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"What? Principal Snyder what?! Dear God!" Giles exclaimed, grasping the phone harder.
"Yeah, I know. Dead. D…E…A…D," Xander spelled it out.
"I get the point!" Giles was having trouble keeping a clear head.
"But don’t worry. Willow’s taking advantage of his untimely death. She switching Buffy’s records," Xander said excitedly.
"She’s what?!" Giles asked again.
"Do you have a hearing problem? I said she’s switching Buffy’s school---"
"I HEARD YOU, XANDER!" Giles yelled.
"Gosh, sorry Mr. Cranky," Xander pouted.
"What is she going to do to the records?" Giles questioned.
"Oh, nothing much. Just taking off the little blemish that says she was expelled from her other school for burning down the gym. Oh, yeah. She’s also taking off that Buffy was expelled from our school. Buffy could come to school on Monday and go to all of her regular classes like nothing ever happened," Xander said brightly.
"Well, so much for grieving for the dead," Giles sighed.
"So, we should call Buffy now, right?" Xander asked hopefully.
"Absolutely not! If she knows that we know where she is, she might panic and run further away! Then we’d have to go through the mess of finding her all over again," Giles explained. "Well, what are we supposed to do?! We can’t just leave her there! Especially not with Spike!" Xander said, exasperated.
"Our best bet would be to just go there and find her in person, then we could talk and she wouldn’t be able to hang up on us," Giles said.
"Alright! Finally, a plan!" Xander exclaimed. "I’ll call Willow and tell her that we’re leaving!"
"Hold on! We can’t leave right now! We have to plan some more. We can talk about it tomorrow at school."
Xander let out a frustrated groan and hung up. Giles looked at the phone and then put it down.
"People have been hanging up on me a lot lately," Giles said to himself.
* * *
Buffy woke up, but didn’t open her eyes. She found that she was resting her head on a man’s chest. She was confused because she didn’t remember going to bed or falling asleep. In fact, she couldn’t remember anything that had happened the previous day.
She moved her hand up the man’s stomach slightly, and could feel his stomach muscles. Angel! It was Angel! The chest didn’t rise and fall with breath because Angel had no need to breathe. As she realized this, she snuggled her head closer to him and rapped her arms around his waist. My Angel, she thought.
Spike tensed up a little when she did this. He wasn’t sure why she had done it. She must still be asleep, he thought. Because he doubted that she would have done this if she was awake. Still, Spike felt a little nervous with the Slayer clinging to his waist.
Buffy opened her eyes slightly. That’s strange, she thought again, Angel doesn’t usually wear red. In fact, he always wears black. Buffy was puzzled. Then she noticed something else. This man didn’t smell right. Not like he smelled bad, he just didn’t smell the way Angel did. Suddenly, all of the memories of the night before came flooding back to her. She jumped off the bed and turned around to face him.
"Spike!" she exclaimed.
"Hmm?" he cocked an eyebrow at her.
"What…how did I…sorry about that, I…um…thought you were someone else," Buffy tried to explain.
"But isn’t that always the way?" he sighed deeply, "Oh well, come back over here. You were keeping me warm." That’s right Spike, keep it calm and cool.
"I---I don’t remember…last night," Buffy said as she sat in the chair.
"Oh, don’t worry. You didn’t miss much. What’s the last thing you remember?" he asked her.
"Um…well…teeth…in my neck," Buffy said.
"Oh yes, that’s right. Well, after I finished, you fainted. Probably from blood loss. So, I carried you over to the bed to let you sleep. Then I sat on the other side. Now I must remind you that I made sure you were completely on the other side of the bed. Not close to me at all. But somehow, you inched your way over here and grabbed hold of me," Spike grinned.
"Um…I was dreaming, that’s all," Buffy answered. "Did I…um…do anything else last night? You know, like something weird?" she asked.
"Well," Spike answered, "you did start kissing me but I put a stop to that immediately," he grinned even wider. It took a moment for Buffy to realize that he was kidding.
She got up and walked toward to the bathroom, but then turned and punched Spike in the jaw.
"Snack on that for a while, Fang," she growled as she headed toward the bathroom again. Spike heard the door close.
"What a woman!" he exclaimed feeling his jaw then checking for blood.
"Hey! How did I get into my pajamas?!" Buffy yelled from the bathroom. Spike looked up, surprised, and then hid under the bed.
* * *
Joyce paced back and forth in her living room. She had just gotten a call from Giles telling her that they were going to go find Buffy in Calamida, and they’d be back soon. She insisted on going, but then Giles told her that she better not. He said it might upset Buffy even more.
She was very worried about Buffy, like any parent would be if it were their child. Buffy had never been on her own before. She was staying in a hotel with a strange man. Not just any man, but her ex-worst enemy. He probably could have made a meal of Buffy already. All Joyce wanted was to have her daughter home again. So that maybe she could apologize. Apologize for being so blind. How could she have not noticed what Buffy was up to? Joyce felt bad for acting so irrationally when she found out about her daughter’s duty. It was just her parental instinct.
Now her baby was gone. Expelled. Boyfriendless. Gone. Joyce felt like she was the reason Buffy ran away. She knew it was silly to blame it all on herself, but she did anyway. She might not ever see her daughter again. It was her fault.
Part 5
"I think we’re here," Giles said as he pulled up to Buffy’s hotel. It was night, and the streetlights glowed brightly.
"Great! Let’s find her!" Xander exclaimed, jumping out of the car.
"Xander, wait!" Willow called, "You can’t just barge in on her right now!"
"I’m afraid she’s right," Giles explained, "We’ll just have to find somewhere to wait until she comes out."
"But I don’t wanna be patient!" Xander whined. Giles gave him a look and then he started toward the ally next to the hotel. Willow and Xander followed. After they reached the ally, Giles turned around.
"We’ll wait for her here. When she comes out of the building, we’ll follow her and slowly walk up to her. I’ll do the explaining."
"It’s nice to feel needed," Willow said. They all sat down, watching the building, and waiting. * * *
Buffy was sitting on top of Spike, who was on the floor. She held a stake just inches above his heart. She glared at him.
"Okay, Spike, what did you do?" she asked angrily.
"What? I didn’t do anything! You had your pj’s on when I came back from lurking!" he defended.
"No I didn’t. I should know," she said, her temper rising.
"Come now, ducks. There’s no reason to do anything absurd here. Even if I had done it, is that really a reason to dust me? Listen, I’m sorry if you think so low of me, love, but I didn’t do anything," he pleaded. Buffy jumped off him and growled in anger.
"I can’t take this anymore! I’m surrounded by the undead! I’m leaving!" she yelled, and with that, she stomped out the door. Spike lay there stunned for a moment then got up and ran after her.
Xander, who was keeping watch at the moment, hit Giles and exclaimed, "There she is!"
Buffy walked out of the double doors of the hotel. She was walking down the steps when Spike came running out the doors, too.
"Buffy!" he called. He ran after her and caught her by the wrist. She spun around.
"What?" she yelled in irritation.
"I…" Come on Spike buddy, it’s now or never, he told himself. Spike grabbed Buffy by the shoulders and pulled her toward him. He kissed her. At first she fought it, but then she loosened up and kissed him back.
"Oh my God!" Willow gasped in amazement as Giles and Xander stared, open-mouthed.
And somewhere in the deep underworld, a piercing scream ran through the dark. Angel. Xander’s heart was making the same sound. When Spike heard it, he only kissed her more hungrily. How do you like it, Angel? he thought.
Part 6
"Let's go," Xander said. He started walking away.
"But Xander! Buffy…" Willow called after him. He kept walking so she got up and ran after him. Giles sighed, then he too followed.
They were half way across the street when Spike pulled away from Buffy. She looked up at him, then pretended to be mad.
"Spike, what the---" she was cut off because she noticed he was staring behind her. He cursed under his breath.
"Looks like your friends are a team of bloody peeping toms," he said as he turned her around. She saw them.
"Xander! Willow! Giles!" she yelled after them. They stopped. Buffy started running toward them. Spike was close behind. When Buffy got close enough, she jumped into Xander's arms.
"Oh my God, you have no idea how good it is to see you guys!" she jumped out of Xander's embrace and gave Willow a big bear hug.
"We thought we'd never see you again, Buffy," Xander said quietly.
"We missed you so much, Buffy!" Willow smiled widely.
"I never thought I'd say this, but I even missed training with you," Giles blushed slightly.
"Giles…" Buffy gave him a hug.
During this whole time, Spike had stayed a few feet behind, in the shadows. He was hoping to go unnoticed, but soon enough, Xander was staring in his direction.
"Oh, yeah…um…Spike, why don't you come over and say hello?" he challenged. Spike stepped slowly into the circle of friends.
"Hello. My name is Spike. I have a bloody soul. Nice to make your acquaintance," he said coldly. He was very angry about the spying they did on him when he kissed Buffy. But he was almost happy that they saw that, because then they would know that he had a soul, and there wouldn't be any questions about it.
They were all staring at him, and he knew what they were thinking. Why had he kissed Buffy? The truth was, he really didn't know. He decided that it would be easiest to just try and explain right here, so he didn't have to worry about it later.
"I suppose you're all wondering why I kissed Buffy. You're probably thinking that there's some easy explanation. Well guess what? Love isn't that bloody easy to explain, now is it?" he looked around at them, then continued, "I don't know what made me do it. All I know is love played a small part.
Perhaps maybe a little guilt, possibly some need, heck, even some bloody revenge. All I know is I can't explain it but I thought I'd get it over with since I don't feel like answering any bloody questions."
After he finished, he looked around again. They all just stared. Then he looked at Buffy, with pleading in his eyes. She smiled slightly, but only for a moment. It wasn't that noticeable, just the small lifting of one side of her mouth. But he saw it.
"Why don't we all go into my room and talk?" Buffy suggested, breaking the silence.
"Um…yes, I suppose that would be wise," Giles answered. They all headed toward the double doors. Buffy and Willow hung back a bit.
"What was that all about?" Willow asked Buffy in a hushed tone.
"I'm not sure. It all started out when I went to this gas station…" Buffy started out her story. Spike, who had extremely good hearing, listened to every word. After she finished, Willow looked at her, wide-eyed.
"He changed you?!" she exclaimed. Spike lowered his head and smirked.
"Well he says he didn't. I don't know, maybe he's telling the truth," she said, "It's all kind of sweet, though. I mean, he's really romantic, and he knows the kind of things to say. He is kinda cute, don't ya think?"
"Buffy!" Willow exclaimed. They had reached her room, so they had to stop their private little chat. Spike was beaming. So, the Slayer actually noticed him, huh?
Buffy unlocked the door and they all crowded in. Buffy sat down on the bed. Spike moved to sit beside her, but Xander got there first. Willow and Giles sat in the two chairs. Spike looked around. There was nowhere else to sit but on the floor. Buffy looked up at him. Her eyes said she was sorry.
"Y'know, I think I'll go for a short walk," Spike said as he headed toward the door.
"Spike…" Buffy said.
"Oh, don't you worry, love. I won't be but a few minutes, an hour at the most. It depends," and with that, he left.
"Yeah, on how good the hunting is," Xander said as the door shut. Buffy elbowed him in the gut.
"So, Buffy. Looks like you've been up to a lot lately," Xander said, rubbing his stomach, "Care to fill us in…love?" Buffy glared at him.
"Well, as you all know, Spike got his soul back. We met up when I got attacked by six vamps at the gas station. He saved my life. Then I brought him back with me because he didn't have anywhere to stay. We've pretty much just hung out the whole time," she explained.
"And at night?" Xander questioned.
"I go to sleep like any normal person does," she answered.
"What does he do?" Xander asked.
"I believe that's Spike's business, but if you must know, he lurks," she answered, "He takes walks and just thinks."
"And eats," Xander said under his breath. A little louder he said, "Surly he can't lurk all night. What does he do after he lurks?"
"What am I, on trial? If you really want to know, Xander, why don't you ask him yourself? I'm sure he wouldn't bite you, and if he does, it doesn't hurt." Buffy immediately regretted saying that. But this time it wasn't Xander who asked the question.
"And how do you know that, Buffy?" Giles asked her with a stern face. She bit her lip.
"Buffy?" Willow asked. Buffy hadn't told her about that part.
"Well, I had to let him. He was gonna die," she answered. They all gasped.
"That man sucked you neck?!" Xander yelled.
"He hadn't eaten in two days, you guys! He tried to talk me out of it, but I wouldn't let him. Plus, he didn't take that much. I'm okay, aren't I?"
"Who knows? You could have rabies, Buffy! First you let him stay in your hotel room, and now this? If I were the Slayer, I would have killed him the minute I laid eyes on him!" Xander exploded. Of course, this was definitely the wrong thing to say. Buffy's eyes clouded over with anger.
"Then why don't you try it? Why don't you try risking your life every day of the week?" she erupted, "Don't you know how much it hurts? I had to kill my true love because of my sacred duty! I did that, and I still have to look at myself in the mirror every day! I'm lucky to still have my sanity, buddy!" her eyes welled with in tears, "It's not like I enjoy killing people! Is that what you think? You think this is some joyride for me?" she couldn't say any more because her body was convulsing with sobs.
"Buffy, I…" Xander tried to explain.
"Shut up, Xander!" Willow got up to comfort her friend. Buffy turned away from her.
Just then the door swung open and Spike came walking in. He saw Buffy in tears again and rushed toward her. He grabbed her shoulders and turned her to face him. He lifted her head up.
"Buffy?" he looked into her eyes. She sobbed even harder.
"Oh dear, not again," he said as he pulled her towards him. She rested her head on his shoulder and cried.
"It's alright, love," he whispered. He looked at Xander questioningly. Xander shrugged and looked down. Spike smoothed Buffy's hair.
"I don't get it. She wouldn't let me comfort her, and I'm her best friend," Willow looked at Spike, hurt.
"Don't worry, pet," he said to Willow, "We've gone through this before. I'm just the expert, I guess." He winked at her then pulled away from Buffy. He looked at her again.
"You going to be alright, ducks?" he asked her. She nodded slowly. He walked her over to the bed.
"Up you go, midget," he said to Xander. Xander glared at him for a moment, then got up. Spike and Buffy sat down. Buffy looked up and wiped her tears. Spike put his arm around her protectively.
"Alright, what happened? Honestly, I leave you alone for five bloody minutes…" he drifted off.
"You must've gone for fast food," Xander said, angrily. Spike looked up at him and growled slightly.
"Listen, sonny, I know good and well that her best friend wouldn't have upset her so much. The bloody librarian probably didn't either. So, I'm only going to ask you once. What did you do?"
"Why do you care? She's just a meal to you!" Xander said, his voice rising. Spike gaped at him. "Yeah, that's right. She told us about your little midnight snack."
"Um…you know, guys, I'm hungry," Giles said, changing the subject.
"Me too!" Willow said, glad that the uncomfortable discussion was over. "Buffy?"
"Yeah, now that I think about it, I am," she admitted.
"Why don't we go find somewhere to eat?" Giles asked.
"Sounds good to me," Buffy said.
"You know, you go on ahead, pet. I'll think I'll stay right here," Spike told Buffy.
"Yeah, I'm not hungry. I think I'll stay here, if you don't mind," Xander said.
Giles nodded and headed toward the door. Willow followed. Then Buffy went, too. Spike watched her that whole way. Right before she shut the door, she turned around and looked at Spike. She mouthed the word 'behave', then shut the door quietly. Xander hadn't seen her because he was looking out the window. When he heard the door close, he turned to Spike.
"Why are you doing this to her?" he finally asked. Spike looked at him, confused.
"I don't think I know what you mean," Spike answered. Xander glared at him.
"You don't love her, but she thinks you do. The only reason she thinks that is because she's vulnerable," Xander paused, "She lost Angel and she's so alone that she leans toward the only possible comfort. You just happened to be there."
"So you're saying, Mr. Psychiatrist, that it could have bloody well easily been you," Spike said angrily, "You don't think vampires are capable of love. That's why you despised Angel, that's why you despise me. Well I have a bloody news flash for you, kid: I love her and she knows it. The only bloody reason you're so upset about all of this is because she doesn't care if you love her!" Xander got up and punched Spike in the jaw.
"You're the one that's watching her at night!" Xander yelled. "Or maybe there's something more than watching and lurking. Buffy told me to ask you myself, so I will. What do you do when Buffy sleeps?"
"I lurk," Spike answered simply.
"And?" Xander questioned. Spike's eyes clouded over in anger.
"Listen you bloody twerp, not all vampires are that way! Okay, so maybe I did change her…ahem…nevermind," Xander looked at him questioningly, "The point is, I've been a perfect gentleman and I don't care what you bloody well think, because I haven't done anything." Spike glared at him for a moment.
"If you'll excuse me now, I'm going to lurk," Spike said angrily. He slammed the door behind him. A guilty tear ran down Spike's cheek.
* * *
Buffy, Giles, and Willow walked to a nice little diner down the street. It was small and there weren't many people inside. They sat down in a booth in the corner so no one could overhear their conversation. A waitress came by and took their orders. When she walked away Giles turned to Buffy.
"Buffy, are you going to come back with us to Sunnydale?" Buffy sighed deeply. She hadn't made up her mind yet. She tried to tell herself that she was weary of life on her own.
"Y'know Xander didn't mean it," Willow stated, "He's just, well, jealous." Willow fumbled over the word. She didn't want him to like Buffy, but there was no way she could stop him. "He thought he had a chance with you, now that Angel is…uh…gone. But then he saw you kissing Spike. He really cares for you and he's also upset that Cordelia dumped him."
"Why did she dump him?" Buffy asked.
"He wouldn't stop talking about you. Everything he said included your name," Willow sighed, "It was really annoying." She smiled. Buffy fiddled with her spoon.
There was an awkward silence. Buffy was tying to think of something to say when the waitress came up with their food. Buffy and Willow each had a hamburger and Giles just had coffee. They ate without saying a word. When they finished with their meal Buffy and Willow decided to share a sundae. It was like old times, before Buffy had left Sunnydale. She wasn't sure she wanted things to change. She could either go back to Sunnydale or stay in Calamida with Spike. Spike…Buffy's thoughts drifted to Spike. Spike's cute smile and witty personality.
"Buffy…Buffy?" Giles said wearily. He was tired from the long drive from Sunnydale to Calamida.
"Oh! Sorry. What were you saying?" Buffy said quickly. Willow smiled.
"Buffy, what were you thinking about?" Willow asked. Buffy smiled slyly.
"Nothing."
Willow knew exactly what Buffy was thinking about. "Maybe Spike will come back to Sunnydale with us! He can stay in Angel's apartment!"
"Angel," Buffy repeated sadly.
"Well, Buffy," Giles interrupted, changing the subject, "Are you going to go back with us?"
"You know, your mother is really worried about you. She's sorry," Willow's eyes pleaded with Buffy. Please come back, we need you, her eyes seemed to say.
"How's my mom?" Buffy asked.
"Your mom is a nervous wreck. She misses you so much. She blames herself for your leaving," Giles answered.
"She blames herself?" Buffy had no idea she was causing everybody so much pain.
"What about school?" Willow smiled and told her what she had done with the school records.
"Okay, I'll go back to Sunnydale with you," Buffy smiled at her decision.
* * *
Xander paced back and forth in the hotel room. He couldn't believe what he had said to Buffy. Spike had made him so mad. He had waited for so long for Buffy to give him a chance and Spike had to come and ruin it all for him. He sat down on the edge of the bed. He stuck his fist in the bucket of ice. The punch had hurt Xander's hand more than it hurt Spike's jaw. Figures, he thought, the one time I get the chance to hit someone I hate, and it doesn't even hurt him. What am I gonna tell Buffy? She was already mad at him, and now he had to tell her about hitting Spike.
As if right on cue Buffy, Willow and Giles walked into the hotel room. Buffy looked around the hotel room. "Where's Spike?"
"Uh…lurking," Xander uttered. Buffy noticed Xander's hand was in a bucket of ice.
"What's wrong with your hand?" she asked concerned. Then a look of realization came over her face. "Xander you didn't…Xander, did you punch Spike?!" Xander looked at the ground.
"Um…yeah."
"Xander!" Buffy shouted, "I'm gonna go find Spike." She started toward the door.
"Buffy, he'll be okay. He always does this," reasoned Willow.
"Yes, I guess I better go check out a room for me and Xander. Maybe Spike could stay with us," Xander flashed him a look. "Or not," Giles said, "We'll leave first thing in the morning." He turned to Xander. "Let's go." Giles and Xander walked out the door. As they walked down the hallway, Giles cleared his throat and started to speak.
"You know, Xander, that was…uh…very uncalled for. You know, back there with Buffy. And then you had to go and take it out on Spike, punching him and all. I guess what I would…um…like to know is…well I guess I'd like to know why." Giles stared at Xander expectantly.
Xander frowned and lowered his head. He didn't answer for a while. Finally, he lifted his head.
"I don't know," he answered plainly. He didn't say anything else.
"What? That's all? You don't even feel guilty? If she had chased after Spike to find him tonight, it would have been your fault. She could have been attacked or mugged or even kidnapped. Of course I'm sure she could have taken care of herself in any of those situations, but it is a dimwitted fool who would even let her take those chances."
"I thought I was gonna get away from my mother for a few days. I had no idea she was coming along," Xander muttered.
* * *
"I say we have some fun," Willow said, smiling brightly, her eyes lighting up.
"Good luck finding something to do this late at night. Calamida may be close to L.A., but believe me, there's nothing exciting about it," Buffy answered, sighing.
"Are you sure? There's gotta be something," Willow encouraged.
"Well, not that I can…hey, wait a minute," Buffy realized. "I did find out about this local club…" she drifted off.
"Great! I'm game," Willow said, happily. Buffy smiled and started to get something out of her suitcase.
"What's that?" Willow asked. Buffy held up a short black dress.
"Let's party!" Buffy exclaimed. * * *
A low groan was heard on the top story of the old mansion on Crawford Street. A dark figure lay on the floor. He rolled over and stared at the ceiling. He looked surprised and lifted his hand to stare at it. Finally realizing where he was, Angel jumped up from the floor. He looked down at his legs and then felt his face with his hands.
"What the…how did I…"Angel shook his head, trying to clear his mind. Suddenly he laughed. He looked at his hands one more time, then walked into the next room. He was actually very happy and he seemed like he didn't have a care in the world. But then he saw Acathla. The statue was just standing there, staring sightlessly at the opposite wall. There was a sword protruding from his heart.
All of Angel's memories came flooding back to him. All of the killing, the evil, Angelus, Drusilla, Spike. But most of all, Buffy. All of the pain he had caused her and all of her friends. He had killed so many people, but all of that guilt didn't add up to how much pain he felt for Buffy. Suddenly, he realized that he had to find her. She must have been so upset when she had to plunge that sword into his chest. He had been so surprised; he couldn't understand why she had done it. At least, at that time he hadn't. It was interesting, because he couldn't remember what had happened after that. But for some strange reason, he knew why Buffy had stabbed him. He knew all about Acathla and Buffy's alliance with Spike (Angel shuddered), just like someone had told him the whole story. He knew every detail, like someone had handed him a book and made him read it over and over. But who?
Angel shook his head and walked downstairs to the entryway. He opened the door and stepped out into the cold night air to search for the Slayer. * * *
That stupid kid. I ought to beat him to a bloody pulp. What did he think he was doing, hitting me and all? I should have hit him back. But that would have made Buffy angry. I don't want to make Buffy mad at me. Still, one little punch wouldn't have been that bad. Then maybe that bloody idiot would have a little bloody respect.
Spike was walking down the dark streets. He shouldn't have left without telling Buffy. She might be worried. Or maybe that was just wishful thinking. Maybe she didn't even care that he had left. Perhaps she was glad to finally get rid of him. After all, he was a cold-blooded killer.
Stop it Spike! Now is not the time to get down on yourself. You don't want to end up like Angel when he had a soul. Always moping all the time.
Spike sighed heavily. When Angel had a soul. That was the time that he was the happiest. After all, he had had Dru then. There was no "my Angel" then. She didn't ever mention him. It was always Spike and Drusilla: together forever. She had loved him at that time. She could have cared less about Angel.
A silent tear ran down Spike's cheek. He angrily wiped it away. He was really getting sick of that. It was bad for his image to cry. Image? What image was that? The image of a killer? Yes, it was. It was an image of a dark, evil man who didn't care who or how many people he killed. He was a killer, and now he realized all of the horrible things he had done.
Not now, Spike. You can't have a break down now. Not when Buffy needs you. But did she really need him? Well, she used to need him, but now that her friends were here, she probably didn't really care if he was there or not.
Spike realized it was getting late. He decided he would go back to the hotel, just in case it turned out the Buffy really was worried about him.
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