A Prince's Word, A Soldier's Promise

I've heard that when you're about to die your life flashes before your eyes. I gotta wonder how that word got out though, because the keywords here are about to die. Well, I suppose that guy got out of it. I wish I could say the same.

So what was I saying? Oh yes. My life did flash before my eyes. Not from beginning to end, but the important parts. Like the first time Dad and I went horseback riding or the first time I realized Bethie wasn't a giant monster out to destroy me (that was a good one). I relived the day that Mom introduced Alana to me and Bethie and told me that since I was her older brother, I had to protect her. I remembered playing with Jack in his backyard, running around Uncle Lance until he said words that kids shouldn't hear before the age of thirteen. Then I fell down and he bandaged me up with this glow in the dark band-aid that I thought was the coolest thing in the universe. On my tenth birthday, Dad took me up in his personal fighter and gave me my first flying lesson. We spent a lot of time in that fighter and I learned what kind of man he was--and what kind of man I wanted to be.

I wish that I'd had the chance to find out if Dad's influence shaped me into being a good man.

I'm not going to lie and say that I never felt like I was in my father's shadow. If anything, I am not sure what it's like to not be in it. I look like him, I act like him, I know all these things and there are worse men to be compared to, but if there's one thing Mom gave me, it is sheer bullheadedness. I want to be my own man, influenced by Dad, but a distinct individual. When I was little, I wanted to be Dad. I even had a miniature version of his jumpsuit, right down to the patches, and we used to walk around together in Voltronia dressed like that. Mom made fun of him for that but she was the one that got it for me. Then, when I got older, I tried to separate myself. Not going to extremes, of course, but I started my own projects around the planet, like an irrigation project in the more arid regions. Dad seemed to sense what I was trying to do and he kept his distance--can't say the same about Mom.

When I went to the Academy, I didn't hear the end of it from my professors and visiting officers just how much like Commodre Porterfield I was. It drove me insane. When I went home that first term break, Dad and I got into a huge argument. I don't even remember what about, but I picked the fight because I was so frustrated with him. We talked later, in his study, and he told me that he was proud of me, that I could accomplish anything I wanted with or without him, but people would not see me for me for a long time. He told me the truth and I appreciated that. Besides, he was right.

Maybe now I'll be remembered for myself.

I'd always been the good boy, the model Prince, that whole identity crisis aside. Arusian press hounded me wherever I went and even when I went to the Academy, once I stepped off the grounds, I was fair game. I was used to having cameras chasing after me but for a while, I tried to fight them off. There's a pretty good picture of me trying to take a swing at a photographer, and I can't accurately describe how Mom reacted to that one--let's just say I got a new personal fighter out of the deal. Dad was not happy about it and he took the access card away for a month. My parents may be the King and Queen of Arus, but they are as normal as parents can get. Anyway, thanks to the attention, a lot of girls I would have liked to date were scared away, but just as many were attracted by it. I got involved with a couple of the wrong type and it took a couple jibes from Bethie to get me to open my eyes. I had my fun, but it was time to get serious. I'm the Prince of Arus and I need to be more careful with who I might potentially make a Crown Princess. I guess, that's why I finally looked to Olivia.

Now, I didn't look to her because she would make a good choice, but because I think that deep down, I was afraid that maybe she was the right one. We'd grown up together and I knew her as a friend before anything else. She was usually the quiet one, letting Morgan or Matt dictate what it was they were going to do next, but that did not mean she was a pushover. It was just that half the time, she really wasn't paying attention to what was going on. My first memory of her is of her staring into the lake waters, squinting as if she was seeing something no one else was. Naturally, Jack pushed her in, but she wasn't angry when she came up for air. Instead, she held up her hand and in her grasp was a frog. That was when I decided she was cool.

I fell in love with her easily. Before we'd made love, I knew that I could spend the rest of my life with her. In a way I have since that life is over now. I wish that we'd had more of a chance because I think that it would have been a good life. Having grown up with parents who are as deeply in love as mine are, I wanted the same for myself. Bethie and I used to wonder what love like that felt like, whether it was fireworks or electricity--but I know now that it's like an old friend. I suppose it's different for different people, so I can only tell you what it is...was like for me. Olivia made me feel like I didn't have to pretend or try to be what she believes a Prince is. She didn't want me to be more than I was and that made me comfortable with her, it let us know each other the way people in love should. There were no pretensions or games and that honesty was more important to me than I realized. She loved me for who I was and I could not ask for anything more than that. True love isn't fireworks or electricity...it just is.

If only it hadn't taken death for me to realize that. If only I'd been strong enough to fight Shadow Voltron's temptation. If only...

Rathul, Alana, Merla...they all said the same thing about my power. Raw. I tried not to let it get to my head, but I'm only human. I saw how my magic affected Voltron and how it won battles for us and I knew that this was how I could make my mark on Arus. This was how I could step out from behind my parents' shadow and come into my own. Also, I liked the way it made me feel. Power is like a drug and I was on my way to becoming an addict. And I wanted so badly for all this to end so that we could all go on with our lives. My mother was enslaved and my father is losing hope, my family is in the frontlines and I wanted it all to end. But Merla's experience gave her upper hand and where I had been their shining hope, I am now just a memory.

But there is no way I am going to step away from the fight. I may not have my corporeal form, but my consciousness lives on. That's obvious, or else I would not be here, talking to you. Bethie and I were right when we said I was more powerful than Merla. I am. She was able to leave her body when Alana killed her and I could do the same. When my vision started to darken and I felt myself dying, I did the only thing I could think of...I pushed my powers out through the cables that kept me tethered to Shadow Voltron and I literally became one with it. I am in its body, absorbed into its structure like Merla is.

We battle now, even as I speak to you, for control of it. My body remains in the pilot seat, but there is no returning to it. I don't know if I will be able to win because without it, I cannot contain the magic that is drawn to me. So I use it when it flows in and out through my energies, use it to keep her at bay. Right now, we are sharing the robot, but not for long. The Core beckons to us both and I'm going to stop her from obtaining the power she so desires. I'm going to do it for my parents, my sisters, my unborn nephew--someone who will carry on the Porterfield name--and for Arus.

Even if it's the last thing I do.