Chapter Two
After having been reduced to rubble, the Branegan house was back up to its former glory, ever single window pane and brick exactly the same as it was before. It looked a little too new, a little unscathed to have been the place where two boys grew up, but other than that, it fit the picture Jack had in his head of his childhood home. It was dusk and light came streaming out of the windows. He was a little surprised because his parents usually weren't home this early but then he remembered it was the weekend on Arus' planetary rotation. He could see them moving around inside, his family, bumping into each other in the kitchen and exchanging jokes like they always had. He'd missed them and more than once, he thought about going back home just to see them, but usually he was too far to do that. Once, he'd been halfway there, but turned around before he could finish the journey. It hadn't been time for that yet. He didn't know how long he stood there looking at the house, but he was not quite ready to go in.
The last three years had been a whirlwind for him as he traveled from system to system trying to outrun his emotions and his thoughts. The first few months were a bit of a blur of drinking and gambling, not something he was proud of, but he'd gotten over it when he'd nearly lost Ethan's fighter in a bad hand of poker and got the scar he had on the left side of his lip. He spent a few nights staying up to think about why he'd left, something he had tried to forget by drinking his memory away. But he found that along with the bad memories, there was plenty of good, and he found himself reminiscing about a childhood that had been blessed, surrounded by people he loved, and he realized that he just needed time to learn to appreciate life again.
In that time, he let his anger and guilt over Ethan's death, his bitterness over how his life had changed because of Merla seep away. The next year was spent exploring and he'd met many interesting people. That was when he started writing. All the hours alone in the fighter with no one to share his thoughts had him sitting down with a pad of paper and pen and just writing what he thought. He had several pads filled with writing now that he didn't know what to do with, but he was proud of what he had done. It was more a travel journal than anything else, but his sharp observations of human behavior on different worlds was interesting reading, or so the woman he'd almost married told him.
Ishara was a barmaid on the Planet Nothice when they first met a year ago. With her dark hair and blue eyes, she reminded him strongly of Bethie and despite himself--and the potential psychological backlash of dating a woman who looked like Bethie--he found himself drawn to her. But Ishara was a strong enough person to soon make a mark of her own and he took her with him when he left the planet. She was his companion for six months and he'd let her read what he'd written. She liked it, added one or two intelligent suggestions and it was then that he decided to ask her to marry him. She'd accepted without question and he thought that maybe he could get on with the rest of his life. Then, she began to ask whether or not he was going to take her home to his parents, or when she was going to be able to talk to them. When she learned he hadn't told anyone of her, she'd been hurt and she asked him what he was doing here with her. When Jack couldn't answer, she'd packed her bags and asked to dropped off at the nearest space station.
He wanted to go to her, to apologize and promise that they would get married on Arus, surrounded by his family and friends, but he couldn't. The words would not go past his lips. He realized then that Ishara was no more than a fantasy to him, not someone he could wed to the reality of his family and friends because although he loved her in his own way, he was not in love with her. He thought he could build a life with her but he could not think beyond the next day. He could not see himself growing old with her or having her bear his children. There was only one woman he had ever thought of in that position.
It was then he decided that it was time to go back to Arus and see if he could do it right.
So here he was, back to where it all began.
Mounting the steps on light feet, he rang the doorchime and waited. Link answered the door, her gray eyes curious as to who the hooded stranger on her doorstep was.
"Yes?" she asked then squinted at him. "Jack?"
Smiling, Jack pushed back his hood. He'd wanted to surprise her, but he should have known that his mother would recognize him no matter what he did. Link let out a gasp and dropped the spatula she held in her hand. She threw herself at him and he laughed, surprised to find himself close to tears as she clung to him, her own tears falling freely. Lance and Jason stuck their heads out the kitchen and nearly collided in their hurry to get to him.
"Jack!" Jason cried.
"You're going to give me a heart attack," Lance said with a shake of his head.
"Did you miss me?" Jack asked dryly.
"Not at all," Link sobbed.
When everybody calmed down and got over the shock of Jack's reappearance, Link ushered him into the dining room and fed him until he thought his stomach would burst. It amused him that his father and brother could hardly eat their own dinners, their eyes fixed on him as if they were afraid he would disappear.
"I like the new haircut," Lance said, running a hand through his own shaggy hair, shot through with gray. "I'm about ready for a cut but I don't know if I'd go that far."
Jack ran a hand on top of his shorn hair, shrugging.
"It was easier to deal with. You should have seen what the barber on Mofrit did to my hair," he said.
"Man, everyone is gonna be so happy to see you," Jason said. "Has Bethie sent you pictures of her kid?"
Jack's smile wobbled, a fact not lost on either of his parents.
"Uh...yeah...he's a cute kid."
"Looks just like Ethan did at that age, too. He started talking before he was even one and I swear he and Keith have philosophical discussions," Lance said easily.
"So, Jack, where else did you go?" Jason asked, interestedly.
"Oh come on, I wrote you plenty of times when I was in transit. You know all about it. But you're the one who needs to fill me in. What's this I hear about a new girlfriend? What happened with Alana?"
"Very sensitive, Jack," Link said dryly.
"It's alright, Mom," Jason said waving his hand. "Lana and I never really got off the ground. You know she's the High Priestess of Arus now, don't you? She's practically a nun."
"Or priest."
"Exactly. Anyway, she's a great friend and if you have any problems, go to her. She's like an oracle."
"I'll keep that in mind. So...the girlfriend...?"
"Her name's Risalle. She's actually one of Mom's staffers."
"A smart girl. Very pretty," Link added.
"Did I mention Mom loves her?" Jason said wryly. "We've been seeing each other for a little less than a year."
"I've been hearing big things about you, little brother," Jack said. "Moving your way up the RAF ranks, making noises about a political career...who are you and what have you done with Jason Branegan?"
"That's Lieutenant Jason Branegan," Jason corrected. "Uncle Keith was happy to commission me and I was his aide for a little while. Then, I guess he decided I needed room to grow and he stationed me way out in the desert...where you were."
Jack's expression did not so much as flicker and that was indication enough that he was not quite ready to reminisce about those days. Jason cleared his throat and looked away. The silence fell on them, tense and heavy, but then Jack straightened, offered his brother a small smile. Jason just shrugged, holding out his hands in apology. Just like that.
"As for the political career, we'll see," he said easily.
"Dad, you must be humiliated," Jack said, feigning concern for his father.
"Horrified. I can't believe I raised a politician," Lance sighed without missing a beat.
They laughed. Link sat next to Jack and gave him a tight hug.
"I missed you so much," she said. "There was one less voice getting on my nerves around here. Did you...did you find what you were looking for?"
"I think I did," Jack said softly. "I wouldn't have come back if I hadn't."
"That's reassuring," Lance said. "Nice little scar you got there, Jack."
Jack smiled and tapped it. "You should see the other guy."
Link grabbed his face and brought it in for closer inspection. He winced as she squeezed his face tight and then glared at him.
"I hope the other guy has a bigger scar," she said. "I can't believe you let him get close enough to give you this one."
Jack laughed, surprised that she wasn't berating him. Link smiled ruefully.
"She's mellowed out in her old age," Lance said, leaning back in his seat. "You came just in time, kid."
Surrounded by his family, warmed by his home and full from his first homecooked meal in three years, Jack realized that he had come at the right time. He was ready for this again, ready to go on with his life and to take the path that was meant for him. The past three years had only been temporary, a need for him to figure things out, and he had. All those months of fighting, of living with the knowledge that maybe that day would be his last, of shouldering all the responsibilities that flying the Black entailed had been harder than he realized and when it was over, he was left...empty...lost. But he found the fire that had burned in him again when he thought of Arus, of the family he'd left behind, of the love. He had come just in time.
"Yeah...yeah I did," he said, smiling crookedly.
