Some Hilarious Acts By Stupid People!
(no offense)
A guy walked into a little
corner store with a shot gun and demanded all the cash from the cash drawer.
After the cashier put the cash in a bag, the robber saw a bottle of scotch
that he wanted behind the counter on the shelf. He told the cashier to
put it in the bag as well, but he refused and said "Because I don't believe
you are over 21." The robber said he was, but the clerk still refused to
give it to him because he didn't believe him. At this point the robber
took his drivers license out of his wallet and gave it to the clerk.
The clerk looked it over, and agreed that the man was in fact over 21 and
he put the scotch in the bag. The robber then ran from the store with his
loot. The cashier promptly called the police and gave the name and
address of the robber that he got off the license. They arrested the robber
two hours later.
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A woman was reporting her car as stolen,
and mentioned that there was a car phone in it. The policeman taking
the report called the phone and told the guy that answered that he had
read the ad in the newspaper and wanted to buy the car. They arranged
to meet, and the thief was arrested.
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A man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank
of America, walked into the branch and wrote "this iz a stikkup.
Put all your muny in this bag." While standing in line, waiting to give
his note to the teller, he began to worry that someone had seen him
write the note and might call the police be fore he reached the teller
window. So he left the Bank of America and crossed the street to
Wells Fargo. After waiting a few minutes in line, he handed his note
to the Wells Fargo teller. She read it and, surmising from his spelling
errors that he was not the brightest light in the harbor, told him that
she could not accept his stickup note because it was written on a Bank
of America deposit slip and that he would either have to fill out a Wells
Fargo deposit slip or go back to Bank of America. Looking somewhat defeated,
the man said "OK" and left. The Wells Fargo teller then called the
police who arrested the man a few minutes later, as he was waiting in line
back at Bank of America.
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A motorist was unknowingly caught in
an automated speed trap that measured his speed using radar and photographed
his car. He later received in the mail a ticket for $40 and a photo
of his car. Instead of payment, he sent the police department a photograph
of $40. Several days later, he received a letter from the police
that contained another picture... of handcuffs. The motorist promptly sent
the money for the fine.
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Drug Possession Defendant Christopher
Jansen, on trial in March in Pontiac, Michigan, said he had been searched
without a warrant. The prosecutor said the officer didn't need a
warrant because a "bulge" in Christopher's jacket could have been a gun.
Nonsense, said Christopher, who happened to be wearing the same jacket
that day in court. He handed it over so the judge could see it.
The judge discovered a packet of cocaine in the pocket and laughed so hard
he required a five minute recess to compose himself.
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Dennis Newton was on trial for the
armed robbery of a convenience store in a district court when he fired
his lawyer. Assistant district attorney Larry Jones said Newton, 47, was
doing a fair job of defending himself until the store manager testified
that Newton was the robber. Newton jumped up, accused the woman of lying
and then said, "I should of blown your (expletive) head off." The
defendant paused, then quickly added, "if I'd been the one that was there."
The jury took 20 minutes to convict Newton and recommended a 30-year sentence.
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R.C. Gaitlan, 21, walked up to two
patrol officers who were showing their squad car computer equipment to
children in a Detroit neighborhood. When he asked how the system
worked, the officer asked him for identification. Gaitlan gave them his
drivers license, they entered it into the computer, and moments later they
arrested Gaitlan because information on the screen showed Gaitlan was wanted
for a two-year-old armed robbery in St. Louis, Missouri.
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A pair of Michigan robbers entered
a record shop nervously waving revolvers. The first one shouted, "Nobody
move!" When his partner moved, the startled first bandit shot him.
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Cigars and Insurance
A Charlotte, NC, man having purchased
a case of very rare, very expensive cigars, insured them against fire among
other things. Within a month, having smoked his entire stockpile
of cigars and without having made even his first premium payment on the
policy, the man filed a claim against the insurance company. In his
claim, the man stated the cigars were lost "in a series of small
fires." The insurance company refused to pay, citing the obvious
reason that the man had consumed the cigars in the normal fashion.
The man sued....and won. In delivering the ruling the judge agreeing
that the claim was frivolous, stated nevertheless that the man held a policy
from the company in which it had warranted that the cigars were insurable
and also guaranteed that it would insure against fire, without defining
what it considered to be "unacceptable fire," and was obligated to
pay the claim. Rather than endure a lengthy and costly appeal process
the
insurance company accepted
the ruling and paid the man $15,000 for the rare cigars he lost in "the
fires." After the man cashed the check, however, the company had
him arrested on 24 counts of arson. With his own Insurance
claim and testimony from the previous case being used against him, the
man was convicted of intentionally burning his insured property and sentenced
to 24 months in jail and a $24,000 fine.