|
written August 29, 6:30pm. Uploaded August 29, 1:06pm
Hey. It’s still not terrible. I still don’t have a roommate. I wish I did... but nobody here seems to know anything. I have a floor meeting I have to go to in 25 minutes, but I figured I’d write some before I go.... I don’t know why they say everybody gains weight when they go away to college.... here I’m exercising a whole lot more, because I have to walk to get anywhere. I am halfway between the student union and the dining hall, and it takes around ten minutes walking pretty fast to get to either of those. Maybe five. I never really counted. But I seem to be walking all the time. I’m getting blisters, even though I’m wearing those old smelly tevas that I’ve completely broken in. And the other thing is that when I’m at home I eat really bad food because it’s so quick to make, and I can’t stand to wait to make anything. Here I can eat good food without waiting, so I do. I’ve been eating pasta and salad. They have a really great fat-free italian dressing on the salad bar. I always eat fat free italian because I like italian dressing and I tried the fat free kind once to see what it was like and it didn’t taste exactly the same but it tasted just as good, so I eat that. Anyway. I went and bought my books, and paid $454 for books for five classes. And that doesn’t count a couple of “recommended” but not “required” books that I left because I knew I wouldn’t have enough. There was only $500 in my account, I am definitely down. Although I do have some cash... around $60 I think, between what I had and what my parents gave me before they left. Luckily I don’t need much money because my food is already paid for and now I have almost everything I really need.... I still need to buy a couple notebooks, and I need some decorative stuff, but the decorative stuff can wait. I don’t know what to say about the people here. I don’t really know any of them very well. There are several party people, and I am just so not a party person, and I think they’ve already picked up on that cuz they leave me alone. There’s a couple of really nice people, though.... one of them, the one I went to the computer lab with earlier, she’s nice but she was the first person I met before I realized I was on a freshman dorm so I told her I had an associate’s degree, and today she was quizzing me on why I was here, and I told her I’m 16.... and I think she’s been avoiding me since then. Maybe I’m just paranoid, though. I do tend to be paranoid sometimes. And there’s some other nice people. I’m hoping to meet some people when I start classes.... I think maybe I’ll find some people there who are more into stuff that I’m into. Not that I really even know what I’m into... but at least I should find someone to talk politics with. I could talk politics for hours, but nobody in my dorm has even declared a major and when I tell them I’m political science most of them cringe. okay... scary stuff..... Monday, 5:15, in the basement of the student union is the semester’s first GLBTSFA meeting or whatever that is. There’s more initials in their non-heterosexual student club than any other one I’ve ever seen. But I think that’s right, there- gay, lesbian, bisexual, & transgendered student faculty association. I know there’s an F in it because I think that must stand for faculty and that kinda surprised me. Anyway. I’m going. I have to go. My RA here told us that if we saw any guys at last night’s block party who appealed to us that she’d find out what section they were in and we could have a party with that section or something or other. And nobody said anything and most people seemed to think that was a great idea. Nobody here seems to be very out, and I think the only way I’ll find anyone who is is to go to that meeting. The trouble is that I’m not entirely sure I want to be out... I mean, I want to be out. I want everybody to know that I’m gay. Everybody. I just don’t want to tell them. I imagine the solution to that would be shaving my head and wearing t-shirts with pink triangles on them, but that’s really telling them too, just in a different way that I can’t as easily censor when people I’m just not brave enough to be out to (like certain relatives) are around. So I’m going. There’s a carnival tonight... I’ll probably go. I think I need to really try to socialize... I mean, I’m surrounded by something like 5,000 people all roughly my age, most of whom are looking for new friends. There’s no reason I can’t be one of those friends.... the problem is that I hate parties. And I can’t imagine meeting someone I really like at a party. I mean, they’re loud and they’re crowded and I just hate it so much, and the personality of someone who loves parties, including school sponsored ones, because they’re not all that different, really, that kind of personality really clashes with mine. I am so much happier hanging out in my little room, talking or listening to music or anything... I’d better go. metting time. Later. |