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written August 31, 3:00pm I have this “I am so stupid” mantra going through my head and I can’t get rid of it. I think it’s what happens when I’m really scared about something and I don’t think I should be. That stupid glbfsa meeting is today. In two hours. Ugh. I had classes today. Two of them. Foreign governments and Gender politics. They both look pretty good, except they’re both bigger than any class I’ve ever been in before. Hopefully they’ll shrink some in the first couple of weeks... does that happen at every college or just community colleges? At JCC classes always shrank. Depending on the teacher it could be almost half by the end of the semester.... but even then, even if the classes I’m in now shrunk down to half, they would still be bigger than most of the classes I took at JCC, and I’m told that these classes aren’t that big--there’s around 50 people in each of them. And they must not be that big, because they’re not in those enormous lecture halls that I’ve seen around. But the classes I’ve taken, I think all of them were between 10 and 30. My intro to Human Services course might’ve been a little over 30, but not much. I love small classes. That’s why I wanted to go to antioch, most of the classrooms there I looked in, it was a round table that sat maybe ten people and the professor. None of that sitting in rows stuff. I sat in on a class there, and it was so cool. But really, I would’ve probably had around $30,000 in loans after two years there. I just couldn’t afford it. So here I am. I hope it’s not terrible. I still don’t have a roommate. and I’m kinda lonely. I have to go to that stupid meeting. I miss my cat. And I’ve been here for four days and I haven’t gotten any mail. ugh. I think I’m just depressing myself more.... I should stop, I think. |