April 17, 2000: Well, only about a month into this WOL and I am already having hard times. I keep having to talk myself out of quitting. Yes, I am losing weight, albeit slowly. Yes, I am eating well. Yes, I could cut out the snacks and condiments to lose faster. But I still have the "I feel deprived" feeling in my head. Last night I would have killed for a piece of toast with butter! However, I know that if I stop now I will gain what I have lost back and I will hate myself. I also know that after a week or so of self-control on the non-LC way of eating, I would crack and go back to being a sugar junkie. It is a very vicious circle. And now that my children will be on Easter vacation, the desire to jump off is even stronger. I figure it won't matter if I feel like crap the next day because I don't have to go anywhere for over a week. Stop me! Help me! I can't fail this time around; not for me, not for my health, not for my children's sake. I don't want them to have to grow up with a mom who won't go out because she always feels bad or has nothing to wear or just doesn't want to be seen!
April 12, 2000: I'm falling behind again in my diary entries. Sorry about that. Down another pound this week. Still haven't given up dairy and I might not at this point. Eating mostly beef and the cream in my coffee or whipped cream and still losing. Maybe not as fast as I would like but I would rather lose in comfort than in deprivation!
April 4, 2000: Yesterday was TOUGH! I really felt like pitching it all in. Almost that TOM and the want to eat anything and everything is kicking in. Only problem is that the only food that seems to attract me at the moment is junk food. No, I haven't had any BUT the feeling is there. I had tuna last night for dinner but I almost didn't finish it. Now even thinking of tuna makes me gag. I made some spicy chicken legs this morning and have some steaks defrosting so hopefully that will help some. Also plan on going shopping tomorrow so I'll get some cauliflower and maybe some spinach. Still waiting on my shipment of Chinese sauces and such from gongshee.com. Was supposed to arrive yesterday but didn't :-( But, my coffee did arrive. Ok, I'll hush up now lol.
