Q: HOW DO YOU KEEP A BLONDE BUSY ALL DAY?
A: Put her in a round room and tell her to sit in the corner
Q: How do you get a blonde to marry you?
A: Tell her she's pregnant.
Q: What will she ask you?
A: "Is it mine?"
Q: How does a blond spell farm?
A: E-I-E-I-O>
Q: How does a bitchy blonde do it doggy style?
A: She takes off her clothes and makes her boyfriend roll over and beg.
Q: How does a blond kill a fish?
A: She drowns it.
Q: A blond is going to London on a plane, how can you steal her window seat?
A: Tell her the seats that are going to London are all in the middle row.
Q: WHY DOES A BLONDE LIKE THE NUMBER 77?
A: She likes to be 8 (ate) more.
Q: WHY DON`T BLONDES LIKE ANAL SEX?
A: They don`t like their brains being screwed with.
Q: How is a blonde like peanut-butter?
A: They spread for the bread.
Q: What do you call a blonde golfer with an IQ of 125?
A: a foursome.
Q: Why do Blondes wear earmuffs?
A: To avoid the draft.
Q: Why do blondes get confused in the ladies room?
A: They have to pull their own pants down.
Q: What do blonde virgins eat?>
A: Baby food.>
Q: How do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday?
A: Tell her a joke on Wednesday.
Q: What is the blonde doing when she holds her hands tightly over her ears?
A: Trying to hold on to a thought.
Q: Why did the blonde stare at frozen orange juice can for 2 hours?
A: Because it said 'concentrate'.
Q: Why did the blonde snort Nutra-Sweet?>
A: She thought it was diet coke.
Q: WHY DID THE BLONDE BAKE A CHICKEN FOR 3 AND A HALF DAYS?>
A: It said cook it for half an hour per pound, and she weighed 125.>
Q: WHY DID THE BLONDE PUT HER FINGER OVER THE NAIL WHEN SHE WAS HAMMERING?
A: The noise gave her a headache.
Q: Why did the blonde climb up to the roof of the bar?
A: She heard that the drinks were on the house.
Q: Why don't blondes have elevator jobs?
A: They don't know the route.
Q: What is the first thing a blonde learns when she takes driving lessons ?
A: You can also sit upright in a car.
Q: What is the difference between a blonde and a prostitute?
A: Prostitutes don't drive Ferrari's
Q: WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN ELVIS AND SMART BLONDES?
A: Elvis has been sighted.
Q: WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN BLONDES AND TRAFFIC SIGNS?
A: Some traffic signs say stop.
Q: WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A BLONDE AND A LIGHTBULB?
A: The lightbulb is smarter, but the blonde is easier to turn on.
Q: What's the difference between a blonde and an ironing board?>
A: It's difficult to open the legs of an ironing board.
Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a brick?
A: When you lay a brick it doesn't follow you around
Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a broom closet?
A: Only two men fit inside a broom closet at once.
Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a phone booth?
A1: You need a quarter to use the phone.
A2: Only one person can use the phone at once.
Q: How does a blonde commit suicide?
A: She gathers her clothes into a pile and jumps off.
Q: How does a blonde like her eggs?
A: Unfertilized.
Q: How do you drown a blond?
A1: Put a mirror at the bottom of the pool. A2: Don't tell her to swallow.
Q: What is every blonde's ambition in life?
A: To be like Vanna White and learn the alphabet.
Q: WHAT ARE THE WORST SIX YEARS IN A BLONDE'S LIFE?
A: Third Grade.
Q: WHAT DID THE BLONDE SAY ABOUT BLONDE JOKES?>
A: She said they were pretty good, but they might offend some Puerto Ricans.
Q: WHAT DID THE BLONDE THINK OF THE NEW COMPUTER?
A: She didn't like it because she couldn't get MTV.>
Q: What do UFO's and smart blondes have in common?
A: You keep hearing about them, but never see any.
Q: What does a blond say during a porno?
A: There I am!!
Q: What do you get when you cross a blonde and a lawyer?
A1: I don't know, there are some things even a blonde won't do.
Q: What's the disease that paralyzes blondes below the waist?
A: Marriage.
Q: What's six inches long, has a bald head, and drives blondes crazy?
A: A hundred dollar bill.
Q: How does a blonde interpret 6.9?>
A: A 69 interrupted by a period.
Q: How do you confuse a blonde?
A: You don't. They're born that way.
Q: How do you know when a blonde has been making chocolate chip cookies?
A: You find M&M shells all over the kitchen floor.
Q: Do you know why the blonde got fired from the M&M factory?
A: For throwing out the W's.
Q: Why don't blondes like making KOOL-AID?
A: Because they can't fit 8 cups of water in the little packet.
Q: How do you keep a blonde in suspense?
A: (I'll tell you tomorrow.)
Q: How do you keep a blonde busy?
A: Write 'Please turn over' on both sides of a piece of paper.
Q: Why does the blonde stand in front of a window during a thunder storm?
A: She loves having her picture taken (flashes, got it?).>
Q: What does a blonde answer to the question "Are you sexually active?"
A: "No, I just lie there."
Q: What's the first thing a blonde says in the morning?
A: "Thanks, guys..."
Q: How does the blonde car pool work?
A: They all meet at work at 7:45.
Q: What happens when a blonde gets Alzheimers disease?
A: Her IQ goes up!>
Q: Why was the blonde disappointed with her trip to England?
A: She found out Big Ben is only a clock.
Q: Why can't blondes make ice cubes?
A: They always forget the recipe.
Q: Why do blonde's find it difficult to marry?
A: Because you don't have to marry them to have sex with them!
Q: Did you hear about the blonde who just bought an A.M. radio?
A: It took her two weeks to figure out that you could play it at night.
Q: Did you hear about the blond with a Masters degree in Psychology?
A: She'll blow your mind, too.
Q: Did you hear about the scared blonde nurse down by the water?
A: She won't go DOWN ON THE DOC.
Q: Did you hear about the blond that was treated at the emergency room for a concussion and severe head wounds?
A: She tried to commit suicide by hanging herself with a bungie cord.
Q: DID YOU HEAR ABOUT THE BLONDE WHO STOOD IN FRONT OF A MIRROR> WITH HER EYES CLOSED?
A: She wanted to see what she looked like asleep.
Q: Why did the blonde keep ice cubes in the freezer?
A: So she could keep the refrigerator cold.
Q: How many blondes does it take to play Hide and Seek?
A: One.
Q: Why couldn't the blonde write the number ELEVEN ?
A: She didn't know what ONE came first...
Q: Why don't blondes talk when having sex?
A1: Their mothers told them not to talk to strangers. A2: Their mothers told them not with their mouths full.
Q: How do you describe 3 prostitutes and a blonde?
A: Ho, Ho, Ho, and to all a good night.
Q: How did the blonde try to kill the bird?
A: She threw it off a cliff.
Q1: How can you tell if a blonde's been using the computer?
A: There's white-out on the screen. Q2: How can you tell if another blonde's been using the computer? A: There's writing on the white-out.
Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a computer?
A: You only have to punch information into a computer once.
Q: What did the blonde think of the new computer?
A: She didn't like it 'cos she couldn't get channel 9....
Q: How can you tell when a FAX had been sent from a blonde?
A: There is a stamp on it.
Q: How can you tell if a blonde is a good cook?
A: She gets the pop tarts out of the toaster in one piece.
Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a guy?
A: The blonde has the higher sperm count.
Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a toothbrush?
A: You don't let your best friend borrow your toothbrush.>
Q: What's the difference between a blonde and your job?
A: Your job still sucks after 6 months.
Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a rooster?
A: In the morning a rooster says, "Cock'll-doodl-doooo", while a blonde says, "Any-cock'll-doooo."
Q: What is the difference between a blonde and the Grand Old Duke of York?
A: The Grand Old Duke of York only 'had' 10000 men.
Q: Why is it good to have a blonde passenger?
A: You can park in the handicap zone.
Q: Why does a blonde insist on him wearing a condom?
A: So she can have a doggie bag for later.
Q: Why does a blonde only change her baby's diapers every month?
A: Because it says right on it "good for up to 20 pounds."
Q: Why do blondes like lightning?
A: They think someone is taking their picture.
Q: Why do blondes drive BMWs?
A: Because they can spell it.
Q: What does the postcard from a blond's vacation say?
A: Having a wonderful time. Where am I?
Q: What do a blonde and a good beer have in common?
A: They both go down easy.
Q: Why do Blondes have TGIF on their shoes?
A: Toes go in first.
Q: Why do blondes wear green lipstick?
A: Because red means stop.
Q: Why don't blondes double recipes?
A: The oven doesn't go to 700 degrees.
Q: Why don't blondes call 911 in an emergency?>
A: She can't find the number 11 on the telephone buttons.
Q: What is the difference between a blonde and "The Titanic"?
A: They know how many men went down on "The Titanic".
Q: What does a blonde make best for dinner?
A: Reservations.
Q: What does a blonde say when she gives birth?
A: Gee, Are you sure it's mine?
Q: What does a blonde say when you ask her if her blinker is on?
A: It's on. It's off. It's on. It's off. It's on. It's off.
Q: What do you call a blonde lesbian?
A: A waste.
Q: What do you call a blonde with half a brain?
A: Gifted!
Q: What do you call a swimming pool full of blondes?
A: Bobbing for Bimbos.
Q: What do you call a hooker and four blondes?
A: Regular price, four bucks, four bucks, four bucks four bucks.>
Q: What do you call it when a blonde dyes her hair brunette?
A: Artificial intelligence.
Q: What do Blondes say after sex?
A1: Thanks Guys.
A2: Are you boys all in the same band?>
Q: What did the blonde's mum say to her before the blonde's date.
A: If you're not in bed by 12, come home.
Q: Why did the blonde have tire tread marks on her back?
A: From crawling across the street when the sign said "DON'T WALK".
Q: Why did the blonde keep a coat hanger in her back seat?
A: In case she locks the keys in her car.
Q: Why did the blonde want to become a veternarian?
A: Because she loved children.
Q: Why did the blonde go half way to Norway and then turn around and come home?
A: It took her that long to discover that a 14 inch Viking was a television.
Q: Why did the blonde get so excited after she finished her jigsaw puzzle in only 6 months?
A: Because on the box it said From 2-4 years.
Q: What is the blonde's favorite potato chip?
A: Free-to-lay (Frito-Lay).
Q: What is the blonde's favorite battery?
A: Ever-ready.
Q: What did the blonde's right leg say to the left leg.
A: Nothing - they've never met.
Q: What is the blonde's chronic speech impediment?
A: She can't say "No".
Q: Why is a blonde like railroad tracks?
A: 'Cause she's been laid all over the country.
Q: Did you hear about the blonde couple that were found frozen to death in their car at a drive-in movie theater?
A: They went to see "Closed for the Winter".
Q: HOW DOES A BLONDE PREPARE FOR SAFE SEX?
A: She puts on rubber based lipstick.>
Q: What's a blonde's idea of safe sex?
A: Locking the car door.
Q: What did the blonde do when she heard that 90% of accidents occur within 5 miles of home?
A: She moved 10 miles away.