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umm, uhh, yeah.
So, I did it. I went out. It was kind of an accident, really. Karen was in my room being really obnoxious around 4pm, and she was using my computer. So I went next door and visited Sara R, the one I'm slightly intimidated by. We talked. And then Sara (another one I've probably never mentioned) Tracy the RA and Erin came in. And we went to dinner. And during dinner, someone happened to ask me if I wanted to drink, and I said yes. They never ask me and I feel dumb inviting myself. After dinner we spent an hour or so deciding what to do... a lot of it centering around the fact that I'm not 18 and therefore can't do anything. We talked about scanning and altering my ID, which I can do (ummm... yes, I've tried, no, no one has ever gotten liquor using one, at least not as far as I know.) ...but the new IDs glow under blacklight, and that's not something I can fake. And we talked about just staying in and drinking, but nobody liked that idea, including me. So we decided I'd try getting in with my student ID. I had so much fun, after we decided that. We (sara, sara, tracy, erin, and three guys from upstairs- josh, creek, and bill) sat around for a while drinking and getting ready (I had a shot of bacardi and a beer. I would've drank more but it was after nine when someone finally went to the store so basically all we could get was beer. I like having friends over 21, I really do.) and they were so sweet when I actually said out loud that it was my first beer. (I still decided I'll stick to liquor.) ...and all the girls went through my closet yelling at me because I actually do have cool clothes that I never wear. They picked out what I should wear, and then Erin did my makeup (the mascara was a little scary. I don't think my eyes were meant to stand out quite that much.) In the middle of it all, I made Bill a fake id (he'll never get away with it- the paper was just normal cheap printer paper and you can't fake license lamination) and then later everyone was complaining about how cold we'd get walking there and then they were all complaining that they didn't know when the drunk bus came... so I walked away and came back with the schedule and Bill (that's a weird name, it really is) started going off about how I should be president, and he'd vote for me, and there she is the first woman president. And tracy said she wouldn't be surprised. And it would figure the first guy I've liked (umm.... ever.) has been going out with the same girl for two and a half years. harumph. So we caught the drunk bus (it's a shuttle bus that runs to the bars, and includes a baby-sitter who sits next to the bucket labeled, "If sick please use" and watches for someone who might need it.) And we were all a little bit nervous that I wouldn't get in, and they were all telling me to say, "I lost my license." ...but it was easy. I just handed him my ID, and it was loud so I didn't say a thing. He looked at it for a second, and told me to go talk to this nice lady who made me pay $7 so she could put big black X's on my arms meaning I can't drink. I really wasn't nervous, I'm thinking it was the beer. I never actually danced before, and I wasn't sure about that. But then I did it, and it wasn't so bad. By the end of the night I was dancing with Bill in a cage with bunny ears on my head. Yes, really. Sara and Erin got bunny ears for easter and Erin only wore them because Sara kinda made her, but she didn't want to. So I wore them. And yes, I danced in a cage. That was by far the closest I've ever been to a guy, unless you count the townie who tried to dance with me earlier in the night. (He was trying to dance behind me but he kept lunging forward and spilling his drink on my hand and in the process I realized I am never again letting a guy I don't know rub up against my back. I can be a little slow sometimes about these things, but that guy wasn't just dancing.) Anyway, the point really is, I had fun. I really didn't think it possible that I could have fun in a crowded smelly bar dancing to music I normally hate. But after I'd been out there a few minutes, I stopped thinking. I stopped worrying if other people were looking at me and kinda hoping maybe they were. I'm really not looking for a relationship right now, and because of that I've stopped worrying what gender the "right person" is. I'll either find him/her, or I won't, but I'm not going to say, "Well, I could only fall in love with a woman anyway, so I'm not going to dance with that guy." It's worth it to try, I think. My friends all stopped and stared and Sara R screamed (whooo-hooo) when they noticed I was dancing on a platform in a cage. I love shocking people, I really do. ~me |