I wonder every day at the value we hold for our own sadly meaningless
lives. What is there that is so wonderful about life that we are so
unwilling to give it up? I tell people, I'm not trying to kill myself, but
if I die I don't see it as a big loss. Which is why I intend to have a
damn good time while I'm still around. The best way to live life is without
worry, without obligation, and most importantly without regret. I try not
to worry about anything because I know that things will eventually work
themselves out no matter how screwed up they are, and that I can't change
anything that's already happened. Fate, destiny, providence, call it what
you will. Just move on and don't drive yourself psycho about that stupid
thing you said to billybobjoesmith, or because you fell down in a skirt on
a rainy day the second week of starting a new school (yes, I actually
managed to do that). Live in the moment and for the moment, be spontaneous
and crazy or you might be missing out.
      I hold myself and only myself responsible for myself, and therefore I
feel very little obligation to anyone else, except for my dad, but that's a
whole other story. It's so stupid that people go around blaming each other
for everything all the time. If you've got a problem do something about it
or stop whining. Actions speak louder than words, and all that crap.
      As for regret, I simply refuse. Everything we do, everything that
happens to us impacts who we are, whether we appreciate it or not. I don't
regret anything I have done or any choices I have made. "Forget regret-or
life is yours to miss" Take any single one away and it removes a part of
who I am-I prefer to stay in one piece. Not that I'm necessarily proud of
everything I've done, I just refuse to let it weigh me down. I remember
reading somewhere about how every day in our life sets off a chain of
events- think of one day and what happened that, even in the far future,
set off other events in your life. Which is why we should live every single
day as if it's the first and the last day of life. "No day but today". If
you can't make today count, what can you say about the next?
      Enough of my philosophying and preaching. The library is where I hold
my poetry up to public ridicule, so feel free to comment. Preferably directly
to me, but the guestbook is good too(hinthint). And if you spend as much
time online as I do you should have plenty of time to stop in the guestroom
and go visit some of my friends.
      Farewell, adieu, au revoir, ..oh just go on...
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