My Role-Model is a Lesbian

Something happened to me today that I thought I'd share with you all because I can't really tell anyone else. I live in Dallas, TX, and I go to a private college prep school, I'm going into 11th grade. Anyway, this has been a very hard year for me, my parents are having problems, school is more difficult, and also some relationship problems. Anyway, I felt like my life was sort of crumbling around me until I met a lady (we'll call her Ms. Jones) that works in the administration. I'd always admired her, though I never really knew her. She seemed like she had nearly everything she wanted, money, a job she loved, a fantastic reputation and the respect of everyone that knew her. I talked to her now and then and tried to make a point of getting to know her better. She seemed to like talking to me, though she was always in a hurry and didn't really have much time. The more I found out about her and her accomplishments, the more I liked her. She became my role model and ! I practically everything I did was infulenced by her, thinking about what she would think or do in my situations. The idea of trying to reach her high standards pulled me through the year with confidence, despite the bumpy ride. Anyway, obviously, I had more respect for her than anyone in the whole world. Today I found out something about her. It happens to be the absolute last thing I would ever have associated with her, she's so conservative, so republican, etc. She is a lesbian. How I found out is beside the point. When I heard, I felt like I was going to vomit. Okay, I know there's nothing wrong with being a lesbian, but it was really shocking to me and so unlike the person I thought she was. I felt betrayed and let down, like my whole world was about to fall. It's hard to explain the feeling, but I guess it's almost like finding out the guy of your dreams, your fiancee committed the Jeffery Dahmer murders. I know being lesbian isn't a crime, or necessarily bad, but....! Does anyone understand? I really don't mean to offend anyone that mig ht be lesbian, so I hope no one takes offense. But the main deal is that this woman, who has pretty much been my guiding light through the dark tunnel, is really not the person I thought she was. I don't really know what to do now. This is such a conservative school, too. I mean, is it wrong or prejudice of me to feel this way? Don't get me wrong, I don't have anything against lesbians or gays. It's just that I was modeling myself after this woman who I wanted to be just like and now I find out that....If anyone has some advice for me, I'd really appreciate it.