Interlude: A Conversation

Allura rested her chin on the crib's guardrail and watched the sleeping baby. She reached out a slender hand to tuck Morgan's pink blanket a little closer to her tiny chin and her hand traveled up to the baby's head to stroke it. Everything about Morgan enchanted the Arusian Princess. She'd never taken the time to play with a child or cuddle a baby while they had been underground. There had been a hundred other things to do. But now she had the time. She had spent nearly half an hour in the nursery just looking at Morgan in slumber.

Behind her, Keith leaned against the doorframe, his arms crossed as he watched the Princess. In the semi-darkness of the room, her form was outlined by the silvery moonlight and gave the impression that she was an angel hovering over the baby. He wished he could paint so that he could capture the image the way it looked to him. She was not aware that he'd been watching her for nearly as long as she'd been watching Morgan because he didn't want to ruin the picture presented before him. They had both been working late that night and had gone their separate ways, but he had stumbled upon her while passing by the nursery.

Gwen shuffled down the corridors, her soft slippers making little sound on the shiny floors. She frowned slightly as she noticed a figure hovering at the nursery's doorway and immediately her hand went to the comm link she had in her robe pocket. Then the figure turned slightly and she saw in the dim light that it was Keith. She relaxed and smiled. He had sensed her coming and had turned to look.

"What are you doing around these parts?" she asked. "I thought you were glued to your desk."

"I had to exercise my legs," he said.

Allura turned in surprise at the sound of their voices. "I didn't hear you two coming."

Gwen entered the room and stood beside the Princess. "She looks a lot like me when I was a baby. Except for the aquamarine eyes, of course."

Allura turned to look at the young widow and saw that she was dressed in a ratty old purple robe that her husband had promised to replace one day. That day was never to come. Gwen leaned forward to touch her daughter and her face caught a stream of moonlight. Allura saw the redness around her eyes and immediately felt uncomfortable. She had a feeling Gwen wanted to be alone with Morgan and she moved to stand next to Keith.

"We'll leave you two alone," she said, pushing Keith lightly out to the corridor.

"No need, Princess," Gwen said and she smiled sadly at them. "I came here because I didn't want to be alone. Nights are hard these days." Her voice caught. "My quarters are too empty. I wish I could keep Morgan with me, but she has to learn to sleep by herself or else she'll have trouble staying in her own room when she's older. At least that's what my mother said..."

Gwen took a deep shuddering breath and went to sit on the rocking chair at the foot of the crib. Allura and Keith glanced at each other uncertainly then he moved to lean against the wall at the head of the crib. Allura took a seat on the floor next to the doorway. They both looked at Gwen, knowing she wanted to talk.

"So what are you doing up so late? Or should I say early?" she asked.

"I was finishing up some paperwork," Keith said. "I'm sure as we speak, I'm getting a new pile on my desk for tomorrow."

"And you won't do it as usual so you'll have to spend another night trying to catch up," Allura said wryly.

"You shouldn't talk," he returned.

Gwen chuckled, but it was a hollow sound. "It's hard sitting at the top, isn't it? Can I ask you two something?"

"Sure," Keith said. "Anything, Gwennie."

"What was it like...growing up without your parents?"

Gwen was immediately sorry she asked when even in the pale glow of the moon, she saw Allura's face harden and Keith's fall, an empty look coming into his eyes. Then, she saw the Princess replace the unwelcome expression to a concerned one as she glanced towards Morgan and Keith straightened his shoulders as he met Gwen's eyes with an unwavering gaze.

"Hard," Keith answered. "But I had a...a difficult father. You are a good loving mother to Morgan. She'll be alright."

"But she'll want to know about her father," Gwen said. "She'll want a father."

"When she wants to know about Commander DeSouza, tell her," Allura said. "Show her pictures. Tell her stories. Make him come alive for her through those things. That's how my parents stayed with me. I have a picture of them, their wedding picture, by my bed and every night I say goodnight to them," she added hesitantly.

"It was hard," Allura continued after a brief pause, her words coming out like a runaway train. Her eyes were focused on something they couldn't see, as if she were talking to herself more than them. "I was old enough to remember them and I was lucky because of that, but it made recovering from grief hard. I knew what I was missing. I didn't get out of bed for days afterwards and then I was like a ghost. But I had Nanny and Coran. They became my second parents. Nanny forced me out of bed and Coran began to teach me how to lead. I think without them, I would be a mess."

"Do you think that since you had something to distract you, you got over their deaths faster?" Gwen asked.

"Of course. If I was left to my own devices, I would have only sat around and thought about how much I missed them. When Coran began to teach me, I could think about something else."

Gwen fidgeted with her robe's ties. "But was that a good thing? Shouldn't you have come to terms with their deaths on your own time?"

Allura tucked a strand of blonde hair behind her ear. "For me, it was a good thing. I was too young to know I couldn't grieve forever. But for you...you know when it's time to let go, right?"

Gwen chewed her lip. "I don't know," she whispered. "Sometimes I think the only reason I get out of bed is for Morgan."

"Good enough reason," Keith said. "Let that fill your head. She needs you now more than ever."

"I'm afraid that I won't be enough," Gwen confessed. "I'm afraid of having to raise her alone."

"Morgan was luckier than I ever was," Allura agreed, nodding her head. "Even though Coran and Nanny loved me nothing can replace the love of a parent."

Keith looked at the Princess and saw her eyes glimmering with unshed tears. He felt an answering pain in his heart as he thought about his fallen mother...and his father.

"I was really young when my mother died," he said quietly. "But I remembered her by keeping her garden alive. Whenever I wanted to feel close to her again, I went there. Out to the place she loved to be in most of all. My father...he was not easy to talk to. You know that, Gwennie."

"You were at our house all the time," she said. "I remember that. And I heard stories..."

"Yeah, well," Keith said, ducking his head. "It was hard living with him and I was glad when I left."

"Morgan will never know her father," Gwen said with a sad sigh. "She's not as lucky as you two because she doesn't have any memories to sustain her."

"But she has a bigger family now," Allura said, getting up and going to stand next to Gwen. She rested a hand on her shoulder. "We'll look out for her....and you."

Gwen looked up at the younger woman. Since arriving on Arus, she hadn't yet had a chance to get to know the Princess better, but she had seen the steel will that hid the fragile soul. The Princess hid behind walls to separate her from a future hurt, kept people at arm's length, even her guardians though she loved them. Gwen knew how strong Allura had to be to do the things she was doing. One day the Princess would have to let someone in, but she was pacing herself. She knew where her duties lay. And Gwen could think of no better model for her daughter. Though she was sure Lance would say differently.

She looked to Keith, the intelligent dark-haired young man that at thirteen years old she had once thought she was in love with. He had emerged from a home with an abusive father to become an accomplished Alliance officer as well as a sensitive man that any woman would be lucky to get. He bore the scars of an abused child in the way he avoided relationships that could lead to a family. He had once confessed to Lance, who in turn told Gwen, that he was afraid he would turn into his father if he ever had kids. The fear of every child who had met the fist of a parent. But she knew that he would never do that. His heart was too kind, his temperament too patient. He couldn't hit anyone who spoke badly towards him, and he would never hit anyone he loved. He just had to realize that truth and then the world would be blessed with little Keiths and Keithettes.

Allura gave Gwen's shoulder a squeeze and left the room after throwing Keith a small smile. She had learned more about him in the short time they talked than in the two years she had known him. Keith kissed Gwen's forehead and patted Morgan on the back and followed Allura down the corridor. Gwen stayed a few more moments before leaving as well. She suddenly felt very tired, but relieved, as if the weight on her shoulders had been lifted a bit.

As she left, a shimmering form of a tall raven-haired man, his blue-green eyes shining, appeared next to the crib. He smiled down at Morgan, whose own eyes opened. She smiled up at him. He mouthed, "I love you" and just as quickly as he appeared, Marc DeSouza disappeared.

The End