1.Learn to work the toilet seat: if
it's up put it down.
2.Don't cut your hair. Ever.
3.Don't make us guess.
4.If you ask a question you don't want an
answer to, expect an answer you don't
want to hear.
5.Sometimes, he's not thinking about you.
Live with it.
6.He's never thinking about "The Relationship."
7.Get rid of your cat. And no, it's not different,
it's just like every other cat.
8.Dogs are better than ANY cats. Period.
9.Sunday = Sports. It's like the full moon
or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
10.Shopping is not everybody's idea of a good
time.
11.Anything you wear is fine. Really.
12.You have enough clothes.
13.You have too many shoes.
14.Crying is blackmail. Use it if you must,
but don't expect us to like it.
15.Your brother is an idiot, your ex-boyfriend
is and idiot and your Dad
probably is too.
16.Ask for what you want. Subtle hints don't
work.
17.No, he doesn't know what day it is. He
never will. Mark anniversaries on a
calendar.
18.Share the bathroom.
19.Share the closet.
20.Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers.
21.A headache that lasts for 17 months is
a problem. See a doctor.
22.Foreign films are best left to foreigners.
23.Check your oil.
24.Don't give us 50 rules when 25 will do.
25.Don't fake it. We'd rather be ineffective
than deceived.
26.It is neither in your interest nor ours
to take the quiz together.
27.Anything we said 6 or 8 months ago
is inadmissible in an argument. All
comments become null and
void after 7 days.
28.If you don't dress like the Victoria's
Secret girls, don't expect us to act like
soap opera guys.
29.If something we said can be interpreted
two ways, and one of the ways
makes you sad and angry,
we meant the other one.
30.Let us ogle. If we don't look at other
women, how can we know how pretty
you are?
31.Don't rub the lamp if you don't want the
genie to come out.
32.You can either ask us to do something OR
tell us how you want it done not
both.
33.Whenever possible, please say whatever
you have to say during
commercials.
34.Christopher Columbus didn't need directions,
and neither do we.
35.Women wearing Wonderbras and low-cut blouses
lose their right to complain
about having their boobs
stared at.
36.When we're turning the wheel and the car
is nosing onto the off-ramp,you
saying, "This is our exit,"
is not strictly necessary.
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