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I think there is way too much pressure to socialize in college. It’s getting to me already.
I have no problem eating alone, in fact sometimes I’d much rather eat alone, so that I
don’t have to chew and talk at the same time. I also have no problem going to a movie by
myself or hanging out in a dorm room by myself. And a lot of the time I would much
rather be alone than with people. I think I told you before, the fact that I have no friends
isn’t a problem for me. I liked it that way. Here, there are people everywhere and they all
want to make friends and that’s cool, cuz I’d like to make friends too, but I kinda want
the kind of friend who could sit on the bed reading while I sit here typing and neither of
us would think that was weird. And I want someone to have real conversations with... not
“where are you from?” “what’s your major?” “what dorm are you in?” and “what classes
are you taking?” and all that stuff. I guess that stuff is fine the first day, but that’s all it is
now still. Oh, and boyfriends. Boyfriends are a very big topic of conversation. I, of
course, have nothing to add when that subject comes up. I don’t see why people think it’s
so strange to be alone. I just got back from this campus picnic that I had to go to because
they closed all the dining halls so people would go, and I walked through the hall before I
left to see if there was anyone who wanted to go but didn’t want to go alone and I didn’t
see anybody so I left, and when I got there I didn’t see anybody else sitting alone, so I
just sat down and started eating, and that’s fine with me. I don’t get self-conscious at all,
which I think other people do. And then all of a sudden this security officer came up to
me and started talking to me, all the same questions, because he felt sorry for me. And I
hate that. And that’s all.
I have to get dressed for this stupid convocation thing I’m supposed to wear something nice to, but that’s kind of a problem because I brought cordoroys but nothing but t-shirts and a dress but no nylons. So I have to find something to wear and put my hair up and all that stupid stuff that I never do. Well, except put my hair up. I do that a lot. bye. |