The bright California sunshine blazed down at the crowds at Malibu Beach. Jennifer and Tom spent the day swimming in the warm Pacific waters, and lounged in the rays, until the crowds began to dissipate and the sun began to set. Tom had not had that much fun in years, and he felt healthier than he had been for some time. He looked over at Jennifer, who was lying on the beach blanket, dozing from the day’s activity. She looked beautiful - her skin was golden brown, setting off the fiery red highlights in her hair.
"Hey, sleepyhead," he said, smiling at her.
"Oh," she groaned, rolling over and sitting up. "Wow, the sun and surf really takes it out of me."
Tom grinned back, delighted to see the freckles that were sprinkled across her cheeks. He had remembered how he used to tease her about her freckles.
"Hey there, Freckles, let’s go get some coffee at the snack stand and walk the beach. The sunset should be beautiful tonight."
Jennifer laughed. "Thank you for reminding me about the freckles…sure, let’s get some coffee," she said, getting up and slipping on a coverall.
She had hoped to get back home by dinnertime to be with Jonathan, but Tom seemed to be having such a good time at the ocean. She wouldn’t have felt right cutting their day short.
Drinking coffee from paper cups, they walked along the water’s edge, enjoying the changing colors hanging over the horizon.
"It’s times like these that I’m reminded of how precious life is," he said, stopping to look out over the water.
Jennifer stood quietly by his side.
"Jennifer, I have something important to ask you," he said looking into her eyes. Her compassionate expression encouraged him on.
"What is it?"
"I’ve been thinking about how I want to spend my remaining time – six months is what the doctors give me," he began, drawing a heavy sigh. It was the first time he had been able to really talk about it. Jennifer looked away, wincing at the reality of the situation.
"Anyhow, I was thinking about what I wanted to do before I died…and you know what it is…what I want more than anything?"
Jennifer shook her head, thinking about all the possibilities – flying an airplane… traveling around the world.
"I want to spend a night with you. I want to make love to you," he said, his eyes pleading for understanding.
Jennifer’s mouth dropped open, unable to comprehend the request. Tom watched her try to respond, and then delicately placed a finger against her lips.
"Jennifer, I know you are happily married and you’re committed to Jonathan – I can see that," he explained. "I want you to understand. You see, I’ve always loved you…"
Jennifer opened her mouth to respond, but he hushed her again.
"I have, Jennifer. Ever since our college days I’ve loved you. I know you don’t feel the same way about me. I had always hoped that I would find someone else like you – someone just as beautiful and intelligent and caring, but I never did…Jennifer, it would be my dying wish," he said, holding her hand, "to be able to make love to you just one time, that’s all I ask."
Jennifer took in a deep breath and slowly exhaled. She looked into his eyes, which were bereft with pain.
"I don’t know what to say, Tom," she said, meaning it. She had not ever considered sleeping with another man. The very thought seemed unimaginable…and yet, Tom’s request was one couched in mercy and compassion. What would Jonathan think?
"Don’t say anything, Jennifer. Please just think about it."
It was just after eight o’clock when Jennifer and Tom arrived at 3100 Willow Pond Drive, spending a very quiet ride back. When they got in, Jonathan was waiting for them.
"I was about to put out an APB on you two," he said, kissing Jennifer.
She smiled. "Sorry, it got so late. It was a beautiful sunset and we didn’t want to miss it."
Tom shook Jonathan’s hand. "It’s a pleasure to be here, Jonathan. Thank you for the hospitality."
"Not at all. It’s our pleasure. Care for some dinner?" Jonathan said, sliding his arm around Jennifer’s waist.
"I hate to be a party pooper, but I’m really wiped out. I think I’m just going to get to bed," Tom replied, knowing that Jennifer would want time alone with Jonathan. He turned and made his way up the stairs.
"Is it me or does he sleep a lot?" Jonathan asked.
"Darling, I need to talk to you about some things," she said carefully.
Jonathan pulled her close. "Hey, I love those freckles," he said, kissing her on the lips.
Jennifer groaned. "Thank you…now let’s eat some dinner and go upstairs. We have a lot to discuss."
"I have a better idea: let’s go upstairs and then eat dinner," he said slyly.
"Jonathan, you have a one-track mind!"
"I can’t help myself when I’m around you…it must be those freckles."
"Oh, please, enough about the freckles," she said, scoldingly.
"What?!"
"He wants to spend a night with me," Jennifer said, matter-of-factly. She had just settled into bed, gathering the silk sheets around her.
Jonathan slipped into bed beside her and scratched his head. "You mean, he wants to have sex with you."
"Well…that’s not the way I was looking at it…but, yes," she said, biting the inside of her cheek.
"He just came right out and said that?"
"Jonathan, it’s his dying wish."
"Whatever happened to a trip to Disney World?"
"Jonathan, that’s not funny."
Jonathan frowned. Both of them sat quietly, reviewing the situation in their heads.
"What are you thinking?" Jennifer finally asked him.
"I’m thinking that I can’t stand the thought of you with another man," he said seriously. "I’m thinking that it angers me that he even asked…and I’m wondering if this isn’t all just a fabrication."
"Jonathan, you think he’d lie about having cancer?" she asked incredulously.
"Well, who knows? It’s a pretty desperate measure, but maybe he’s making it up so that he can have sex with you!" Jonathan countered, his anger rising.
Jennifer couldn’t hide her disappointment. "I saw the medication he takes…I see how the cancer has taken away his energy," she said and then paused. "And I know when Tom is telling the truth. Believe me, I wish it were a lie." Tears welled in her eyes.
Jonathan sat sullenly, taking it all in. He wondered what it would be like to have six months to live, if that really was all the time Tom had left. He imagined all the things he would want to do – sail for days on the wide open sea…wander in the woods listening for the calls of nature… but most of all, he would want to spend every precious minute with the woman he loved. Suddenly, Tom’s desire to be intimate with Jennifer seemed to make perfect sense.
Jennifer sat quietly, the tears drying against her cheeks. She wondered if she could ever make love to another man – not that she hadn’t had other lovers. But, that was long ago, much before she met Jonathan. It wasn’t her body that she felt uncomfortable about – it was the emotional connection.
"Maybe," Jonathan said thoughtfully, "I’m just being selfish. I mean, this man is dying and he wants to enjoy one last pleasure. I certainly can’t blame him for his choice."
Jennifer looked at Jonathan, unable to come to any conclusion. Either way, she would disappoint someone.
Jennifer sighed. "What do you think I should do?"
Jonathan paused and turned to look at her. "It’s your body…It’s your decision. You have my support whatever you decide to do."
Jennifer smiled lovingly at him. "I love you," was all she could say.
"So show me," he said, smiling back.
Simone pulled up to the gated driveway and rang the buzzer.
"May I help you?" the disembodied voice asked.
"This is Simone Caswell. I’m here to see Justine Thurston."
Several moments passed before the voice returned. "Come in."
The large, cast-iron gates swung open. Sliding back into her red Jaguar, she drove up the long driveway and parked in front of the sprawling mansion. Eagerly, she approached the front door and was met by the Thurston butler. As she entered the foyer, Justine came down the spiral staircase, dressed in blue jeans and a sweater – a striking departure from her usual sophisticated attire.
"Simone, to what do I owe this pleasure?" Justine asked suspiciously.
Simone smiled and then cast a disapproving look at the butler, who quickly disappeared.
"Justine, how well do you know Jonathan Hart?" she said, her high highs clicking against the marble floor as she walked.
"Why do you ask?" Justine replied guardedly.
"Well, is it true that you and Mr. Hart had an affair?"
Justine’s eyes narrowed. "That was a long time ago."
"Yes, I know."
"Well, what is this about then?"
"I’m doing a story for the Midnight Star, and Jonathan Hart is going to be the feature this week," Simone said, staring intently at Justine.
"What kind of a story," Justine said sarcastically. "I’m sure it’s not about what a great guy he is – which he is, by the way."
"Now, now, Justine," Simone said, waving her finger. "Let’s not forget who gave you your start. If it weren’t for the Midnight Star’s exposé on you, you would never have been noticed by Hollywood. In fact, I would say you owe the magazine quite a bit, judging from the success you’ve achieved."
"I’ve worked very hard for this, Simone," Justine said emphatically.
"I’m sure you have," she said scathingly. "So, I’m sure you wouldn’t want to see it all disappear… which it would, of course, if people found out about your criminal past."
Justine pursed her lips. She could feel her blood pressure rising.
"What do you want me to do?" she said finally.
"Let’s sit down and you can begin by telling me everything about your affair with Jonathan Hart."
Tom stood in the Hart’s living room, taking in the magnificence of the space. If only I could have done this in my lifetime, he reflected. Walking over to the piano, he lifted a picture of Jonathan and Jennifer engaged in a kiss. Tom smiled and traced his finger around Jennifer’s profile. He was glad that she had found happiness, even if it weren’t with him.
Suddenly, he heard the front door open and Jonathan appeared. Quickly replacing the picture, Tom walked nervously toward him.
"Hello, Jonathan," Tom said tentatively.
Jonathan gave him a forced smile. "Hi Tom…where’s Jennifer?"
"She’s doing some errands – said she’d be back before dinner."
Jonathan nodded. Both stood awkwardly, not knowing what to say.
Jonathan finally spoke. "Jennifer told me about your …," he began, searching for the right words.
"My special request?" Tom said, looking up and attempting a smile.
Jonathan chuckled in spite of himself. "Yes."
"Jonathan, I just want you to know that I mean no disrespect. It’s a very difficult thing to ask."
"I’m sure it was," he conceded.
"You’re a very lucky man, Jonathan," Tom said, looking down at the photograph again. "I’ve never met anyone like her…and believe me, I’ve tried. In a way, she spoiled me. After knowing her, no other woman has compared."
"I understand."
Tom looked up. "Do you?" he asked helplessly.
"And just so you know, I told Jennifer that it was her decision. Whatever she decides to do, I’ll give her my blessing… but I do want to point out the fact that you’ve put her in a difficult predicament. She feels like she’s damned if she does, and damned if she doesn’t," Jonathan said, unable to hide his annoyance.
"I’m sorry she feels that way," Tom answered quietly.
"Neither of us is trying to make her feel that way…but, we both have to respect whatever decision she makes."
"Absolutely," Tom replied firmly.
Jonathan hoped that he could be so confident.
The break room on the fifth floor at Hart Industries was buzzing with activity. It seemed that every employee had arrived early, eager to share the gossip that was on everyone’s lips. Harriet was no exception – she boldly brought the Midnight Star in and laid it out on the break room table.
"I still can’t believe it," Marge cried out.
"Oh, Marge, you’ve spent too much time in the ledger books," Harriet teased. "Let’s face it, Mr. Hart is a good-looking man with a lot of money – of course he’s had his fair share of ladies!"
"No way… he and Mrs. Hart are the perfect couple. He wouldn’t cheat on her," Kelly spoke up.
"Why would he need to cheat on her anyway? If I were married to Mrs. Hart, I’d be the happiest man on the earth," Joe chimed in. Kelly nudged him.
"Well, according to this article, Mr. Hart has a history of fooling around," Harriet sniffed.
"Are you really going to believe this rag?" Kelly chuckled, shaking her head at Harriet.
"Mr. Hart and Justine Thurston? Sure, I believe it. Hey, this so-called rag was right about Princess Diana’s affair, wasn’t it?" Harriet retorted triumphantly and strode out of the room.
The remaining crew looked nervously at each other and scattered quickly. Making sure she was the last one out, Marge scooped up the magazine and darted back to the accounting office.
Jonathan waited on the phone while Max summoned Jennifer. He was seething mad over the events of the morning, and he had to warn her.
"Darling?" he said when he heard her pick up.
"Yes…and I know why you’re calling," she said sounding tired.
"How did you know?"
"Oh, I’ve already received about five phone calls from friends telling me about it."
"This has gotten way out of hand," he said, slapping the magazine on his desk, "and I know who’s behind it."
"You do?"
"Yes…can you meet me at the L’Orangerie for lunch? I’ll tell you all about it," he said, calming down a bit.
"Okay," Jennifer said, pausing, "and darling, don’t let all these lies get the best of you, all right?"
Jonathan grimaced. "Don’t worry," he said.
There was only one problem: they weren’t all lies.
Jennifer sat at the L’Orangerie wondering if Jonathan had chosen the right place to meet. She couldn’t help noticing the stares from people around her. Nervously shifting in her seat, she looked around for her husband. Surely all of these people couldn’t have read the Midnight Star, she thought to herself.
Finally, she noticed his confident figure stride across the restaurant – and dozens of pairs of eyes following him. He leaned over and kissed her.
"Darling," he smiled and sat down.
She smiled politely, feeling as if they were on display. "Jonathan" she spoke softly, "I feel very conspicuous. I guess the gossip mills have been working overtime."
"Yes, they certainly do in this town."
"Do we have to stay here? How can we possibly talk?"
"We can talk. They haven’t got the table bugged," he said wearily.
"We aren’t going to stage another break-up, are we?" she asked, remembering a past escapade.
Jonathan laughed. "No. I have no intention of breaking up with you – staged or not," he said, taking her hand.
"So, what is all this nonsense in the Midnight Star about?"
"Well, the editor, Simone Caswell, paid me a visit last week asking for an exclusive interview, which I turned down. She was not happy, and she basically said she’d get even. I guess this was her idea."
"I wonder why she chose Justine Thurston to drag into it. I’ll bet she’s pretty upset too, being falsely quoted like that!" Jennifer said, anger rising in her voice.
Jonathan looked down at his plate and frowned. "Well, Justine and I did have a relationship a long time ago… that’s probably why Simone chose her." He waited for Jennifer’s reply.
She looked at him quizzically. "You did? What kind of a relationship?" Jennifer watched Jonathan’s expression carefully. A knot began to form in her stomach when Jonathan avoided her eyes.
"We…had an affair…a long time ago before I met you," he said.
"How long ago?"
"It was the early seventies."
"You had an affair with her?" Jennifer replied. "Wasn’t she married?"
"She was in the process of getting a divorce."
Jennifer felt the color in her cheeks. "Jonathan, why didn’t you ever tell me this? She’s been a guest in our house and you never told me?"
"I don’t know. It wasn’t that I purposely kept it from you. It just never came up," he said, wondering if he was being honest with himself.
Confused, Jennifer rubbed her forehead. "Oh Jonathan, I don’t know what to think. What a week this has been," she said wearily.
He reached out to stroke her cheek, but she pulled back.
"Let’s just finish lunch," she said.
Jonathan opened his mouth, but thought better of it. He made a mental note to plan a quiet evening for just the two of them.
Jennifer sat thoughtfully at her desk, pondering the issue that had been on her mind for days. She was glad that Max had decided to take Tom with him to Las Vegas for the weekend – it gave her time to mull over a decision…a decision she would need to make soon. Tom was planning to leave for London in just four days.
Looking down, her eye caught the cover of the Midnight Star that Max had brought home. She grimaced at the headline: Hart’s Torrid Affair with Justine Thurston. Two pictures, one of Jonathan and one of Justine, were superimposed on each other, making it appear as if they were cheek to cheek. Jennifer started to open the magazine, but could not bring herself to read the article. The thought of Jonathan and Justine together left a sour taste in her mouth. Justine had been to their house at least twice that she could remember, both times attending parties that the Harts had thrown.
Suddenly, the phone rang next to her, making her jump.
"Hello?"
"Hello. Is Jonathan home?"
Jennifer’s heart skipped a beat. She knew who was calling.
"He’s not home yet. Can I take a message?" Jennifer replied matter-of-factly.
"Oh…is this Jennifer?" she said cautiously. "This is Justine Thurston."
Jennifer took a deep breath. "Yes, Justine. He’s still at work. Do you want him to call you when he gets home?"
"Ah…no, that’s all right. I’ll get in touch with him another time," she said sounding disappointed.
"Okay," Jennifer replied.
Both women lingered on the line silently, neither knowing what to say, until Jennifer said goodbye.
"Darling?" Jonathan called out from the foyer.
"In here," she replied, hanging up the phone.
He walked over to her and kissed her cheek. "So, we’re all alone tonight?"
"Yes, Max took Tom with him to Vegas."
"I know. It was my idea," he said, grinning. "I wanted you all to myself."
Jennifer mustered a smile. "Oh."
Jonathan frowned at her lack of enthusiasm.
"Why don’t you go upstairs and take a nice hot bath and change into something comfortable. I’ll make up a tray and we can have dinner in bed. How does that sound?" he said, hoping to pique her interest.
"Okay," she answered half-heartedly.
Jennifer lay in the bathtub, letting her head rest against the back of the tub. The warm water enveloped her body, allowing the tension in her legs and stomach to dissolve. Jonathan was right on the money about the bath, she thought to herself. Closing her eyes, her thoughts drifted to Tom and her memories of college with him. She knew he had always had a crush on her; it was obvious in the way he looked at her from time to time and the way he would do little things to brighten her day. It was not unusual for a rose to show up on her desk…or a stuffed teddy bear bearing the message "A hug for you".
It wasn’t that she had found Tom unattractive. On the contrary, he was quite handsome and she knew that many of her female classmates were more than a little envious of their relationship. Still, he felt like a big brother to her, despite the evening he had "confessed" his love for her. The details of that night were becoming clearer to her now. She remembered how he had arrived at her apartment with a fresh bouquet of daffodils…how he had told her how beautiful she was…and how he had kissed her passionately on the lips. She had pulled herself away from him, confused and angry…and then tried unsuccessfully to describe her feelings for him. He had left that night dejected – she knew it, but there was nothing she could do. Luckily, the next day he acted as if nothing had happened, and she decided to do the same.
While Jennifer was lying sleepily in the tub, Jonathan quietly entered the bathroom. He was surprised - and delighted - to find her completely unaware of his presence in the room. He picked up a bottle of cleansing lotion and poured it into the palm of his hand. Lathering it into his hands, he knelt beside the tub and began delicately massaging her shoulders. His touch yanked her out of her daydream.
"You startled me," she said looking up at him.
Jonathan just smiled and continued massaging. Closing her eyes again, she let her husband’s strong hands knead her.
"Justine called for you," she said, not opening her eyes. Jonathan’s hands suddenly stopped.
"She did? What did she say?" Jonathan asked, beginning to move his hands slowly.
"Nothing. She just asked if you were home and said she’d call you back another time," Jennifer replied.
"Jennifer," he said, taking his hands away.
"What?"
He paused, struggling to find the words. "I never loved Justine Thurston. You are the only woman I have ever loved."
She turned her head to look at him, but said nothing. It wasn’t that she doubted his words. There was something else that bothered her, but she wasn’t quite sure what it was.
"I know," she replied, sinking lower into the tub.
"Well, if you know, why are you acting like this…like I’ve betrayed you or something?" he said seriously.
Jennifer closed her eyes for a few moments. "I guess, in a way, I do feel betrayed… Justine Thurston has been a guest in this house and you never said a word about your history with her. Why, Jonathan?" she said.
Jonathan rubbed his chin. "I don’t know," he said, meaning it.
"Can you pass me my robe?" she asked, not making eye contact.
Jonathan tried to figure out what it was that he couldn’t put into words – what he could possibly say that would make her feel better. Suddenly, a thought occurred to him…a clear and simple thought.
"Because I’m ashamed," he announced, looking her straight in the eye. The very act of stating it somehow lifted a weight from him.
Jennifer’s eyes met his, and she waited for more.
"I’m ashamed about my affair with Justine. It was a very…difficult time for her. She was divorcing her husband and she was very needy…" Jonathan began, recalling the events of that summer in 1973.
Jennifer sat up, wanting to hear everything.
"We had met at a party and she was very flirtatious. I took her out and we ended up going back to her place and talking…she was very emotional…she seemed to need assurance that she was still desirable. One thing led to another, and I spent the night," Jonathan continued, drawing a deep breath. "After that, we continued with the relationship, even though I knew she was not really interested in me, nor I in her. It took me several months to finally pull away from her…it’s a time of my life that I’m not particularly proud of.
"She became a successful actress years later and I was happy for her. She re-married and seems to be content. Occasionally, I bump into her at different social functions, but we don’t ever talk about that time. I think she’s just as embarrassed about it as I am. When she came to the parties at our house, I didn’t even think about it. I think we’ve both put it behind us."
He looked directly into Jennifer’s eyes, searching for understanding. He found it.
"Thank you for telling me this," she said gently, and then smiled at him.
He smiled back. "You know, it’s not easy for men – well, this man anyway – to always know how to express his feelings. I don’t know how you women do it."
"Mmmm," she said, leading him into the bedroom. "You’re much better at demonstrating your feelings."
Jonathan smiled his boyish grin. "You better believe it."
"Darling?" Jonathan whispered into her ear.
She rocked slowly, comforted by her husband’s strong arm around her waist. Their love-making had sent her into a blissful sleep; her body fully relaxed and welcoming of his every touch.
"Mmm?" she replied without opening an eye.
Jonathan brushed the cluster of auburn curls away from her cheek and kissed her lightly. The scent and warmth of her neck heated his face as he lingered. He could feel himself becoming aroused, his loins aching to be inside her again.
But what he wanted to do was to talk about her decision…her decision about Tom. They had not discussed it in days, and Jonathan knew that Tom was preparing to leave for London soon.
The thought of Tom touching Jennifer this way both sickened him, and yet, strangely, excited him. In the privacy of his own mind, Jonathan sometimes fantasized of watching Jennifer make love to another man – there was something titillating about seeing her from a distance being pleasured. Of course, he had never spoken of this fantasy, nor would he have ever wanted it to become a reality.
Jennifer’s eyes fluttered open. "What are you thinking about?"
Jonathan’s face reddened. "I was just thinking how beautiful you are when you’re asleep."
"Oh, really?" she chuckled.
"Darling?"
"Yes?" she said, knowing he had more to say.
"I was wondering if you had decided about Tom."
"Yes, I have…"
