Blanco
he jumped on his horse
and rode off into the sunset
heading for parts unknown
his angel sat beside him
and sang a sweet song
as he rode his steed
the sun beat down
and reflected off the white
silk hair of a great and gallant stallion
he came to me one night in a dream
and his angel sang me a lullaby
softly rocking to beat of the hooves
on the metal frame of my dementia
i see him every now and then
with leather rim hat
steed underneath
singing me a lullaby
falling to the rocks below
wishing it was a pinto
peace
sitting under starry sky
firefly dancing
on the lip licking breeze
flying on a fancy
not feeling
pain
nor sadness
nor confusion
just sitting under starry sky
owl singing it’s melodic question
not caring whom is the who to which he sings
just sitting under starry sky
crickets falling asleep
frogs flitting about tall grass of ponds and lakes
grass beneath
sitting under starry sky
wondering how many before
have found peace
sitting under starry sky
dark place
a place you do not want to be
an unknown mystery
covered in secrets
doused in lies
so entangled in the web
deep within
every thing crushes together
and twists your intestines
until your blood boils
and oozes out of your pores
a mass of hysteria
deep cries muffled by the tornadoes within
burning desires eating the inferno of hatred
cages surrounding me
light disappearing
longing for peace
power
it sees in me
the sadness of loss
and the pain of a growing child
hearing
the cry of a baby in the night
and the joy of a growing girl
feeling within
the hope and love
I have to give
tasting on its lips
the sweetness of a kiss
and the tenderness of my weakness
it gives to me
the sadness of loss
the laughter of lazy summer days
growing love of a timeless romance
hope for the future
through the eyes of a child
and now of a man
yes, this power in you
see's the power in me
and both make us stronger
make us see the heartaches
and happiness ahead
Oh my love,
such is our love!
across the table
what could possibly be so important
that you can't spend more than a minute
showing me something you know?
what could be so damn important
that you don't have an hour to spare
other than that of dinner time
a pestilential silence never ending
silence is not an adequate way of dealing
you speak of your day
but never of love, yourself or what’s going on inside you
i have nothing, i know nothing of you
but that which i have inhaled across the kitchen table
and that is not nearly sufficient
i need more
more of everything
compassion, love, understanding, communication
open communication with feelings and explanation
the bridge has burned
perhaps never existing
but if we can rebuild
i would know more of you
than that which i have inhaled across the kitchen table
which is not nearly sufficient
sudden disappointment
sudden disappointment
is losing something you never had
before you ever had it
and missing it desperately
sudden disappointment
is feelings of desperation
so strong and fierce
the tears tickle down
and burn you skin
sudden disappointment
is feelings that nothing
will ever matter so dearly
and nothing will ever make it better
and not caring is it does
sudden disappointment
is waking up and realizing
that it is just you
and there is no one else there
and aching for him
sudden disappointment
is thinking of all the things
you could’ ve had
would’ ve had
should’ ve
but don’t
therules
you broke the rules the day you
left me alone, heart breaking
you said you would never leave
you told me you would stay with me forever
and again you promised with a ring on my
finger and a publicized and private "I love you"
so why is it that i stand here watching you
go with my heart and i cannot say anything
as you disintegrate into the sand
of my hourglasses permitting no
retrospection
we had told, promised, and vowed we could
love into eternity so why am i sitting here
near the gates of time on this cold stone
bench with wilting flowers on it
i do not understand what it is that you want me
to do and i could not if i wanted to
because we said we would be perpetually together
we said we could last
we said our love would carry us on a cloud
and we would soar into the sky together
and yet i sit here cold alone and mournful
because you broke the rules
and rules should not be broken
and you knew that...
ocean
i'm drowning
in hatred, sorrow and pain
and the hopelessness of a never ending love
why, my love, oh why
must you always crush my dreams
why is everything so violently tidal
i'm drowning in a sea of horrid whitecaps
i cannot breathe
nor thrash about
nor yell hysterically
i do not see the sun penetrating the surface any longer
i have reached the blackness of the deep
and i can feel your tentacles of poison
wrapping around me, stinging my skin
why can't i leave your vicious whirlpool of lies
why won't someone save me
why am i incapable of saving myself
somebody...
anybody...
save me
oh please, won't you save me.....
waterfront
feet emerged in frigid water
wind tearing at the roots of my hair
seagulls surfing alone searching for safety
a storm is brewing...
rain begins to plummet to its doom
(only to unite in the lake)
lightening strikes a sailboat in the distance
the thunder is roaring and screaming at the earth far below
a storm is brewing...
sand whirling around sweeping up my regret
wind taking with it the pain in my heart
lightening brings with it the light lost from my body
thunderous celebrations of my rebirth
seagull calling for me to follow him to freedom
come, let us away
let us dance to our waterfront café...
lullaby
hush you said
do not cry you said in the still of the night
and you held me, close
sweet kisses on my forehead
gently caressing my fading skin
desperately wishing to take my pain
hush you said
it will be okay you said in the center of our loneliness
and you stayed up with me all night
slow rocking back and forth
softly rubbing my hair
praying for my peace
hush you said
it's almost over you said in the rays of the rising day
and you held my hand
slight squeezes to my weakening fingers
sweetly whispering comfort to my ears
madly wanting an end
hush you said
it is done you said in the brightness of morning
it's time to go I said
and i went....
dance ‘til dawn
come with me and we will
dance all night on my
mountain with the wind
sweeping us away,
let us go to my secret
cave where darkness
is our friend and light
is our enemy,
follow me to my
castle where darkness
is magical love,
come with me and we will
dance ‘til the sun rises
and we can hide together
for an eternity or more,
please, follow me, follow me
I will lead
and we can dance ‘til the suns rays break the night
follow me my love
and we can dance ‘til dawn
Majestic
if I were to relive a moment
so fine, pure and simple
I would have to choose
the night I met him...
I had been weaving through the trees
full moon above,
penetrating the then bare branches of the oaks
the forest floor dusted with snow
when I came upon a clearing
and froze in my tracks
I saw him, his beautiful brown coat
glistening and softly reflecting
the romantic glow of the moonlight
we just stood there, frozen in time and in our space
his brown eyes wide awaken by my movement
my breathing slowed, as did his
together making a slow melodic rhythm
of inhales and exhales in perfect sync
within the harmony of existence
it was then the snow began to fall so gently,
natures glitter
lightly covering my eye lashes and hair
and as the snow sprinkled its mystical magic
we, frozen, stood there
in awe of what was an encounter
of simple yet epic proportions
just standing there
made the sands of time seem more robust
so that they were not falling so quickly and effortlessly
endless hours, seemingly passed by me
and before I knew it was over, it was
a simple clearing of my throat
had triggered his instinctive reflexes
and his massive legs carried him away
leaping away from the clearing
deep into the thickness of the woods around me
I wonder about him now and then
I wonder if he had a family of his own
or if he felt the awe and admiration
that had eluded me for so long
his eyes dance in mine as I sleep
haunting me
with stories of loneliness and hunger
they tell me age old stories
no one else will ever hear or understand
I reach for him in my dreams
desperately wanting to have a part of his magic
yearning to feel his thick sparkling fur between my fingers
hoping it would bring me part of the
majestic power
only he possesses
craving to experience that once more
if only for a second
yes, he comes to me in my dreams
as he appeared to me that night
in fleeting detail
a flash of something greater than myself
majestic and intense
years from now I will still yearn for that connection
to gaze into his eyes,
those haunting, compelling eyes
yes, if I were to relive a moment
it would be this
because he was he
and I was I
and that was enough
thoughts flying by my eyes
through my mind
into my soul
where the sadness and desperation
of hopelessness eat me alive
i lye in the darkness of midnight
surrounded by four walls i painted
yet i feel enclosed
like i've been buried alive
and it wasn't even me
who died
how could so many things go wrong ?
what could provide that much hate in one’s soul ?
why did no one notice before the blood bath ?
the darkness of my room
collides with the questions scrambled in my mind
as i am waiting and desperately wishing for sleep to come
and take me away to my cloud
with rainbows surrounding my road of gold
i am waiting for the sand man to give my fix
so i can escape the tortures of life
it all started with two boys
that came after two other boys
which followed another person
who had come after somebody else
why does it take thirteen lives
for people to realize what we already knew ?
we need tougher laws
we need to teach respect to children
all too oftenrespect
sits alone in the dark corner of the classroom
buried in a duffel bag
while parents go on blaming the media
and society goes on blaming the parent
and the children blame society for failing them
what has happened to us ?
what made us great has destroyed us
and it destroying our children
our children carry too much on their shoulders,
the hope of a world gone mad
why must they carry so much baggage ?
how could there be so much to bear ?
a tear falls from my eye to my pillow
behind the iron curtain of my mind
the tear, for the children
both living, dead and dying
a tear for all those before
and those yet to come
a tear to sprout hope
for those less fortunate than I
i am not surprised,
and something so horrific
should surprise me
it should make me fall off my chair
and yet it did not
how come ?
where does a child cultivate that much hatred for the world ?
how does the child find the time and patience
to build an army of bombs with which to kill ?
what could make the child this desperate ?
has society failed this child ?
we need respect
the answer is simple
we must reach inside the duffel bag in the corner
and pull out respect
we have to teach respect,
for yourself,
for others,
and for life
violence in the media does not cause the problem
in only provides a scapegoat
for those who carry the burden of responsibility
but i will not let the media take all the wrap
society has failed
it failed to see the problems
building up in the youth of today,
building inside me
society fails to teach respect
it fails to provide parents with the right to discipline their children
it allows children to call child abuse for a spank
it lets itself blame the parents
and it blames the media as well
the blame has got to stop
my tear sheds lights on hope
the hope that all tears cried will spread
these tears are sprouting new life
they are eatingthe fear and misery
felt by children of all ages
i lye here waiting for sleep to overwhelm my mind
and carry me away to a safe place
where the locks and chains that bind me
fall off
and society takes responsibility for the part it plays
where hypocrisy, aristocracy and classification
disintegrate into the mist
no one has the answer
we each only have a piece of the puzzle
and each time a tragedy occurs
we loose pieces of the solution
and every piece is just as necessary as the next
just a few thoughts that are flying by my eyes
through my mind
into my soul
where the sadness and desperation
of hopelessness are eating me alive
i lye in the darkness of midnight
surrounded by four walls i painted waiting for sleep to come
yet i feel enclosed
like i've been buried alive
and it wasn't even me
who died
sleep
the still of the night
moonlight penetrating
the otherwise darkness of our house
falling gently onto your hair of silver
caressing your soft skin
how many times I have watched you sleep
lungs melodically moving up and down
entrancing me
delicate hands resting by your face
eyes closed
you look so peaceful
as you have several times before now
but every time I wake
and glance at you
it strikes me again,
the first time on our special night
fifty years ago
your eyelashes sway
as my exhales fall upon them
I have watched your hair turn
from deep brown to silver
everything about you
is me
everything in me
is for you
every breath I take
every beat of my heart
spells your name
I run my fingers through your hair,
feeling the love of our life
pass between them,
my hand runs gently over your back
and I pull you closer to me,
I want one more peek before I close my eyes
one more glance before I go to sleep,
and let the memories wash over me
I look at you once more,
moonlight falling on you
making a halo around your body
God, you are so beautiful!
I close my eyes taking this image of you
into my mind
and I fall asleep...
