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Chapter Seven: Every Little Thing
Chapter 7: Every Little Thing

Wait a minute! What am I doing! A voice inside me suddenly exclaimed during the silence.

I pulled away from Paul and the kiss. Not violently, jerkily, or angrily, but fast enough to make Paul realize the kiss couldn't continue. I didn't mind him being near me or holding my hand, but something about the kiss troubled me.

"Paulina? Are you all right, luv? 'Anything wrong?" he asked softly while delicately stroking my cheek. I didn't answer him just yet. During that lingering silence, I thought about my brother. I thought about John. He would be so disappointed in me; I turned on him, ignored his warning about Paul after all that he did for me.

I knew what I had to tell Paul. I just didn't know how to say it without causing him to become sad. Shortly after taking a deep breath, I answered his question.

"Yeah, I--I'm all right, but Paul, I can't. I--I couldn't …" I said. After that, I shivered a little bit because of the cold, night air.

"Here, take me jacket," Paul offered gently. He relinquished my hand and began to remove his jacket. I could see that all he had under it was a T-shirt, and I knew he would be cold himself.

"Oh, Paul, you don't have to; it's okay. You'll catch a cold--" I tried to protest.

"The cold is the last thing on my mind, luv," Paul said, still in a soft, caring tone. He helped me put on his jacket, and immediately he held my hand again. His hand became slightly colder than before.

"Don't worry about me. I'll be fine, but, Paulina, gettin' back to you--Are you all right?"

"Well, I just, um, it's just, about--"

"The kiss?" Paul painfully asked. He already knew what was bothering me.

"Yeah, that," I replied slowly. "Paul, the kiss, it didn't feel right to me, like I wasn't allowed to do it. I don't want to hurt you, not--not after you poured your heart out to me. Please understand ..."

The young boy swallowed my words. They sliced like razors inside his throat, or like he was swallowing shards of sharp glass. He managed to say, "I--I understand, I know. I, um, I didn't think that it was right either, meself …"

"Paul--"

"No, no, it's all right. I'm all right. Don't--don't worry about it," Paul said, ending with a disappointed smile, but tried to look as cheery as possible. I wondered how he really took it though. He seemed all right now, but what would he do when he was alone?

I couldn't imagine what he would do. I didn't really know how he took the whole thing, whether he was really hurt, or just temporarily hurt. I wasn't sure. He looked sad, but then he wasn't ...

"Paulina? Are you sure you're all right?" Paul asked, seeing I had lapsed into a brief silence.

"Oh, yeah, yeah, I was just thinkin', that's all," I said. I was about to say more, but Paul slowly placed a finger on his lips, signaling me to remain silent. He appeared solemn and serious, but something in his eyes revealed to me he was still all right. I wanted to know how he felt; nothing in his face or actions indicated any clues as to what he was really feeling.

Paul, after he obtained the silence necessary, lowered his finger from his lips, and began to speak.

"Don't--don't say any more just yet. I know you didn't want to hurt me, I know. It's just that …"

A dewdrop emerged from his eye, took the daring plunge, and tumbled down his porcelain-perfect face.

"Oh, Paul, it's okay," I said while I wiped his tear away. "It's okay, Paul. We'll always be friends no matter what. I love you like a second brother. C'mon, cheer up for me, Paul. I know you can do it," I finished with a smile, hoping that Paul would feel better.

"I ... I love you too, but you're--you're probably right. I mean, I know you, know everything I could about you, like you're me own sister. I couldn't carry the weight of a relationship like that."

"Then don't cry, Paul, please. Especially not after my first kiss," I playfully slipped that truthful line in there on purpose.

"I'm not crying," Paul protested softly, then even laughed a bit since he knew he was denying the truth. But when he realized what I had just said though right after, he laughed even more.

"Oh, hi, Paul! Now that's the Paul I want to see! Yeah!" I told him. Laughter does wonders for a situation like this.

"I didn't know that was your first one!" Paul said, still laughing a bit. "'Fancy a lad like me giving a lovely girl like you your first kiss!"

I laughed with him. "See, everything worked out in the end, right? It's all over now, we're over it, and we're both happy. And," I continued. "I was here and will always be here for you. I was here when you shed that tear. I wiped it away for ya."

"Yeah, thank you, Paulina," Paul said sweetly. "I needed that." He took my hand and placed it in his hand again.

"Paul, we'll always be best friends. Who was the one who helped me with my homework, huh? Who was the one who was always there for me when no one else was? Like all those times after my piano lessons. John normally would come to take me home, but since he went off to college, I had to walk home by myself, remember?"

"Of course I remember."

"Yeah, you knew about it ahead of time, so you waited and walked home with me every time John wasn't there. Every little thing like that, and more, is what I love you for, Paul. We have this close relationship, even though it's not the kind of relationship you thought it would be."

"Thanks, Paulina, and don't you forget: I'd still go to the ends of the earth for you."

"Best friends forever, right?"

"Forever, luv. Forever."

Then I gave him a gentle hug, and he hugged back. He held me tight, but in a loving manner. I could tell there was a certain essence coming from him: He smelled sweet, clean, pleasant ...

… Lavender. That was it. Paul always had that distinct essence of lavender every time I was near him. Somehow, it always made me feel safe.

Soon after, we finally relinquished each other … almost. Paul went back to holding my hand again. I thought it was the cutest thing. I knew that he wouldn't shed any more tears over what just happened. His problem was already resolved.

"But one thing, Paul," I said. He looked at me alert and attentive. "Just one thing, Paul. No one--"

"Has to know about this?" Paul said, understanding and smiling. "Yeah, I know. John would probably have me head if he knew we were alone together for this long, let alone that we, um, kissed."

"Right," I said with a soft laugh. "This is our secret. No one will ever know."

"Nor would we want anyone to know." Paul winked at me. After that, I looked around us. The full moon glowed warmly and brightly, spreading its immaculate, illuminating white rays over Starlight Palace. Everything was still visible thanks to the moonlight, but it was late.

"Paul? It's dark already. I think we should get goin' before your father worries 'bout us," I said, getting up. Paul followed suit.

"Yeah, we wouldn't want anyone findin' out about this anyroad, so no reason to get them thinkin' and suspicious. Here," he said after realizing something. "'Wouldn't want you to forget this," he told me, picking up my drawing from the ground and handing it to me.

"Thank you," I replied with a smile. "Oh, and I still have to get my books."

"Right, luv. We'll walk back to my house together. I'm just happy that we got to spend a bit of time with each other. Y'know, just you and me."

"I liked that too, Paul. But it was a rather bittersweet evening for you though. I'm sorry if it didn't turn out the way you wanted it to."

"Oh, don't be sorry, Paulina. It's all right. With you here, it was only sweet, only sweet to me," he replied warmly. "This is an night I'll remember for the rest of me life."

"Yeah, I know I won't forget it," I replied. He smiled.

"'You ready to head home, now? C'mon, let's go," Paul said with an optimistic tone. I could hear it in his voice. I loved that about him too. He always made the best of his situation, was always happy or tried to be as happy as possible wherever he was. I nodded in response to his question.

We were about to leave when we heard a frightening shriek.

Both Paul and I looked at each other, and we were both surprised and scared. I didn't know what made that sound, but what I heard next soon answered my question.

"Get away from my sister!" the malicious voice screamed, shattering the peaceful, night air.

On to Chapter 8

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