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Hi. So I had my economics class again tonight. I got back our first test... it had been a take home essay type test. I didn't mention it before because it was no big deal. Right after the class when we got it I sat down at the kitchen table and did half of it while I was eating.. then the other half I did Monday at the library while my dad was at the Y. It was no big deal. So anyway, I got my test back and I got a 97%. Of course I was happy, but it wasn't exactly a surprise- I'd known I'd done good on it... what amazed me though is that we went over the whole thing, and while we did it came out that there's a group of people in our class who met to work on it together and they spent hours and hours working on it... and their grades were all in the 70s. It occured to me that those people put a whole lot more effort into their 70s grades than I did into my 97. This was a very strange thought.... I hadn't realized before this that the test wasn't easy to most of the people in the class. I mean, I knew it was harder for some people than me, but it didn't occur to me it was that many people... I mean, besides those people, the guy sitting next to got a 64... and I got the impression that was closer to average than my grade. It's very weird for me to actually admit to myself that this economics stuff is easy for me... it requires basically no effort to understand it, and even less for me to spit it back out in an essay. And it's so strange to sit there in the class and see that all these people.. most of whom are 20 years older than me (it's a night class) ...and they're having a harder time with it than me. It's a very strange feeling... that I really can't seem to articulate very well tonight. I think it's embarassing more than anything else. I'm not sure why... it's probably leftover from all those years in school where I had to lie about my grades ..65s (the passing line) were very cool... 95s were not... I mean, even writing about this here feels like bragging, and I just don't understand why! This is, after all, my journal ... and I kinda made a promise that I wouldn't censor it (...much) But I feel guilty writing this. Like everybody who reads it is gonna think "she's just showing off," or "she's such a freak" and it doesn't make any sense. Ugh. "I cannot name this, I cannot explain this, and I really don't want to, Just call me shameless" (ani, duh) okay, so that really doesn't fit here, but it's what just came out of my tape player. :-) I got two more bootlegs today. They're both very cool. My collection is now up to 8 with two more on the way. I'm gonna go around later tonight and try to set up a couple more trades. Entirely New Subject: ...I'm thinking of chopping off my hair. Right now my hair is just below shoulder length and dyed bright red... and it is driving me crazy. I don't know what to do with it. I can't leave it down, because then it gets in my way. I keep breaking butterfly clips, because they can't hold all my hair. I'm sick of pony-tails... besides I don't think they look very good on me. I want really short hair. The kind that requires no more effort than washing it. Right now, washing it is all I do to my hair, except then I have to find a way to put it up so that it looks halfway decent, and I never succeed, and it takes way too long. I have definite hair difficulties. The problem with chopping it all off is my mom. She's really against the idea... which is strange, because this is the same mom that usually tells me "don't you want to cut your hair? How about a perm? Want to look at the hair dyes?" And my whole life her philosphy has been that I can do whatever I want to my hair because it'll always grow out... and it's not like she'd forbid me to cut it or anything like that... it's that she'd make me feel bad about it if I do cut it. Even now she's like "Don't cut it, it didn't look good short" ...ugh. I really don't feel like writing anymore. |