodded. There was a pause before he asked "When can I see Jennifer?"
"As soon as we get her settled we’ll move her to a private room and you can sit with her." Jonathan looked at the doctor and reached out his hand. The younger man shook it.
"Thank you for what you did for them." He said quietly. The tremendous sense of relief that he felt knowing that Jennifer was going to be okay was overwhelming.
"It’s all in a day’s work! But you are very welcome…. I hope your little girl will make it."
Jonathan watched him as he walked away; he felt guilty that his thoughts had been mostly for Jennifer and not their baby. Their daughter… Jennifer had been right, she had always referred to the baby as a girl. Jonathan didn’t know how she would react if anything happened to the baby, not after all the dramas they’d had earlier in the pregnancy.
"Mr Hart?" Jonathan had been deep in thought but he looked up then stood up to face the lady who had spoken to him.
"Yes." She reached out her hand to him and he shook it.
"I am Lucy Chalmers from the Neo-natal unit. I came down to update you on your daughter." She smiled at him and he felt a sense of relief before she had even spoken.
"How is she?" Jonathan asked. He could still feel his stomach churning, but the fact that she was smiling made him feel more at ease.
"She is a good size for 5 weeks premature, 5lbs 4oz. She is on a ventilator and we are testing her lungs to see how developed they are. The results of her five-minute Apgar test were promising but we can’t rule out problems from the haemorrhage entirely, we‘ll have to wait for the results of the tests that we are doing at the moment. The next 24 hours will provide us with a clearer picture but for the time being she is doing as well as we could hope for."
"You said you can’t rule out possible problems, like what?"
"Sometimes when infants are premature after a trauma like this they suffer from the effects of lack of oxygen. At the moment we are observing her for signs of respiratory distress syndrome, that usually occurs within a few hours of birth." The doctor paused a moment, she looked at Jonathan and smiled slightly.
"Mr Hart, your little girl has been through a trauma but she is a bit bigger than we’d hoped and now we have to keep our fingers crossed that she is stronger too. We’re doing all that we can for her; we need her to be a fighter. Why don’t you come up and give her some encouragement."
Jonathan had been about to tell her that he was going to sit with Jennifer, but he realised that she would still be under the anaesthetic and when she came round the first thing she would ask about was the baby. He decided that he really should go up and see her, just for a few minutes. He nodded "Okay, I’ll come up while they are getting Jennifer settled."
Never having been in a Neo-natal unit Jonathan had no idea what to expect. He understood what the various pieces of machinery were and knew how necessary they were. What he hadn’t expected was the overwhelming emotions he felt when he looked down and saw the baby…their daughter linked up to that machinery. For the past few months when he had pictured the scene of seeing the baby for the first time he had imagined her being delivered and placed into Jennifer’s arms and them meeting her together. The scene in front of him now was almost unreal. Wires tubes, sensors, and machines. It was frightening and as the events of the evening finally caught up with him he stood watching her with tears streaming down his face. The doctor stepped back for a few moments and let him cry. None of the staff in the unit made a fuss, they were quite used to seeing tears, and they left him until he had composed himself again.
The baby was lying on her back. There was a tube in her mouth and a smaller one going up her nose. There were two sensors attached to her, one on her tiny chest, the other just below it on her abdomen. She was so small and helpless looking. She was wearing a tiny diaper but she wasn’t wearing a hat, which he had noticed a couple of other babies were. She had dark hair but when he leaned closer and looked at her she opened her eyes a little and he smiled, she looked like Jennifer, it was quite amazing to him but as tiny as she was he could already see that she looked like her Mommy.
"You can reach in and touch her." The doctor was back at his side again.
Jonathan paused a moment then reached in to the incubator and stroked the baby’s hand with his finger. Almost immediately she moved her hand and wrapped her fingers around his. It was the most amazing feeling, like an electric current flowing through him. Jonathan was completely overwhelmed, he had never felt a love like it in his life and it scared him. Here she was, their miracle baby, and he knew she was the most precious thing that they would ever have in their lives. He couldn’t bear the thought that something could happen to take her away before they got to know her properly. He turned briefly to the doctor.
"I know this unit is one of the best in the world, but if there is anything or anybody that can improve my daughters chances…no matter what it takes…" He trailed off, he had never thought he would use his wealth in this way. The amount of money he had had never really mattered to him in the past. Now it probably wouldn’t make any difference anyway. He could pay for the best Consultants and treatment available but it was up to the little one to be strong enough to fight her way to full health.
The doctor smiled and nodded. "I understand what you are saying Mr Hart, once we know what her prognosis is we’ll know what treatment might be necessary and we’ll contact whatever paediatric specialists we think relevant. For now, she is receiving the best possible care and we have to hope that she hasn’t suffered any lasting effects from the haemorrhage."
"Thank you." Jonathan said simply as he watched the baby in the incubator.
There was little change in the baby’s condition when he left her to go down to see Jennifer. Jonathan was exhausted; it had been an emotional rollercoaster of a day and it was a long way from being over yet, he still had to explain to Jennifer what was happening in the Neo-natal Unit. He studied her face as he held her hand, she looked so pale, and she had been through quite a trauma. At least she was going to recover. That was the important thing.
Jonathan was gazing into space, lost in thought when he felt Jennifer’s hand move in his. He looked at her and she was stirring. It took a few moments before her eyes fluttered and after a few more moments they opened. Jonathan stood over her so she was able to look directly up at him without moving. He smiled at her and leaned down to gently kiss her cheek.
"Hello sleepyhead!" He said in a whisper. Jennifer said nothing, she stared at him a moment then she remembered, and she was frightened. Jonathan knew what she was thinking; he saw it in her eyes, which were now filled with tears.
"It’s okay darling, you’ve been through a big operation but you are going to be fine…." He knew he was going to have to say something about the baby to her. He mentally crossed his fingers as he told her "We have a beautiful little girl. She is small and having a few problems but she is going to be fine as well." He managed to smile at her. Jennifer stared at him, he felt his heart pounding in his chest, he was sure that she didn’t believe him. She finally spoke and her voice was weak.
"Promise?" For the first time in their married lives he lied to her as he nodded.
The medical staff were in and out during the night and Jennifer came out of the anaesthetic but drifted into sleep as she had been given a lot of pain relieving drugs. They monitored her closely but assured Jonathan that she was going to be fine, her vital signs were very good. When he was sure that she was sleeping soundly Jonathan left Jennifer with a private nurse and went back up to the Neo-natal Unit.
Lucy Chalmers saw him as he stood outside the door and she went out to him.
"Hello Mr Hart, I was just coming down to talk to you." Jonathan felt the familiar knot of fear in his stomach again.
"What’s happened?" He automatically assumed the worst.
"There has been a slight improvement. We’ve been able to reduce the amount of oxygen your daughter is receiving. So far there is no sign of respiratory distress, which is good. Under the circumstances she is doing as well as we could expect."
"Thank you."
"How is Mrs Hart?"
"She’s doing very well, she’s sleeping at the moment and she’s going to be fine."
"Good… are you coming in to see your daughter?" Lucy asked. Jonathan nodded.
One of the nurses got Jonathan a sterile gown and after he had washed his hands Lucy took him over to the incubator. There was a pink label on the front that Jonathan hadn’t noticed earlier. Written on it in black was the date, "F" denoting female and "Baby Hart". As he looked down at the baby he was aware of a nurse appearing at his side with a chair. Lucy had lifted a receiving blanket and she was opening the side of the incubator. Jonathan looked at her and she smiled at him, "Don’t worry, we think at this stage it’s okay to let you hold her. We’ll need to be careful with the tubes and the wires but we believe that a baby’s contact with its parents is very important in its recovery too." Jonathan hadn’t expected to be able to hold her and was totally unprepared. Actually he was terrified. He sat down in the chair and watched as Lucy expertly lifted the baby, manoeuvred the wires carefully, and took her out of the incubator. Gently she put the soft pink blanket around her and then placed her into Jonathan’s arms. She was so tiny and fragile looking and Jonathan was scared he was going to hurt her. Lucy moved his arm so that he was cradling the baby properly in his left arm and as she relaxed against him Jonathan reached out with his right hand and very gently touched her cheek with his finger. She turned her face towards his touch and opened her eyes. Jonathan looked down into her face and his heart leapt, he smiled, this was the most incredible thing that had ever happened to him.
"Hello little girl. I’m your Daddy…and I love you very much."
Jonathan was allowed to hold her for a few minutes before they put her back in the incubator. Lucy explained the tests they were doing on her and said that she was happy with the progress so far. Jonathan thanked her and went back down to see Jennifer. She was in quite a peaceful sleep and one of the staff had arranged for a reclining chair to be put by her bed so that Jonathan would be as comfortable as possible. He had already made it clear that he wasn’t leaving the hospital that night and nobody had argued with him.
Jonathan dozed off and on for a couple of hours. He was aware of the Nurses coming in to check on Jennifer, taking her blood pressure, checking her temperature and topping up her pain relief. She carried on sleeping off the anaesthetic.
Just before 6 am Jonathan was aware of somebody coming in to the room and he opened his eyes. It was Lucy Chalmers and he immediately stood up.
"Sorry to disturb you." She said quietly.
"No, that’s okay." Jonathan looked at her, willing her to have good news for him.
"My shift is finishing and the daytime shift starting. I have briefed my colleague, Janet Weston, on your daughter’s condition and she will be available to speak to you during the day. Things are fairly quiet in the unit at the moment fortunately."
"How is she…our daughter?"
"She is stable, not a lot of change, no sign of respiratory distress which is good. She is still having some help with her breathing, but if she continues at this level we’ll take her off the ventilator a little later and see how she does on her own. So far so good Mr Hart." Lucy smiled at him. Jonathan nodded.
"Thank you."
While they had been talking neither Jonathan or Lucy noticed that Jennifer had woken up. She lay in silence listening to them, struggling to take in and understand what they were saying, she felt awful, and she was still a bit groggy from the anaesthetic. She wasn’t in a lot of pain, just a heavy dull ache in her abdomen, but she felt as though she had the worst hangover ever. Her head ached and she felt really nauseous.
"Jonathan" Jennifer knew that the word had come from her mouth but it sounded as though somebody else had said it, her head felt like cotton wool. Both Jonathan and Lucy looked at her and Jonathan stepped back to her side. Reaching down he took her hand in his.
"Darling…how do you feel?"
"I hope that I look better than I feel!"
Jonathan smiled at his wife’s flash of humour. "Well I think you look beautiful." He leaned down and brushed her lips with his. "I love you." He told her as he looked in to her eyes. They were full of questions and he spoke to reassure her.
"Jennifer, this is Lucy Chalmers, she is head of the Neo-natal unit, she‘s been looking after our little girl."
Memories of the night before came flooding back and Jennifer felt her eyes fill with tears that quickly spilled down her cheeks. Jonathan leant over and gently wiped her face with his fingers. He smiled at her and he spoke softly. "She’s beautiful Jennifer, she looks like you!"
"Have you seen her, is she going to be okay, you have to tell me the truth Jonathan." Jennifer’s voice was stronger now.
"Yes I have seen her, and I’ve held her. She’s doing well at the moment and we have to hope that she will continue to make progress." Jennifer’s gaze met that of the doctor.
"Your husband is right Mrs Hart. The next 24 hours are what we are concentrating on for now. We are doing tests to try and establish if there has been any permanent damage, at the moment she is on a ventilator but we are hopeful that we can have her breathing on her own soon. For now all the signs are positive, she has a long way to go but she’s going in the right direction." Lucy smiled at Jennifer and added "Your husband is right about one thing though, she is a beautiful baby!"
The door opened and Jonathan turned to see a Nurse and a Doctor coming in.
"Mrs Hart, glad to have you back with us! How do you feel?" The male Doctor approached the bed and Jonathan stepped back. Jennifer looked at him.
"I still don’t really know what happened."
"You had an ante-partum haemorrhage, the baby pulled the placenta away from the wall of the uterus causing the profuse bleeding, we had to do an emergency caesarean. You were still losing blood and so we had to remove your uterus. For a while you were giving us cause for concern as your blood pressure dropped dramatically. You’re doing well now though, your vitals are all what they should be, we’ll have you fully recovered in no time!" He had been very blunt with her, telling her quite casually that they had removed her uterus, like they had taken out a tooth. It was all so unreal, she still felt very weak and her head was still a little fuzzy after the General anaesthetic, there was too much for her to try and understand.
Jonathan stood in between her and the medical staff and looked into her eyes. Leaning towards her he lifted her hand and gently squeezed her fingers. Lowering his voice he told her "Darling, the only important things are that you and the baby get well soon. You are a strong person and I’m sure she’ll be just like you." Pausing a moment he pushed her hair back from her face and smiled at her. "We’ll all be home at Willowpond together before you know it!"
Jennifer nodded. She was frightened. She really needed to see her baby.
"When can I go to her?" They all looked at the doctor.
"As soon as your head is a bit clearer. We can get a wheelchair organised. I just need to make sure that your blood pressure is within normal range and that the anaesthetic has worn off, I don’t want you collapsing on us. That wouldn’t help your baby." Jennifer nodded.
Jonathan pushed Jennifer’s wheelchair from the elevator and along to the Neo-natal unit. They paused outside and Jennifer looked up at Jonathan.
"She’s going to be fine." He tried to reassure her.
"Does the name we chose suit her?"
"Yes, it does. I didn’t call her by name incase we changed our minds but I think it’s a good name for her."
Inside the unit Jonathan stopped at the door, there was a bleeping noise and as he looked around the room he saw that it was coming from their baby’s incubator where 3 members of the medical staff were gathered. Jonathan felt the now familiar knot of fear again and he stood silently watching them. It took a moment for Jennifer to realise that the activity was centred on their daughter.
"Jonathan?"
The doctor turned towards them. "It’s okay, we’ve taken her off the ventilator and the bleeping was the indicator that she’s breathing normally on her own. She’s doing well…come and meet your little girl Mrs Hart, she’s been waiting for you."
Jennifer looked from the doctor to Jonathan and he smiled at her. "Not as long as we‘ve been waiting for her." She said softly.
They manoeuvred Jennifer’s wheelchair alongside the incubator and she got her first look at their child. When she saw her she was completely overwhelmed, she felt like her heart would burst it was so full of love. Jennifer had sometimes worried about how much she would love this baby, the feelings she had for Jonathan were so strong and she didn’t know how she could possibly love another person as much as she did him. This was different though; she had heard people talk about a mother’s love for her child and how it was unconditional. As she looked at their little girl she understood what it meant, for the second time in her life she’d fallen completely in love at first sight. The doctor’s voice brought her back to reality.
"Have you chosen a name for her yet?"
"Her name is Amy." Jennifer said.
Jonathan looked at the doctor and explained. "It’s from the French for love, in English it means beloved…and that is what she is."
Jennifer continued to gaze at the baby, Jonathan stood alongside her and reached down to hold her hand. "Oh Jonathan…she is so tiny, and so beautiful"
They waited while the Doctor finished examining the baby, it took a couple of minutes and then she turned towards them. "I am very pleased with her progress, lets hope she continues to improve at this rate."
"Thanks Doctor" Jonathan smiled "Okay, lets get Mother and Daughter better acquainted now!"
The night light in the room cast a warm glow and Jennifer felt her eyes growing heavy. She was sitting on the rocking chair in the Nursery, Amy was lying against her left shoulder and Jennifer knew from her breathing pattern that she was asleep but she continued to gently rub her back, enjoying the feeling of closeness with her daughter. For Jennifer it was the best feeling in the world, the little warm body totally relaxed against hers, the sweet breath on her neck.
Amy was eight weeks old and a perfectly healthy and absolutely beautiful baby. Both she and Jennifer were fully recovered from their ordeal and the Harts were settled, as a family, into their home at Willowpond.
Jennifer had been back at the Hospital earlier that day and had her second follow up examination. The doctors were very pleased that her internal injuries were entirely healed and said that she could resume her normal pre-pregnancy routine, except for the fact that she would probably require more rest. That would be easy to arrange. Jonathan had organised a live - out housekeeper and he had drastically reduced the amount of time he spent at the office.
Jennifer looked at the clock on the wall, it was almost 3am and she knew that she should put Amy down in her cradle and go to bed herself. For the first few weeks Amy had slept in the cradle in their bedroom but they had recently moved her into the Nursery and were relying on the latest of Baby monitors to hear her if she woke. Because of her problems at birth they also had a breathing monitor which they attached to her foot when she was asleep. Apart from that she was like any normal baby; she had quickly gained weight and was growing and developing, as she should be. Motherhood was everything Jennifer had hoped it would be, and more. The fact that she and Jonathan had spent so many years together just the two of them, and had done so much travelling and had so many adventures, probably meant that they were more ready to spend this time in their lives with a child.
Jonathan rolled over in bed and woke up when he realised Jennifer wasn’t there. He sat up and listened out for her but there was just silence. He knew without a doubt where she would be and he got out of bed.
He stood at the open doors of the Nursery and looked in. Both of his girls were asleep. Jennifer was now cradling Amy in her left arm and the baby’s tiny fingers were wrapped round her Mommy’s. The scene was so beautiful that tears sprang to Jonathan’s eyes as he watched them. After a moment he walked as quietly as he could across the room to the rocking chair. Leaning down he gently lifted Amy’s fingers from Jennifer’s and as he did Jennifer opened her eyes and smiled at him. They shared a tender kiss and then Jennifer let Jonathan lift Amy from her. He held her out so that Jennifer could kiss her head "Good night precious." She whispered, briefly touching her daughter’s cheek. Jonathan held her a moment too then he walked over to Amy’s cradle and kissed her cheek before placing her gently on her back, he attached the sensor for the monitor to her left foot then pulled the blanket up over her.
"Night-night sweetheart…I love you."
Jennifer stood up from the rocker and Jonathan took her hand in his, turning her to face him. He leaned closer to her.
"And I love you." He smiled at her and they shared a lingering kiss. After a moment they moved slightly apart still holding hands.
"I have never been so happy Jennifer…My only sadness is that Amy and Max will never know each other." Jennifer looked into his eyes. She felt the same way as he did. She reached up and placed her hand on his cheek.
"We‘ll tell Amy all about Max when she’s old enough to understand, she’ll know how special he was to us, and how much he would have loved her too."
"He would have, wouldn’t he?" Jonathan asked her. Jennifer nodded.
"She would have been just as precious to him as she is to us."
"I stopped at the door and watched the two of you asleep and I was overwhelmed. I must be the luckiest man alive Jennifer."
"I would say that we are the luckiest couple…we have a wonderful relationship, our health, financial security, and now the greatest gift we could ever have been given – a family of our own." They shared a smile.
Amy sighed contentedly in her sleep and they moved to look down into her cradle. She looked like a little angel, her dark hair was turning to reddish blonde and she was the epitome of a beautiful baby, she looked more and more like her Mommy, although she had her Daddy’s blue eyes. Jonathan looked at Jennifer and their eyes locked.
"Now we have to follow the advice that Max gave us, and live our lives to the full."
"We will. We owe it to Max…we owe it to Amy…and we owe it to ourselves." Jennifer smiled at him and he nodded.
"Come on, let’s get back to bed otherwise we’ll be too tired to do anything!"
Jennifer grinned at him then blew Amy a kiss. Jonathan leaned over the cradle and whispered to her "Sweet dreams."
They looked at her a moment, then they headed back to their bedroom hand in hand -- Ready to live life to the full.
